Tags
advent calendar, alone, big girl pants, death of parent, dying, loss, missing my beloved, project, remembering, ups and downs
spent a quiet day at home and got some chores taken care of around the house…
spent quite a while trying to find my advent calendar – 2 muffin tins with magnetic covers – which was very frustrating as I had seen it over the summer… did find the reindeer calendar, lol… will have to actually go through each of the Christmas boxes one night this week…
spent a lovely afternoon working on a project which is coming along very nicely…
thought about friends who have recently lost parents and remembering the loss of our parents… how slowly the process of dying can be, and then how quickly it happens… thinking you are prepared and discovering that you are not at all ready… the guilt of feeling relief that the process is over… the exhaustion…
I have been feeling a bit alone for the last while… missing my beloved more, rather than less, these days… working hard to remember all the special times with him…
last year at this time we were all focused on our family vacation to Mexico right after Christmas, and I think it helped me keep my mind off Christmas without him… this year I don’t have that distraction, so I am trying to live each moment, whether happy or sad…
finished off my fishy weekend with a lovely dinner of shrimp, left-over garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad…
