St. Patrick’s Day…

17 Sunday Mar 2013

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yesterday Tavin coloured a picture for me but didn’t want to give it to me… this morning he went and dug it out from where he had hidden it and gave it to me…

St. Patrick's Day picture...

St. Patrick’s Day picture on the far right…

then he proceeded to organize all the pictures on the fridge…

we had a lovely brunch with some of Crystal’s friends and the boys were very excited to feed the horses…  the horse was very delicate, and only took one small bite of the carrot at a time…  the pony took the whole carrot and dropped it on his side of the fence to eat at his leisure…

feeding the horse at The Gates...

feeding the horse at The Gates…

we went shopping for Crystal’s birthday present… once I got home I had a bit of a rest and watched some TV as my tummy hasn’t been feeling fabulous…

it has been overcast, snowy and windy for most of the day and apparently it will be like that tomorrow as well…

I am off to bed, thinking how George would have enjoyed the brunch this morning… like the boys, he loved bacon…

fun-filled day…

16 Saturday Mar 2013

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went shopping downtown with Crystal and Tavin and I found all kinds of things to buy…  I got an long purple coat for a steal, some new slacks and a number of tops…  they will go nicely with my two new jackets from Thursday’s shopping spree…

we ran into a colleague while we were shopping and we were guessing that many others from work were out getting new duds as well, as we are getting our photos taken professionally on Wednesday, lol…

Tavin and Crystal both brought me things to try on and both of them have very good taste…

we stopped for lunch and then headed to St. James where we found a few other items…

when the kids left, Tavin stayed with me for a sleepover…  we are getting picked up at 10:30 tomorrow morning to go to The Gates for brunch to celebrate Crystal’s birthday (on Monday)…

we’ve watched TV, a movie, scarfed down popcorn, and have just come in for a lovely hot tub… the stars were bright and we could hear the hockey sticks hitting the pucks over at the community club…  Tavin particularly liked how we could see the stars and lights from the planes…

now we have picked a picture of him with Grandpa in the hot tub and he is just about ready for bed, as am I…

April 2011 fun in the hot tub...

April 2011 fun in the hot tub…

we talk about Grandpa a lot, and were both wishing Grandpa would have been with us in Mexico and what fun he would have had…

clean bill of health…

15 Friday Mar 2013

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yesterday I had an appointment at CancerCare for a check-up… last time we were there the wait was over two hours… this time we were in a room within 20 minutes of arriving… waited for quite a while in the room before seeing the doctor… it is hard to feel peeved when you know that they could be giving someone devastating news or have been in an operating room saving someone’s life…

after the check-up the doctor advised that everything was fine and they would see me in six months…  they were pleased that I can no longer feel the mesh that was part of the hernia surgery, as many people feel it for a very long time… I had asked if I could have the check-ups with my GP instead of using up the space in the CancerCare system but was advised that it made more sense for them to see me, at least for the first two years…

made me think back to the few days that I was in hospital in July when I had my surgery… it was just four months after George’s death and two months since discovering the cancer… my time in the hospital was a roller coaster of bad reactions to pain meds and happiness that I had actually survived the surgery as well as huge sadness that George wasn’t there to look after me…

frst night at the hospital...

I have been wearing those big girl pants a lot since then…  when I think back I realize how I have grown in these months…

I think of my beloved every day and the impact of his loss on my grandchildren, my children and me…

and then I remember all the special moments in our lives…

George and Tavin...

George and Tavin…

fun times…

14 Thursday Mar 2013

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just had a lovely evening out with some of my colleagues…

we started the fun at In Ferno’s on Academy where we shared a few appetizers and particularly liked the butternut squash on crostini… yum…

butternut squash crostini with sage and balsamic reduction...

butternut squash crostini with sage and balsamic reduction…

then we headed next door to Redeemed, where we had the store to ourselves with the complete attention of Allyson who treated us royally, with snacks and great stories…

searching for treasure...

searching for treasure…

after lots of laughter, snacks and much changing, we all headed home with some special item…

found the treasure...

found the treasure…

what a lovely way to spend an evening… and what a great group to do it with…

seeing…

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

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had to rush home after work, jump in the car and head off to an appointment with a new eye doctor … those darn big girl pants…

I had decided to change my eye doctor after my last visit when my eye prescription wasn’t done correctly and was only caught when my contact lens person realized that something was missing…

this young man is quite wonderful… the office had all the newest equipment, as well as some that was likely close to a hundred years old… he knew his stuff and explained as he went including things that I should have known before, but hadn’t…

I’ve been having some trouble with my eyes since sometime in December and had gone to see my GP, who referred me to a specialist, who has prescribed pills and ointment for my eye… the infection still hasn’t cleared up and my vision seems to have gotten a bit worse so I was a bit worried about it all…

much as I had thought, it appears that the ointment is causing the blurring that I’ve been experiencing so that was good news… as well as the news that my eyes are in very good condition… yay…

when I was about 9 or so I got my first pair of glasses… I can remember walking out of the shop and seeing leaves on the trees… before that, they had been a mass of green…

I haven’t been able to wear my contacts for the last few months but am looking forward to being able to use them once the infection is gone, although it has been stubborn…

sometimes it is easy to forget the little things that make our life easy… such as glasses and good eyesight…

taken with my iPhone shows how deep the snow is...

taken with my iPhone in the evening – shows how deep the snow was…

made me think about my recent afternoon with the boys and how they changed the pristine snow covered landscape in the backyard to a very lived in space…

actively used garden...

