Tag Archives: beloved

bandage…

23 Friday Jun 2017

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bright spots in my day…

I took a few photos of the flowers that a colleague brought me yesterday from the Farmers Market... a lovely treat… particularly love delphiniums and calla lilies…

brought them home with me…

a colleague got this beautiful rose in such a sweet vase today… had to take a picture…

my gardener grandson came by to do some yard work… when it was raining he did some organizing in the basement…

some say he looks like George and today he reminded me of him as he came in a few times with injuries and needed a bandage… 

laughed because the bandaid package has lasted much longer without my beloved being around… he always had a bandaid somewhere on his body, lol… 

so many special moments in the day…

nothing…

17 Saturday Jun 2017

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had decided to do nothing today… just rest up…

but, I headed into the garden and filled three more pots with the last of the plants I bought weeks ago…

the darn squirrels have already dug out one of the lobelias… shoved it back in, so hope it grows… 

pleased with the morning glories that I planted around the deck… looks like the majority are growing… sadly most of the alyssum did not make it, so will need to replace it…

the garden is a bit overgrown but looks beautiful in pictures, lol…

still plan on trimming the daisies soon…

been having trouble getting into gardening this year… missing my beloved and not enjoying my time in the garden so much… 

think I need to find a gardener to come and get some of the major weeding done as my grandson is not going to be available nearly as much as last year… I like to do a bit of weeding but am feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work required now…

walked to the grocery store and got some shots of a tree down the street which had blown over… bunny stopped by as I was taking my pictures, lol…

so apparently I did stuff most of the day… even made potato salad for tomorrow’s dinner…

now to get to that do nothing place;-)… tv, a snack and bed…

dad…

11 Sunday Jun 2017

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been thinking of my dad a lot lately…

he died nearly thirty years ago… he lived with emphysema from the time I was a teenager…

he did as much as he could, but spent the weekends recovering from the week and trying to build up the energy to make it through the next week…

when I turned sixteen, he and I bought a new car together and I began driving him to and from work every day… which also meant that I got to drive to school each day;-)…

he loved sports and we often attended athletic events at the arena and watched whatever sport might be on tv… 

he was the person who taught me to appreciate each person or team’s efforts and applaud everyone’s performance, whether they were the one you were rooting for or not…

to this day I do the same…

he started me on my love of office supplies… when I was young I would occasionally spend a weekend morning with him at work and organize his desk, lol… 

he spent a good portion of his working life helping people figure out what type of work they would be best at, and he was very good at it…

when my beloved and I were first married, he would go grocery shopping with me and add a roast or some other treat to my bag… at first I felt bad that he did this, until I realized it was something he could still do for us… by that time he couldn’t manage physical things like home repairs any longer… buying us a treat was his way of supporting us…

he was a very special man… my girls were not yet teenagers when he died, much like my grandsons who were so young when my beloved left us… maybe this is why I try to keep memories of George alive so that the boys remember him…

a very rare professionally taken picture of mom and dad…

wild…

09 Friday Jun 2017

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went to close the curtains in the dining room this morning and was surprised and so excited to see the wild roses blooming…

we brought home a root that we dug out of a ditch around Hillside Beach decades ago…

nothing happened for a few years and then it took off…

ever since we’ve been pulling it out of flower beds, borders, and even the grass…

but it is beautiful and reminds me of fun times with my beloved…

clematis…

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

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been thinking of some fun times with my beloved…

for years we tried to grow clematis… at one point we had one that grew for two years along the neighbour’s garage… then it died off…

we tried everything from putting rocks over the roots, to digging deeper holes, to trying different varieties… but nothing seemed to work…

we would laugh because one of our neighbours had one that took up the whole side of her garage, lol…

for the last seven years or so this clematis has grown up the side of the house… 

I’m always so excited when it comes up again… it is still rather scrawny looking…

but here it is with blossoms that are nearly ready to open… 

what a treat…

grief…

05 Monday Jun 2017

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had a conversation with someone who had recently lost a family member… we were comparing notes…

both of us talked about how slowly the person seemed to go downhill and then how fast the final moments were…

although you think you are prepared, you aren’t…

we talked about how the grief overcomes you at anytime… for sure not when you’d expect it, and the only way forward is to succumb to the feelings and walk through them…

