a friend lost her mom… it was shocking and awful… didn’t matter that she was in her nineties…

when you lose a loved one, you aren’t prepared, even if you think you are…

we talked for quite a while and she mentioned the most difficult part was sharing the information with her children, and then supporting them as they processed it…

my girls and I this summer… they are such amazing young women…

brought to mind the very difficult phone calls I had to make when George died… one of my daughters lives here and the other lived at the coast…

I had to pull myself together and call them… I remember calling the one here in the city and praying that her husband was home because I knew she was going to dissolve into a million pieces… and thank goodness, he was home and answered the phone… I was able to know that he was beside her to hold her when she heard the news… I don’t even remember how she told our grandsons…

then I had to call my daughter at the coast… I knew that her husband was across the country and she had no one at home for support… I didn’t even have a friend’s number who I could call to go and be with her… we had to make decisions about whether she would come home right away or wait for the storm that was pounding the coast to abate… would she contact her husband who was writing an exam the following morning or wait until he was finished… would he come back to their home and travel with her here, or would he travel directly here from where he was…

the kids here came immediately to the hospital, although while I waited it seemed like it took forever… the daughter from away had to wait until the next day to come, and her husband did come directly here… finally we were all together…

and then we took one step at a time to get everything done that was needed…

speaking with my friend, I realized that I had blocked out making those phone calls…

in less than a month it will be two years since my beloved died… I am working very hard to stay positive and not fall into a funk… when I start to feel sorry for myself I put on those big girl pants and think about all the special times we had over 40 years… I am amazed that after this amount of time I can still feel devastated…

a young friend recently asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears… not that great I guess, lol… some days it feels as though everyone has moved on with their life… and I have too, until the gaping hole opens…

truly I have been blessed, and that helps me take the next step…