Tags
18 months, beloved left me, big girl pants, George-size hole, hot tub, life is good, married, satellites, widow
I was married for 41 years and 7 months (15,193 days)…
I have been a widow, for 18 months (548 days)…
sometimes it feels like they are equally long…
the last few weeks have been difficult and it wasn’t until midway through last week that I realized it was coming up to a year and a half since my beloved left me behind…
last night I made a dish that I first made just after we were married… it had fish, rice, mushroom soup and whatever vegetable was around and I made it fairly often as my repertoire of recipes wasn’t very big…
he ate that meal on and off for 30 years before finally telling me it wasn’t his favourite… made me laugh as I was eating it last night…
as I sat in the hot tub later and looked up at the stars I saw a satellite along with 4 planes and remembered how he would always spot them before me and then have to point them out carefully so that I would see them…
my life is good, and I am getting used to the big girl pants, but some days I just really miss him…
I remember someone years ago talking about a Godde-sized hole inside them… I have a George-size hole… I imagine it will grow smaller, but don’t expect that it will ever be completely gone…

