yesterday I had an appointment at CancerCare for a check-up… last time we were there the wait was over two hours… this time we were in a room within 20 minutes of arriving… waited for quite a while in the room before seeing the doctor… it is hard to feel peeved when you know that they could be giving someone devastating news or have been in an operating room saving someone’s life…

after the check-up the doctor advised that everything was fine and they would see me in six months…  they were pleased that I can no longer feel the mesh that was part of the hernia surgery, as many people feel it for a very long time… I had asked if I could have the check-ups with my GP instead of using up the space in the CancerCare system but was advised that it made more sense for them to see me, at least for the first two years…

made me think back to the few days that I was in hospital in July when I had my surgery… it was just four months after George’s death and two months since discovering the cancer… my time in the hospital was a roller coaster of bad reactions to pain meds and happiness that I had actually survived the surgery as well as huge sadness that George wasn’t there to look after me…

I have been wearing those big girl pants a lot since then…  when I think back I realize how I have grown in these months…

I think of my beloved every day and the impact of his loss on my grandchildren, my children and me…

and then I remember all the special moments in our lives…