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Author Archives: sulis303

It’s cold out there…

01 Friday Feb 2013

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cold weather, hot tub, precious moments, reflect, sitting in the dark, stars move across the sky

hot tubweather has been very cold…  so cold that I’ve hardly been out to the hot tub…  I miss going out and watching the stars move through the sky as I reflect on my day, week, month, year, life…

there is something special about sitting in the dark and contemplating life… when you are with another person you often share the deepest parts of yourself in the dark… seems like there is safety in the cocoon of night…

a lovely moonlit night at the Park...

a lovely moonlit night at the Park…

so many special times have happened in the car on trips when the kids would share something precious with us…

I miss that connection these days but also spend some time conversing with George in my head…  I was just saying to a friend that I miss that comraderie of sharing most…

well, as long as I don’t start talking out loud to myself when I’m in the hot tub…

February…

31 Thursday Jan 2013

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beloved, extra special, hype, love of my life, roses and chocolates, tradition, Valentine's Day

February is coming fast, and with it Valentine’s Day…

we’ve always made a production about Valentine’s Day in our house…

when the girls were little I would always bake special event cookies or other treats for their classmates, and supper would invariably be on the theme… and that tradition has continued over the years…

card with chocolate and candy...

card with chocolate and candy…

George made Valentine’s Day extra special for us as the girls got older… he always made sure to get them each a rose, whether they had a boyfriend/husband who might do that or not…

last year he remembered a particular jacket that I had been eyeing and it, along with roses and chocolates, awaited me when I got up on Valentine’s Day…

Valentine rose...

Valentine rose…

I hadn’t really noticed the hype that goes on before Valentine’s Day, but this year is different…  every time I turn around I see an ad or hear a commercial all about doing something special for your sweetie… Groupon, Teambuy and others have been suggesting things to buy for Valentine’s Day since mid January… Pinterest has been showing DIY projects since about that time as well…  TV and radio are all on the same bandwagon as well…

Valentine rose...

Valentine rose…

my beloved was the love of my life and I miss him… I am still thinking about how I will remember this year..

Life changing events…

30 Wednesday Jan 2013

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beloved, career, coffee/tea mugs, conversations, grow, I am strong, life changing events, lifelong friendships, outcomes, pretty amazing, see beauty all around me, step out

had a few conversations today about a couple of life changing events that I have experienced… besides the loss of parents and other loved ones there have been three – one in my thirties, one in my fifties and this most recent one, in my sixties…

the conversations reminded me of one in particular…   the first conversation this morning was about coffee/tea mugs and how much better certain ones make the beverage taste… brought back memories of leaving mugs behind when leaving a position…  the second conversation was about stepping out of a not-so-good situation and being open to possibilities…  interesting that both conversations took place today…

recently I have been thinking a bit about the change in my career which took place shortly after the birth of my youngest grandson… his 4th birthday is on Saturday…

I think the point for me has been, that, although the events were very difficult to deal with at the time, and really did change the direction that I and my family took, they all helped me grow and move into a better place…

sometimes it is easier to stay in a bad situation rather than step out of it and see what else is available…

I have learned that I am strong and can handle adversity… I am not framed by what was, but by who I am at this moment in time… I know that my beloved would be very proud of how I have weathered this most recent event…

difficult as each of these events has been, I would not change the outcomes… I have made lifelong friends, I have discovered what excellent skills I possess in the workplace, and I have learned and am still learning to manage on my own… I continue to see beauty all around me…

beauty is everywhere..

beauty is everywhere – you just have to open your eyes…

pretty amazing really…

Stacks of paper…

29 Tuesday Jan 2013

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maintained files, organized, paper, system

being organized is easy for me at work, but a bit more difficult at home…

since George’s death I have received mounds of paper…  I organized files for all the different topics: CPP, life insurance, creditors, his work, funeral home, etc…

stacks of paper...

stacks of paper…

the pile was rather tall, but proved very helpful when I would contact or hear back from any of the people/organizations with regard to the various things that had to be done…

