Tag Archives: big girl pants

seeing…

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

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had to rush home after work, jump in the car and head off to an appointment with a new eye doctor … those darn big girl pants…

I had decided to change my eye doctor after my last visit when my eye prescription wasn’t done correctly and was only caught when my contact lens person realized that something was missing…

this young man is quite wonderful… the office had all the newest equipment, as well as some that was likely close to a hundred years old… he knew his stuff and explained as he went including things that I should have known before, but hadn’t…

I’ve been having some trouble with my eyes since sometime in December and had gone to see my GP, who referred me to a specialist, who has prescribed pills and ointment for my eye… the infection still hasn’t cleared up and my vision seems to have gotten a bit worse so I was a bit worried about it all…

much as I had thought, it appears that the ointment is causing the blurring that I’ve been experiencing so that was good news… as well as the news that my eyes are in very good condition… yay…

when I was about 9 or so I got my first pair of glasses… I can remember walking out of the shop and seeing leaves on the trees… before that, they had been a mass of green…

I haven’t been able to wear my contacts for the last few months but am looking forward to being able to use them once the infection is gone, although it has been stubborn…

sometimes it is easy to forget the little things that make our life easy… such as glasses and good eyesight…

taken with my iPhone shows how deep the snow is...

taken with my iPhone in the evening – shows how deep the snow was…

made me think about my recent afternoon with the boys and how they changed the pristine snow covered landscape in the backyard to a very lived in space…

actively used garden...

actively used garden…

heron, nearly run over...

heron, nearly run over…

seeing is a wonderful thing…

quite the week…

08 Friday Mar 2013

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on our way home tonight the traffic was fairly heavy and as we came close to a large shopping mall I was telling my colleague about how there had been a vehicle stuck in the middle of the road, last Tuesday when I was coming home with my kids…

it was at that point that I realized it was just this Tuesday, the anniversary of George’s death, which felt like it had been weeks ago, not just three days ago…

I was shocked…

one of the last pictures I took before George died...

one of the last pictures I took before George died…

it really pointed out to me what a week it has been… Monday night with my BS friends, Tuesday the actual anniversary, Wednesday a staff meeting and running around to pick up items for the next day, Thursday a special event at work, and today a visit to the Legislature to celebrate International Women’s Day…

it really feels like it was ages ago… amazing how our body gets us through some of these things… I have been wearing those big girl pants all week without even realizing it…

no wonder that I was tired as the end of today approached… I have been numb…

I’ve been thinking that although the anniversary was very difficult to get through, it was much, much easier than the happenings of last year…

my beloved...

my beloved…

I have survived the loss of my beloved…

Memories…

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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has been a full weekend… this morning I walked over to Assiniboine Park for breakfast with a friend… I left early because I wanted to get some shots of the gorgeous hoarfrost on the trees…

hoarfrost along the walking path...

hoarfrost along the walking path…

whenever I go there, I remember what fun George and I had when we went for breakfast most Sundays from the time the Park Cafe opened… usually I would walk over and he would drive and we would meet up for a date together and talk about the week and the kids… we enjoyed watching the ducks, or the “zamboni” cleaning the ice for the skaters… we liked to read the memory stones as we walked along the path and often, when the weather was nice, we would walk through the English Garden… the host knew us and often found us a specially good table where we would have a lovely view… then we would drive home together, and often I would take pictures while George would spot something that I should capture…

as we left the restaurant this morning, we walked along the path where two memory stones refer to our family…

stone from Cyndi and Ron to remember George...

stone from Cyndi and Ron to remember George…

boys with their stone from Auntiy Cyndi and Uncle Ron...

boys with their stone from Aunty Cyndi and Uncle Ron…

later in the day I made french fries for the first time since George died… he always made the best french fries and we would often have pickerel and french fries on Tuesday night when I would get home from swimming… I have not had the heart to make them, until today… those big girl pants…

lovely memories…

Garbage…

21 Thursday Feb 2013

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our garbage day is Friday… so every Thursday after work I put on my big girl pants and  gather up the garbage and recycling and put the bins outside the gate in the lane…

when the system was being tested, they used our neighbourhood and our garbage was picked up every week without any problems…  well, they did destroy the back of one of my trees when they collected in the winter, but I have gotten over that…

