the depths…

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

tonight I stopped and picked up some fish and chips, which I have been craving for weeks… didn’t even put away my things when I got home… it was delicious…

have been really down for a while and it wasn’t until tonight when a friend called that I realized what the problem was…

another friend is turning 65 on Friday and tonight their family were having a come-and-go to celebrate…

when the invitation arrived I faced the fact that George would have been 65 last December… it didn’t mean much at the time, but this celebration kind of kicked me in the gut… don’t get me wrong, I’m glad our friend is having a great special birthday, but I’ve been stuck in my own pain…

we were invited to add a note to an online card and include a picture of our family… didn’t know what to do about that either… should the picture be of my family now or what my family used to be… In the end I sent a picture of our group… that seemed to take care of the request, but I am still trying to figure out who my family is…

20140402-211358.jpg things seem so mixed up right now… April second and the garden is filled with snow… I remember the year George died and how we were out working in the garden raking the grass in the middle of March, just a few weeks after…

apparently, you never know what will bring on the pain… as another friend said, likely I will have days like this for the rest of my life… hopefully they will come less often as time goes by…

sorting…

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , ,

in the process of decluttering, I came across some sheet music books and the lovely recipe book from our cruise last May/June…

took them to work to share with my colleagues… always easier to let something go if you know it will have a good home…

reminded me of what a great time we had on the cruise and all the new experiences and fun we had…

just heard about my income taxes and I only owe a few hundred dollars this year… much less than last year when we had to file for George as well…

missing my beloved so much… some days it feels as though the pain is more than I can handle…

20140401-212243.jpg

20140401-212305.jpg
need to focus on the positives… like the fact that I actually finished the hallway shelves…

Junos…

30 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

well, just got home from the Junos at the MTS Centre downtown…

20140330-231807.jpg
there were a lot of people there…

we arrived about twenty minutes before it started and it was easy to get in…

it was great fun to be part of the “behind the scenes” action… to see what happens while the commercials are on… to see the cameras and teleprompters, the people running around after each act, mopping down the floors to be sure they were safe for everyone…

the Jennifer Jones team got a standing ovation when they were announced as presenters… Chris Hadfield was cool and also got an ovation… he sang a few lines of a BTO song before he introduced them…

many performers there whose music I knew, mainly from my driving in the car and listening to the radio…

the finale with a couple of younger bands joining BTO on the stage for Taking Care of Business was a great ending…

then we just had to get out through all the people, but the girls made sure we made it safely… even though we waited a bit, there were big crowds going the same direction as we were…

a memory to add to my collection…

20140330-232957.jpg

pictures…

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

this afternoon I was finishing up the hall bookshelves and spent a few minutes going through a photo album because some pictures were falling out of it…

came across a picture of my mom and dad with my brother and I…

20140329-192711.jpg I have that bracelet somewhere around here…

my dad died in the late 80s and mom a year later… my brother a few years after that… I was amazed how mad I was when he died… we hadn’t been close and I hadn’t talked to him for years before that… but once he died I felt like an orphan… even though we hadn’t been connected, I still felt like there was a part of my family out there… took a while to get over that…

a little further along in the album I came across a photo of our family…

20140329-194420.jpg

it was interesting that I found these pictures today… just this morning I made myself some peach apricot tea, it was one of our favourites and very hard to find… I had picked it up at McLeod House in Stonewall…

I made the tea in a pot that the kids’ bought me, with a cozy that a friend had felted for me… all of which made me feel that I was surrounded with love…

good feeling…

next door…

28 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

tonight as I walked up the driveway the neighbour’s dog had his head over the fence barking at me… the fence is about six feet high but there is so much snow on the ground that he could look over and see me…

they’ve only had him for about six months and he’s certainly grown by leaps and bounds in that time… sadly he has learned to bark…

when I look out my bedroom window I can see into their backyard… it is filled with paths that the dog has made and tons of dog doodoo all over…

made me think of my grandsons and the job of cleaning up after their two dogs… doing the cleaning up on a regular basis has been difficult for both of the older boys as they have had the job…

then of course, there is so much to pick up that they get frustrated, or leave it till spring when it turns all soft and mushy… there are often tears when clean-up actually happens…

my backyard looks rather pristine… even with the bunny visiting on a regular basis…

20140328-210021.jpg

hot tub…

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

last night I spent some time in the hot tub…

was thinking about the conversations that George and I used to have there late in the evening, in the dark…

we’d talk about work, the house, the kids, everything…

went through the day missing him… we had a few jobs at the office that he would have helped sort out…

had problems with some technology during the day and this evening as well…

feel a bit like spring will never come… reminded me of a card I received from a former colleague, a number of years ago… came across it when I was working on the shelves in the hall… it mentioned that spring always comes…

trying to hold onto that… need to get some more flowers I think… they often help…

these crocuses have all died off now…

20140327-214559.jpg

technology…

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

this morning my son-in-law sent me information on a possible new computer… looks like a giant iPad type of machine…

20140325-210248.jpg
looks interesting… my laptop is an Acer and I’ve been happy with it… till it’s recent hacking scenario…

while I wait to get my laptop back I have one from my nephew, but may have injured it, so I still don’t have access to a laptop, lol…

but I’m not always eager to buy the first design of something, just in case there are any bugs…

mid afternoon I was handed an iPad for the front desk which clients will use to complete paperwork…

really worried that I am going to end up buying one for myself… have been thinking about it for quite a while, but haven’t had an opportunity to play with one…

and do I want the really large one or the smaller easier to travel one…

I do love technology…

what to do, what to do…

holy…

24 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

didn’t go into work until ten this morning, since we had a meeting until six…

as I was heading down the stairs I saw my bunny friend in the backyard, and took a few moments to just soak up the view…

20140324-224227.jpg see tracks all the time but not the bunny… seems to have grown quite a bit bigger… can’t tell if it is fluffed up fur or just a big bunny…

you can also see the waterfall rock in this picture as the sun melts the snow, even when the temperature is rather chilly…

tonight four of us met for our BS group… we even did some bible study, lol… can’t think of the last time we did that… focused on opening eyes and seeing… finding the holy in the world around us…

always great to spend time with these wise women…