I maintained the files very well while I needed them, but am realizing that they are currently stacked up on the desk and haven’t been filed yet… oh well, maybe on the weekend I can tackle that desk…

I am still trying to find a good system to deal with the bills and other important info that comes in the mail…

really need to work at filing things that need to be saved right away…

My financial closet…

28 Monday Jan 2013

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big girl pants, closet, CPP, credit card insurance, debt, financial well being, government departments, life insurance, perseverance

had a late meeting, so got a few extra hours at home this morning…

clothes to take to Mexico...

clothes to take to Mexico…

saw a little piece on TV by the Golden Girl Finance women about comparing your finances to your closet…  it was very cute and reminded me of some of the things George and I had done to ensure our financial well-being…

George had life insurance from the time he was about 15 and both of us understood the important of insurance… when my parents were newly married their home burned to the ground and they got out with the clothes on their backs and the blanket they had wrapped my brother in…

at one point in our life we had to cancel one of the policies because we were in a very poor financial situation but he maintained his remaining policies…  we also carried insurance on our credit cards and line of credit and thanks to that I was able to wipe out any debt we had, which has made going forward much easier for me now that there is only one income…

I learned that I should have started claiming CPP as soon as I turned 60, even though I was still working… luckily I was able to rectify that…

dealing with government departments, like CPP, can be very stressful…  what I learned over time is that if you aren’t getting the right answers from the person you are speaking with, it might be a good idea to call again and see what another person’s response might be… if you can get someone interested in you, it feels as though they try harder to sort out your issues…

perseverance was something I also learned about… to me it felt as though the forms, roadblocks, and lack of interest were an attempt to have me give up and not collect what was rightfully mine…

thankfully I have sufficient income to remain in my home as I move forward but I have had to wear those big girl pants quite a bit over these last ten months…

Be prepared…

27 Sunday Jan 2013

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die, funeral wishes, handwritten will, have the conversations, hug someone, organ donations, prepared

was busy today putting away Christmas decorations and cleaning the house…

I also talked with a friend about some of my experiences since George died, and how that was the reason I began to blog – so that I could share some of the things that happened to me… and hopefully save someone else from going through unnecessary problems…

I was reminded of my preparations for my cancer and hernia surgery… making sure that the insurance money that came to me was in an easy-to-get-at place in case I didn’t survive the operation… having a new will, power of attorney, and health directive prepared, and getting all my papers in order in case my kids needed to sort out my stuff…

we had thought that all of our information was in one place and that we were prepared should something happen to one of us, but I realized quickly that we weren’t… it took me ages to find George’s handwritten will, and then the Credit Union made noises about how they might not accept it… of course they did, once it went to their legal department… I think the young people in the office hadn’t ever seen a handwritten will before…

remember...

remember…

I remember how, for many weeks following my diagnosis, I wasn’t able to get my head past the surgery, and expected to die on the table…  it was really only a week or so before the actual hospitalization that I began to imagine that I would survive the surgery and move on with my life…

I was reminded how quickly the actual insurance companies responded, once I completed their documentation, but how long some of the other organizations took, including CPP to accept the claim and send the appropriate funds…

some days it feels like that was years ago, and other days, like it was just yesterday…

I have suggested to all my friends that they have the conversations with their loved ones about where all the necessary information is, what each person would like regarding organ, skin, eye donations, funeral wishes, etc. sooner, rather than later…

knowing that information makes walking through the necessary steps when someone dies much easier…

give someone you love a big hug today… you never know when you will be able to give them another one…

 

 

Watching over me…

26 Saturday Jan 2013

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feel better, watching over me

as I was writing my blog post this morning, still feeling a bit down, George’s face came up twice on the Kodak Pulse electronic frame… it was a picture of him lying beside me, smiling, on the bed, that I had taken just a short time before his death…

the frame has some system of shuffling pictures and sometimes I won’t see a particular picture for a very long time, and another time it will come up two or three times in a short period…

