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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Author Archives: sulis303

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02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

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George and I were married for over 41 years…  I moved from my parents’ apartment into an apartment, and then a house, with him…  we both worked until our first daughter was born, when we made the decision that I would be at home with the children…  in those days you could do that, if you were careful with expenses…  I went back to work when the girls were in high school…

About ten years ago we realized that I didn’t have any credit history, although for many of our years together it was my pay cheque that covered the credit cards, mortgage and other bills…  I had credit cards with my name on them, but they were all under George’s name, and thus his credit… the house mortgage was in both of our names, but I learned that mortgages aren’t part of credit checks and so didn’t count…  so we took the time to go to the bank and get a credit card in my name, as well as a line of credit…  it wasn’t big, and I didn’t use it too much, and was always sure to pay it on time… just enough to get myself a credit record…

George died on March 5th, 2012…  he had a massive coronary while driving home from work, and must have lifted his foot off the gas pedal…  the car drifted across the street and up into someone’s yard where it pushed in their fence… a pedestrian saw this happen, called 911 and stayed with him until the paramedics arrived…  one small miracle was that he didn’t hit anyone and the car only hit a fence and not someone’s house…  he was rushed to the hospital but they were not able to revive him…

The next morning my younger daughter was with me at home and she called the phone company because we hadn’t been able to find his cell phone and wanted to be sure it hadn’t been picked up by someone who was running up charges…  first of all, with the privacy laws they insisted on talking to me before dealing with her, so I gave them permission to have her be on the list of people who could discuss our telephone information…  they chatted with her and got his cell phone disconnected…

Then they asked to speak with me again…  and proceeded to do a credit check to see if I could keep my telephone services… thankfully I did have my own credit, although I was certainly scared for those few minutes that I was on hold…  what was particularly frustrating about this event is that we had been loyal to this telephone company for our entire marriage and had used them for our television and internet connections as well…

That credit card was all I had for a number of weeks following George’s death…  although I had insurance from a number of sources, none of that money turned up for a very long time, and I had to live off that credit card, to cover all the sudden expenses, as well as the ongoing ones…

If you are a married woman and have only been using your husband/partner’s credit cards, you really need to get your own credit card which will give you a credit rating…  you want to do this sooner rather than later, as you need to have had the card for a certain length of time before you actually get a rating…

our wedding day, August 1, 1970

our wedding day, August 1, 1970

Advent starts today…

01 Saturday Dec 2012

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so this morning I opened the first of my muffin-tin advent calendar goodies from my daughter Cyndi, who currently is living in Calgary…  last year she sent the calendar already filled and ready for me to open…  this year, as I already had the tins and covers, she sent the items to go into them to one of my colleagues, who had a great time on her lunch hour putting the calendar together…  here’s what it looks like…Image

Day 1 was a Ferrero Rocher chocolate, which I immediately ate for my breakfast…

Later my other daughter, Crystal, with her husband and 3 boys, picked me up and we went for our first needles in preparation for our January family trip to the Mayan Riviera…  we did pretty well, most of us barely cried, although someone had a fit…  chocolate kisses seemed to fix that up, although he was still saying he didn’t want to go to Mexico for quite a while afterwards…  lucky Crystal and I, we got two shots, one for Hep A and B,and a tetanus one as well…

The boys tell me that we will only be eating tacos – morning, noon and night, while we are there…  this is wonderful for them, as they all love tacos…

We made these plans in June or July while I was waiting for surgery and I am really just getting excited now, especially about all those tacos…

My Big Girl Pants

01 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

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I am starting this blog to share the changes that are taking place in my life since the day my beloved George died suddenly…  I have had to put on my “big girl pants” as my daughters would say and move forward on my own…  since March 5, 2012 I have learned many things and thought it might be fun to share them with others going through various forms of loss…  so, here we go…Image

 

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