good conversations…

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had three interesting conversations today…

the first one was with someone about a friend needing a quadruple bypass… it reminded me of George’s triple bypass in December of 2008…

it was a crazy time, following a couple of test results which led up to the bypass… the waiting was the worst, wondering if his already damaged heart would start to beat again once they were done with the surgery…

walking the halls of St. Boniface...

walking the halls of St. Boniface…

he came through with flying colours… in fact the doctor said his recovery was textbook perfect… within a few days he was home taking longer and longer walks and feeling so much better now that the blood was flowing freely through his heart… the worst part for him was the scar on his leg where they took the veins to use on his heart… for the longest time it caused him discomfort… he had a great time with his boy friends who would meet for walks and Tim’s coffee, well, tea for him…

those days reminded us to enjoy every minute that we had because time was a gift…

a wonderful day at the Kingfisher just outside of Courtenay, BC...

a wonderful day at the Kingfisher just outside of Courtenay, BC…

the second conversation was with a woman whose husband died last April… we were comparing feelings and the struggles we’ve been going through… both of us missing our husbands and wondering when things will settle down to some type of normalcy…  some women have told me they are just surfacing at the five year point…

the third conversation was with a young friend while we enjoyed a hot tub… we were sharing family stories and it made me realize, once again, how much we are all alike even though we often think we are special, lol…

a lovely day, to have three such excellent opportunities to remember what a blessing time with loved ones is…

 

Revisiting Mexico…

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had an enjoyable time over lunch today, finishing up the journal notes I made while in Mexico…

it was lovely to remember the various activities and fun we had…

at Gray’s party yesterday, folks were having a look through the Dolphin book that we purchased, and it was great fun to compare experiences, as a number of them had been to Mexico…

our plan is to produce a hard cover book with some of the 3300 pictures and comments we have written…  I want to get working on this before we forget all the wonderful moments…

I think this picture sums up my vacation…  laughing and trying new things…

dolphin kissing me while I laughed...

dolphin kissing me while I laughed…

 

Birthday party…

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today was Gray’s birthday party…

couldn’t catch a ride with anyone so drove myself there and back…  doesn’t seem like that big a deal, but I needed those big girl pants…  first time I have gone over there, in the car for a birthday party, without George…

amazing how I was missing him today…  I have pulled a muscle in my arm and some movements really make it hurt…  I haven’t been doing lots of driving so was a bit worried about my reaction time if there were any problems…

on the way there I watched a truck back up at a light and just about hit a woman who was walking behind it…  a little further on the car in front of me stopped quite suddenly and I skidded on a patch of ice when I put on my brakes…  need to remember to pump them…

so, I wasn’t looking forward to the drive home in the dark…

examining one of the many presents...

examining one of the many presents…

the birthday party was great…  there were lots of people, presents, food, cake and cupcakes…

lots of yummy food...

lots of yummy food…

when the cake was cut, I headed out…  the drive wasn’t too bad, although I was gripping the steering wheel rather nicely, lol…  both the car and I were happy to drive into the garage…

cake and cupcakes...

cake and cupcakes…

had something to eat, watched some TV and am now heading to bed early… been a long day…

time flies…

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today my youngest grandson turned 4…

gobbling up lunch after zip lining at XPLOR...

gobbling up lunch after zip lining at XPLOR…

the time has flown by… we have had a number of upheavals in our lives since his birth… job changes, illnesses, death…

it was a waiting game for his birth… he was two weeks early… but we still waited for him to be born…

What a cute little bundle he was..

What a cute little bundle he was..

I was looking through all the pictures of his birth and came across this one of the first time that George held him…

he's named after George's mom...

he’s named after George’s mom and Jeff’s Opa…

lots of fun times together as a family at Christmas time and visits from Auntie Cyndi and Uncle Ron… our amazing trip to Mexico…

first time Kyler got to see him...

first time Kyler got to see him…

although we have gone through some things, we have also been truly blessed…

It’s cold out there…

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hot tubweather has been very cold…  so cold that I’ve hardly been out to the hot tub…  I miss going out and watching the stars move through the sky as I reflect on my day, week, month, year, life…

there is something special about sitting in the dark and contemplating life… when you are with another person you often share the deepest parts of yourself in the dark… seems like there is safety in the cocoon of night…

a lovely moonlit night at the Park...

a lovely moonlit night at the Park…

so many special times have happened in the car on trips when the kids would share something precious with us…

I miss that connection these days but also spend some time conversing with George in my head…  I was just saying to a friend that I miss that comraderie of sharing most…

well, as long as I don’t start talking out loud to myself when I’m in the hot tub…

February…

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February is coming fast, and with it Valentine’s Day…

we’ve always made a production about Valentine’s Day in our house…

when the girls were little I would always bake special event cookies or other treats for their classmates, and supper would invariably be on the theme… and that tradition has continued over the years…

card with chocolate and candy...

card with chocolate and candy…

George made Valentine’s Day extra special for us as the girls got older… he always made sure to get them each a rose, whether they had a boyfriend/husband who might do that or not…

last year he remembered a particular jacket that I had been eyeing and it, along with roses and chocolates, awaited me when I got up on Valentine’s Day…

Valentine rose...

