this morning I went out for a hot tub… it was -30C with the wind chill, but toasty warm in the tub…  I had a little trouble getting in because one of the straps on the cover had frozen to the side (against the house where it is very difficult to reach)…

before I had to put my big girl pants on, I would have stepped back into the house and called George, who would have come and figured out how to fix the problem…  now, without him, I have to sort things out myself…  very clever this morning, I got some hot water and ran it over the strap and voila, I could open the tub…

the trees are gorgeous this morning as we’ve had snow fall over the last few days…  the sky is a beautiful blue and the sun is bright… surprisingly there were no visitors to the feeder…

as I was sitting enjoying the beauty in the garden – from the tub I can see the snow covered pond with the stone and wire heron, the six cedars that stand as sentinels along the back lane and the bird feeder by the garage – memories flooded in…

I remember many times when George and I would sit in the tub, enjoying our lovely garden and talking about all kinds of things – big and little…  I miss that a lot, but I am also glad that he isn’t busy watching every little thing that went into his mouth and feeling deprived that he could no longer smoke or drink…

lucky for me, the good times rise to the top of the list when I remember… digging the spot out for the big pond, and trying to get it level… oh my, getting things level was often something that could cause a little hissy fit…changing the flower beds – how he worked around the clock, when our dear friend and neighbour Ellen died, to get the bed beside the garage raised and planted, with a bench along the top for sitting so that the garden would be at its best for a small celebration of her life…

I still get the odd flashback… stepping into the hospital room to discover he was dead without anyone preparing me beforehand, that is a rough one…  but then I think about the outpouring of love and care that quickly surrounded me as my family, friends and colleagues came to provide support…

I don’t dwell on the sad remembrances… life is too short and the life I have is quite amazingly wonderful… a close family, a home, work that I love, and my health…

that’s  what I choose to remember…