actively used garden…

heron, nearly run over...

heron, nearly run over…

seeing is a wonderful thing…

friends…

12 Tuesday Mar 2013

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watched a small portion of Katie when I got home from work tonight before heading out to aquasize…

it was about a book titled – Saturday Night Widows… by a woman who attended a support group after her husband died and was told by the facilitator that she really didn’t fit in and shouldn’t come to the group again… she was looking for women who wanted to move forward, not just look back… she started a group with other women who were widowed and apparently the rest is history – or a book, lol…

in the interview with Katie Couric they talked about how important friends are when something devastating like the death of a partner happens…

made me think of my groups of women friends and how we have been there for each other over the years… without them these last twelve months would have been so much more difficult…

we had our first BS gathering on Monday with one of us connecting via Skype as she has moved to Regina for a contract…  there were only two of us here, but it was great to connect and see some of her surroundings…

the hands of the women who know my heart...

the hands of women who know my heart…

friendship is such a gift…

 

the kettle…

11 Monday Mar 2013

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yesterday when I was making my morning tea, looking at the kettle reminded me of when it came into my life…

my friend, Dobby, was here to take care of me after my cancer/hernia surgery in July… she did a wonderful job of tempting me to eat with lovely snacks and drinks throughout the day… she cleaned and tidied, organized my fridge and freezer so that when she left I would have food to eat, and we figured out how I could get water to drink…

the deal was that I wasn’t to lift anything over 5 pounds for 6 weeks…  five pounds isn’t very much and I was being on the careful side because I didn’t want any complications which might slow down my recovery which was slated to be about 10 weeks…

once I was able to move around a bit Dobby would help me onto the deck where I would sit for a while and have some delectable tidbit she had created… just sitting there would raise my feeling of well being and helped with the healing… every day I sat out longer and eventually could take the steps down to the garden where I would sit and soak up the peace and beauty…

before she left, she went on a quest to find a kettle that wasn’t too heavy so that I could make tea, and this is the one she found…

my perfect little electric kettle...

my perfect little electric kettle…

it is perfect, because it fills my carafe exactly… my other kettle was beautiful, but held about twice the water that was needed and so was also that much heavier…

my tea carafe...

my tea carafe…

really, how would I have managed without such good friends…  they are such a gift…

 

 

 

pills…

10 Sunday Mar 2013

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amazingly, this is my one hundredth blog post…

the counting thing reminded me of my morning routine, BGG (before George gone)…

I would get up, put the kettle on for tea and set out George’s pills…  we had these cute little pottery containers that his morning and evening pills would go into…  this was to be sure we/he didn’t forget to take them…

now, my morning routine is to get out my pills, take them and then make something for my breakfast, usually a smoothie, before heading out the door to work… I only put the kettle on and make tea on weekends…

little things, but quite the change…

and Sunday mornings we nearly always went out for breakfast… our two favourite spots were the “A” (Assiniboine Gordon Inn on the Park)

family breakfast at the "A"...

family breakfast at the “A”…

and The Park Cafe in the Qualico Family Centre at Assiniboine Park…

The Park Cafe...

The Park Cafe in the Qualico Family Centre…

both of these spots are a short drive/walk from home…  usually I would walk over and meet George there, and after breakfast, depending on the weather, we would take a walk through the English Gardens, or drive through the park…

often the kids would meet up with us…

breakfast at The Park Cafe...

breakfast at The Park Cafe…

I miss going out for breakfast…

currently I am taking an antibiotic with my evening meal… haven’t been doing such a great job of my dinners lately… need to get back to being organized so that there is something ready to make when I get home from work…

but Sunday dinner is always organized… tonight we are having country-style spare ribs, with little potatoes, asparagus and a salad… even have something for dessert…

looks like it is going to be a lovely day, the sun is shining and it is only -14…

holding hands…

09 Saturday Mar 2013

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saw a Facebook post that suggested holding hands with your sweetie… brought tears to my eyes…

reminded me of one of the things that I miss the most…  holding hands…

George and the boys...

George and the boys…

we held hands whenever we were out… walking into the store from the car, taking a walk in the park, on our way to the mall, walking down the sidewalk… even sitting beside one another in the house… 

sometimes the little boys will hold my hand…

used to make the girls gag when they were young, then as they got older, they thought it was cute…

he was the love of my life and I miss him and his hand…

holding hands...

holding hands…

quite the week…

08 Friday Mar 2013

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on our way home tonight the traffic was fairly heavy and as we came close to a large shopping mall I was telling my colleague about how there had been a vehicle stuck in the middle of the road, last Tuesday when I was coming home with my kids…

it was at that point that I realized it was just this Tuesday, the anniversary of George’s death, which felt like it had been weeks ago, not just three days ago…

I was shocked…

one of the last pictures I took before George died...

one of the last pictures I took before George died…

it really pointed out to me what a week it has been… Monday night with my BS friends, Tuesday the actual anniversary, Wednesday a staff meeting and running around to pick up items for the next day, Thursday a special event at work, and today a visit to the Legislature to celebrate International Women’s Day…

it really feels like it was ages ago… amazing how our body gets us through some of these things… I have been wearing those big girl pants all week without even realizing it…

no wonder that I was tired as the end of today approached… I have been numb…

I’ve been thinking that although the anniversary was very difficult to get through, it was much, much easier than the happenings of last year…

my beloved...

my beloved…

I have survived the loss of my beloved…