we’ve had the new system for a while now… besides collecting garbage in the big bins, they also collect the recycling the same way…

so, since the program was outsourced, t my garbage has rarely been picked up on the proper day…  did I mention that my three neighbours have theirs picked up every week… I have called every few weeks to let the city know that it hasn’t been picked up and they have arranged a special pick up every time I call… I haven’t called every week because I don’t produce that much garbage all by myself… I have also asked for instructions if I need to do something differently, but have not received a response to that request either…

my grandson usually brings in the two bins when he’s here on Sunday and, of course, this Sunday the garbage was still there…  I didn’t call until last night when Skippy, the nice man I spoke with, advised that the garbage collection people put on my file that there were no bins out last Friday behind my house…  I advised that the bins had been placed out there on Thursday but Skippy had to take their word for it and put another note on my file advising that I said it hadn’t been picked up…

its not so funny anymore…  so, tonight I had a brilliant idea…  I typed up a note on the computer and taped it to the front of the bin, along with a pencil, asking why they weren’t picking up my garbage…  I duct taped it to the garbage can and took some pictures…

see…

note on garbage can put out Thursday, Feb 21, 2013 while it was still light out...

note on garbage can put out Thursday, Feb 21, 2013 while it was still light out…

so, you are all my witnesses… if they say the garbage can wasn’t out there tomorrow, I have proof…

next step may be to contact a TV station or the newspaper…  I wonder how many other people are experiencing similar problems…

garbage and recycling bins out while still light Thursday, February 21, 2013...

garbage and recycling bins out while still light Thursday, February 21, 2013…

we shall watch for results and I will keep you posted, lol…

 

 

The Garden…

20 Wednesday Feb 2013

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it was a long day today… I woke up with a headache and felt out of sorts all day long…

have just come in from a restorative hot tub and as I was getting into the tub I realized that the headache is finally gone, thank goodness…

as I was sitting there looking out at the snow covered garden I thought back to the 10 weeks I spent there this summer as I was recovering from my surgery… it gave me time to think about all that had happened since George’s death…

the garden is a sanctuary where birds, animals and people come to rest and recuperate from life’s events…  this year we had our largest crop of spring poppies ever… Crystal thought her dad had something to do with it, lol…

poppies

poppies

I had been hoping to have the pond redone, but that didn’t end up happening…  the weather was quite lovely for most of my recovery time and as soon as I was able I was out on the deck and once I could manage the steps I moved to my favourite spot at the back of the garden beside the biggest pond…  we were visited by a leopard frog again this year, although we hadn’t seen any over the last few years…

of course there were lots of birds… actually an amazing array…  we had purple finches, goldfinches, nuthatches, chickadees and a variety of sparrows… one day I looked out and found at least 5 male goldfinches at the feeder…

goldfinch at the feeder...

goldfinch at the feeder…

the garden has always been a healing place for me and I found that spending time there helped with the grieving process, not just for me, but for many of those who visited me over those many weeks…

right now, I can’t even see the pond from the hot tub because there is so much snow…  we haven’t had this much in many years…  after work tonight I went out and shoveled to the hot tub so that I would be able to walk out in my slippers later on…

had those big girl pants on and was thinking of all the times George would be sure to shovel the area to and around the hot tub so that I would have an easy walk to get there in the evening…

I sure do miss him…

Missing George…

11 Monday Feb 2013

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wow, last week seemed particularly long, and I have really been missing George…

not sure if it is all the Valentine Day stuff out there, the fact that we are coming up to the first anniversary of his death, the time of year, or what, but it has been very intense…

I did put my big girl pants on and figured out how to fill the hot tub, all by myself…  George always did this and then Jeff has done it for me, but it was really low and I didn’t think I could wait until Jeff was here again to do it…

cool snow formation on the hot tub...

cool snow formation on the hot tub…

so, I figured it out for myself…  then, of course, I couldn’t use it for a day because it takes a while to heat up again… but I must say, I was proud of myself…

on top of that, the people at Toyota are wanting to buy back the car, which means I have to think about whether it is time to turn it in and get a new lease…  this feels very much like a big girl pants type of thing, so I am going to have to think about what I want to do…  I have never chosen a car on my own…

a few days ago I was looking through pictures and found some of George examining the car when we picked it up… can’t for the life of me remember when we got this car… bet if I look in that pile on the desk I will be able to figure it out, lol…

life is very full and I continue to live in the moment… this past week or so many of those moments have been low, but I continue to feel them anyway…