I know its silly, but when his face comes up in the same photo close together I always feel better because I think he is letting me know that he’s still with me…

smiling as I was taking his picture...

smiling as I was taking his picture…

tonight, as I was finishing the post, he popped up again…

Beauty wherever you are…

26 Saturday Jan 2013

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beauty, blessing, end-of-day chats, missing, sorry for myself, take the time, Technology, tinged with sadness, trees, winter wonderland, wouldn't cooperate

last week on Saturday I was up early enjoying the beauty of the tropical setting… beautiful palm trees, lush vegetation with lots of blooming flowers, tropical breezes… it was amazing…

outside my room a week ago...

outside my room a week ago…

this morning as I sit here I am looking out on a winter wonderland… the ground is a pure white, the trees are outlined in snow and the sun is rising behind me… truly a gorgeous morning…

trees outlined with snow...

trees outlined with snow…

what a blessing to have the opportunity to enjoy such diverse sights…

it always amazes me how beauty is usually out there, but we don’t always take the time to see it…

last night it was an effort to get ready for a hot tub and when I got out there it was beautiful… there was a fresh skiff of snow over everything so as I walked to the hot tub in my slippers I had to be careful not to step too fast and get snow in them and I left a lovely trail of prints in the snow… the top of the tub was covered in snow as well and looked pristine…

then I tried to open the cover… and it wouldn’t cooperate…  it was too cold to run in and get some water to melt the frozen strap, so I came back in and went to bed, lol…

to and from the hot tub, but not in it...

to and from the hot tub, but not in it…

the funny thing is that I had been feeling a bit sorry for myself before I went out, missing George… I was particularly missing the end-of-the-day chats where we would share how the day had gone… I had wanted to tell him about my experience at work trying to show my colleagues a slide show of the vacation highlights… he would have laughed about the fact that I couldn’t get one of the computers to show the pictures without distorting them and how we ended up huddled around my desktop checking them out… and he would have enjoyed the story about the special treat that a colleague brought in for me…  I thought I was over missing that particular piece of our life, but apparently it will continue to come and go…

cedars in their snow outfits...

cedars in their snow outfits…

I continue to see the beauty around me, even when in some moments it is tinged with a little sadness…

Music, music, music…

24 Thursday Jan 2013

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band concert, blessed, music, wave of sadness, wonderful adventure

attended a lovely band concert tonight…

first band performance...

first band performance…

I took a number of pictures and in the process, a wave of sadness came over me as I thought of how much George loved attending the kids concerts…  some of the pictures are quite fuzzy as I was trying to get my equilibrium back…

once I got home I spent a few hours getting the 3000 plus pictures we took in Mexico down to a reasonable couple of hundred for a slide show of our wonderful adventure…

life is full and I continue to be blessed…

sunset on the plane ride home...

sunset on the plane ride home…

Back to work…

23 Wednesday Jan 2013

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Cancun airport, early, finding gate, headed home, Johnny Rockets, limo, no water, SunWing, waiting

happy to get back to work today…

was sharing with one of my colleagues about our trip home…

it started out with our being at the main lobby of the resort waiting for our bus at 6:40 instead of 7:20 am…  so we got to sit around a visit a bit…  once we got to the airport, we had a problem with the airline person not understanding what we were checking for the flight and what was carry-on… then we breezed through security and had breakfast at Johnny Rockets… it was about this point that we discovered that there was no water in any of the washrooms in the airport… our flight wasn’t for another couple of hours…

waiting, for a place to sit, washrooms and the correct gate...

waiting, for a place to sit, washrooms and the correct gate…

we had been directed to one gate, but after waiting there for quite a while discovered it wasn’t the correct one, so after speaking with SunWing staff at another gate, moved to a third gate and eventually that was the one we left from… we were really glad to get on that plane, which was late…

when we arrived in Winnipeg we were very happy, and again went through Customs with no problem, found our limo and headed home…

all pretty humorous now, lol…

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold delicious dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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