Valentine rose…

I hadn’t really noticed the hype that goes on before Valentine’s Day, but this year is different…  every time I turn around I see an ad or hear a commercial all about doing something special for your sweetie… Groupon, Teambuy and others have been suggesting things to buy for Valentine’s Day since mid January… Pinterest has been showing DIY projects since about that time as well…  TV and radio are all on the same bandwagon as well…

Valentine rose...

Valentine rose…

my beloved was the love of my life and I miss him… I am still thinking about how I will remember this year..

Life changing events…

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had a few conversations today about a couple of life changing events that I have experienced… besides the loss of parents and other loved ones there have been three – one in my thirties, one in my fifties and this most recent one, in my sixties…

the conversations reminded me of one in particular…   the first conversation this morning was about coffee/tea mugs and how much better certain ones make the beverage taste… brought back memories of leaving mugs behind when leaving a position…  the second conversation was about stepping out of a not-so-good situation and being open to possibilities…  interesting that both conversations took place today…

recently I have been thinking a bit about the change in my career which took place shortly after the birth of my youngest grandson… his 4th birthday is on Saturday…

I think the point for me has been, that, although the events were very difficult to deal with at the time, and really did change the direction that I and my family took, they all helped me grow and move into a better place…

sometimes it is easier to stay in a bad situation rather than step out of it and see what else is available…

I have learned that I am strong and can handle adversity… I am not framed by what was, but by who I am at this moment in time… I know that my beloved would be very proud of how I have weathered this most recent event…

difficult as each of these events has been, I would not change the outcomes… I have made lifelong friends, I have discovered what excellent skills I possess in the workplace, and I have learned and am still learning to manage on my own… I continue to see beauty all around me…

beauty is everywhere..

beauty is everywhere – you just have to open your eyes…

pretty amazing really…

Stacks of paper…

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being organized is easy for me at work, but a bit more difficult at home…

since George’s death I have received mounds of paper…  I organized files for all the different topics: CPP, life insurance, creditors, his work, funeral home, etc…

stacks of paper...

stacks of paper…

the pile was rather tall, but proved very helpful when I would contact or hear back from any of the people/organizations with regard to the various things that had to be done…

I maintained the files very well while I needed them, but am realizing that they are currently stacked up on the desk and haven’t been filed yet… oh well, maybe on the weekend I can tackle that desk…

I am still trying to find a good system to deal with the bills and other important info that comes in the mail…

really need to work at filing things that need to be saved right away…

My financial closet…

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had a late meeting, so got a few extra hours at home this morning…

clothes to take to Mexico...

clothes to take to Mexico…

saw a little piece on TV by the Golden Girl Finance women about comparing your finances to your closet…  it was very cute and reminded me of some of the things George and I had done to ensure our financial well-being…

George had life insurance from the time he was about 15 and both of us understood the important of insurance… when my parents were newly married their home burned to the ground and they got out with the clothes on their backs and the blanket they had wrapped my brother in…

at one point in our life we had to cancel one of the policies because we were in a very poor financial situation but he maintained his remaining policies…  we also carried insurance on our credit cards and line of credit and thanks to that I was able to wipe out any debt we had, which has made going forward much easier for me now that there is only one income…

I learned that I should have started claiming CPP as soon as I turned 60, even though I was still working… luckily I was able to rectify that…

dealing with government departments, like CPP, can be very stressful…  what I learned over time is that if you aren’t getting the right answers from the person you are speaking with, it might be a good idea to call again and see what another person’s response might be… if you can get someone interested in you, it feels as though they try harder to sort out your issues…

perseverance was something I also learned about… to me it felt as though the forms, roadblocks, and lack of interest were an attempt to have me give up and not collect what was rightfully mine…

thankfully I have sufficient income to remain in my home as I move forward but I have had to wear those big girl pants quite a bit over these last ten months…

Be prepared…

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was busy today putting away Christmas decorations and cleaning the house…

I also talked with a friend about some of my experiences since George died, and how that was the reason I began to blog – so that I could share some of the things that happened to me… and hopefully save someone else from going through unnecessary problems…

I was reminded of my preparations for my cancer and hernia surgery… making sure that the insurance money that came to me was in an easy-to-get-at place in case I didn’t survive the operation… having a new will, power of attorney, and health directive prepared, and getting all my papers in order in case my kids needed to sort out my stuff…

we had thought that all of our information was in one place and that we were prepared should something happen to one of us, but I realized quickly that we weren’t… it took me ages to find George’s handwritten will, and then the Credit Union made noises about how they might not accept it… of course they did, once it went to their legal department… I think the young people in the office hadn’t ever seen a handwritten will before…

remember...

remember…

I remember how, for many weeks following my diagnosis, I wasn’t able to get my head past the surgery, and expected to die on the table…  it was really only a week or so before the actual hospitalization that I began to imagine that I would survive the surgery and move on with my life…

I was reminded how quickly the actual insurance companies responded, once I completed their documentation, but how long some of the other organizations took, including CPP to accept the claim and send the appropriate funds…

some days it feels like that was years ago, and other days, like it was just yesterday…

I have suggested to all my friends that they have the conversations with their loved ones about where all the necessary information is, what each person would like regarding organ, skin, eye donations, funeral wishes, etc. sooner, rather than later…

knowing that information makes walking through the necessary steps when someone dies much easier…

give someone you love a big hug today… you never know when you will be able to give them another one…