 

Birthday party…

03 Sunday Feb 2013

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today was Gray’s birthday party…

couldn’t catch a ride with anyone so drove myself there and back…  doesn’t seem like that big a deal, but I needed those big girl pants…  first time I have gone over there, in the car for a birthday party, without George…

amazing how I was missing him today…  I have pulled a muscle in my arm and some movements really make it hurt…  I haven’t been doing lots of driving so was a bit worried about my reaction time if there were any problems…

on the way there I watched a truck back up at a light and just about hit a woman who was walking behind it…  a little further on the car in front of me stopped quite suddenly and I skidded on a patch of ice when I put on my brakes…  need to remember to pump them…

so, I wasn’t looking forward to the drive home in the dark…

examining one of the many presents...

examining one of the many presents…

the birthday party was great…  there were lots of people, presents, food, cake and cupcakes…

lots of yummy food...

lots of yummy food…

when the cake was cut, I headed out…  the drive wasn’t too bad, although I was gripping the steering wheel rather nicely, lol…  both the car and I were happy to drive into the garage…

cake and cupcakes...

cake and cupcakes…

had something to eat, watched some TV and am now heading to bed early… been a long day…

My financial closet…

28 Monday Jan 2013

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had a late meeting, so got a few extra hours at home this morning…

clothes to take to Mexico...

clothes to take to Mexico…

saw a little piece on TV by the Golden Girl Finance women about comparing your finances to your closet…  it was very cute and reminded me of some of the things George and I had done to ensure our financial well-being…

George had life insurance from the time he was about 15 and both of us understood the important of insurance… when my parents were newly married their home burned to the ground and they got out with the clothes on their backs and the blanket they had wrapped my brother in…

at one point in our life we had to cancel one of the policies because we were in a very poor financial situation but he maintained his remaining policies…  we also carried insurance on our credit cards and line of credit and thanks to that I was able to wipe out any debt we had, which has made going forward much easier for me now that there is only one income…

I learned that I should have started claiming CPP as soon as I turned 60, even though I was still working… luckily I was able to rectify that…

dealing with government departments, like CPP, can be very stressful…  what I learned over time is that if you aren’t getting the right answers from the person you are speaking with, it might be a good idea to call again and see what another person’s response might be… if you can get someone interested in you, it feels as though they try harder to sort out your issues…

perseverance was something I also learned about… to me it felt as though the forms, roadblocks, and lack of interest were an attempt to have me give up and not collect what was rightfully mine…

thankfully I have sufficient income to remain in my home as I move forward but I have had to wear those big girl pants quite a bit over these last ten months…

Missing George…

31 Monday Dec 2012

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today was fairly good… I had an early hot tub, even though it was minus thirty-four or some such thing, because I just had to have one last one in 2012… the boys came over, Jeff added water to the hot tub, and we went grocery shopping…

usually on New Year’s Eve, George would have barbecued steak and lobster for dinner… as the kids were having a party, I decided we should have the special dinner tomorrow night, so no one would have to do any rushing around… George would barbecue on a regular basis and I miss that… I am going to have to put on those big girl pants and do it myself one of these days…

while we were out I bought some nice stuffed scallops, fresh asparagus and mushrooms for my supper…  I anticipated that the evening would be a little sad, but didn’t really feel like being around partying people…

this year's New Year's Eve dinner...

this year’s New Year’s Eve dinner…

had my dinner and have just been watching the fireworks which our Community Club has on New Year’s Eve…  often we would be watching TV and one of us would hear the sound, and we would stand together in the dining room watching them out the window…  tonight I did that on my own…

fireworks through the window...

fireworks through the window…

I am saying farewell to a rough year, and trying hard to look toward the excitement and new things that will be 2013… I look forward to tomorrow and starting new traditions with my family… fancy dinner on New Year’s Day… family vacation… who knows what else…

I have come through the death of my beloved, a cancer diagnosis, big surgery and a long recovery…  now I am healthy and surrounded by people who care about me… I continue to be blessed…

if I awake at midnight I will toast my beloved, the past and coming year, and maybe speak with my girls… if not, I will start the new year in the morning with a smile…

may your New Year be filled with precious moments and much love and laughter…