for me, when the moments come, if I can figure out why I’m feeling that way, seems to make it easier to let it wash over me and then I am able to move forward…

sometimes though they just come with no explanation…

it’s been over five years and I can still drop to my knees with the pain on occasion…

for whatever reason I am going through a deep period of sadness… maybe because my beloved did so much of the work in the garden… maybe because it is Spring and a time for new beginnings… not sure, but it is certainly tough…

the garden, which is usually my favourite place to be, is not providing the usual peace and renewal…

one step at a time…

moon rising over the trees last night…

struggle…

02 Friday Jun 2017

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not sure what is going on but I am really struggling with getting the garden planted and cleaned up…

feeling bad for the new neighbours who appear to be gardeners… at this point my yard is the bad one, sigh…

the front looks like a dandelion forest… got some feelers out to find someone to come and mow and whippersnip on a regular basis…

I’ve got all these lovely plants and have had to force myself to get them into the appropriate pot…

this is all I managed today… still have a number that need to be dealt with in the garden and haven’t even picked up plants for the front beds…

was nice to have my frog friend show up…

and tonight the fish even came out of hiding for a while…

feeling overwhelmed and missing my beloved… five years and it feels like yesterday…

orange…

31 Wednesday May 2017

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on the way out to the garage this morning I spotted orange…

the first two poppies were open… I was on a tight schedule but had to stop, get out my phone and take some pictures…

the poppies self-seed every year… such a welcome sign that spring is really here… many years there might only be five or six that bloom… the year George died there were probably forty… 

amazingly, when I looked at my Facebook feed today, it showed an album from 2012 with pictures of many of the poppies… that was definitely the most we have ever seen in one year… felt it was as though he was with us…

here is my favourite picture from this morning…

missing my beloved…

order…

13 Saturday May 2017

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started my day with Pancake House chicken livers, bacon and potato pancakes via SkipTheDishes… one of my favourite meals and I am so happy that I can just pick up my phone and order using the app…

they arrived within twenty minutes of ordering, were hot and delicious…. my own little Mother’s Day treat…

was waiting for my new BBQ to arrive so had to spend some time watching a few of my PVRed shows, lol… was a bit worried it might not arrive at all… when I ordered it last Saturday they advised they would put it together on Tuesday and then deliver it… called yesterday and they thought it should be delivered today…

pulled a few weeds in the driveway and cleaned up the clematis while waiting for the delivery truck… it arrived and they brought the BBQ into the yard… so cute…

and the sides fold down so it barely takes any room in the garage…

went wild and crazy and planted some dahlia tubers and included some of the morning glories that I started a few weeks ago… the planter will stay in the kitchen until it gets a bit warmer out…

then I’ll add the trellis once it goes outside… considering putting some of the morning glories in the planters that go around the deck… will need to put some filament up for them to climb…  just not sure they will get enough sunlight…

lots of yellow flowers in the front yard… kind of pretty but my beloved would not be pleased…

maybe when the kids are here tomorrow they can do something about them…

got a few things done, chatted with a neighbour and rested… 

another great day… life is good…

frozen…

01 Monday May 2017

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or not…

Saturday was a good day… up at a reasonable time… made a lovely breakfast… I tend to have eggs on the weekend… 

got some laundry done… even scrubbed down the top of the stove… sure do miss George for some jobs and scrubbing is one of them… my arms are wussy but he had strong hands and arms… when he scrubbed a pot it was completely shiny when he was done;-)…

had a break and sat outside and read for a bit… texted with my daughter to see if they were coming for dinner on Sunday and when she advised they were, I headed down to the freezer to pull something out to thaw…

that is when the day took a turn… everything was thawed… as in not frozen, not even cold… bad… it smelled bad and all of it was bad…

my daughter and grandson came over and he – who has a strong stomach and weak nose – unlike his mother and grandmother – took out five bags to the garbage…

then he hosed down and rinsed out the freezer a few times and moved the – now very heavy and completely full – garbage can to the back of the yard… of course Friday was garbage day, so the disgusting smell will be around all week… likely we will need to put some bleach in it for a few days after it gets dumped to get rid of the odour…

so, here’s my freezer today…

waiting to be picked up and taken to the scrap yard…

starting to research a replacement… should I get another chest freezer or go for an upright one…

decisions, decisions…