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~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: beloved

lonesome…

15 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, hot tub, journey, lonesome, tears

as I move along this new path in my journey I do get lonesome for my beloved… I miss him all the time, but mainly I am enjoying my new life…

of course there are days where I feel down… this weekend I couldn’t unhook the hose to empty the hot tub… he had the strongest hands that could open/twist/turn anything… the fish tank is getting cloudy and he would have known exactly what type of filters we need… I’ve tried a couple of different kinds, but still don’t think I am getting the right ones, sigh…

was talking with someone who lost their partner shortly after George died… they have filled their time with other people, hardly ever on their own… recently they commemorated their partner’s passing with what sounded like a full blown funeral…

we will be celebrating George’s birthday in a few weeks, likely with burgers and milkshakes, maybe apple pie, three of his favourite foods… we will be together and share stories and laugher, and maybe a few tears but likely less than last year or the year before…

interesting the different ways that we each respond as we deal with these life altering events…

IMG_9338.JPG

normal…

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, chores, garden, normal, Saturday

spent my Saturday in my new normal… a quiet day to recharge my batteries…

a few chores – watering the plants, putting chemicals in the hot tub, laundry… chatting with my girls on the phone or by text…

the garden needs work before the weather changes, but this Fall I am not motivated at all to get the work done…

George loved to putter around on Saturdays… cleaning the garage, working in the garden… going for bike rides… he liked TV as well…

watched some skating and a few cooking shows…

made coleslaw and used up a few frozen wieners which I cooked with brussel sprouts and a baked potato…

IMG_8973.JPG pleased that I’ve been using up things in the freezer…

used to run around and do shopping and errands and use Sunday to relax…

missing my beloved… don’t really love my new normal…

voting…

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, election, freedom, George, voting

since I was of age, I have voted in every election… and I have done it each and every time with my beloved…

we have an election next Wednesday… first one since George died…

I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the process, so I decided to do something different…

tonight when I got home from work, I walked over to the community club to vote in the Advance Poll… never done that before…

advised the man who put the ballots into the counting machine that I wanted to take a picture of the ballot as it went in…

IMG_8821.JPGhe was happy to take the picture and was rather excited that someone wanted their picture taken as they voted, lol…

we are so lucky to live in a country where we have the freedom to vote… sad that so many people don’t take advantage of it…

steps…

06 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, leaking, pond, steps

was going to try to put the shoe storage units on the wall this morning, but I didn’t have any screws… a bit humorous because somewhere in the garage I expect there are hundreds of them…

then I moved to organizing a drawer and in the process had to destroy some items of my beloved’s… still amazingly difficult…

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items and when I got home discovered that the pond was nearly out of water… turned it off and filled it up again…

listened to geese flying over as I was filling the pond… I do love that sound…

the moon is gorgeous tonight…

IMG_8073.JPGlittle steps as I continue to wear those big girl pants…

firsts…

03 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, first day of school, firsts, hummingbird, lobster, monarch butterfly, photos, remembering

this morning I was able to spend some time remembering the girls’ first days of school… I was privileged to be home while they were young and can still remember the excitement of those special days…

my baby watched her first born get on his first school bus as he headed to a French-only high school in St. Boniface…

IMG_7989.JPGher baby starts kindergarten in the next few days and the middle one started grade 4 today…

hard to believe they are so grown up…

after that I spent a good part of the day with our photo albums because I knew there were some first day pics of them…

it was great fun as I wandered through our life in photos… was missing my
beloved as I went through them… found a few to give away in the process…

IMG_7987.JPGI think this is our oldest’s first day of kindergarten…

IMG_7986.JPGthis is probably the youngest’s first day of kindergarten and the oldest’s first day of grade 2…

two other firsts today… saw my first monarch of the summer as I was walking home from breakfast at the “A” with my daughter… not sure if I saw any the year before, which was very sad… I still remember how one year my vacation was at the same time as the caterpillars moved to butterflies and I got great pictures of the entire process… truly miraculous…

late in the afternoon I walked into the garden and spotted a hummingbird flitting from flower to flower… I was so excited because we haven’t seen any in the garden or even the neighbourhood for more than ten years… of course I didn’t have my phone or camera with me… I’ve been out a few times in the hope of seeing her again, but no luck…

to celebrate this day filled with firsts I baked lobster tails for dinner, a great treat…

IMG_7988.JPG

down…

06 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, bison steak, down, tears

feeling a bit down today… could be because I wasn’t feeling well for most of the day…

was talking with a friend recently about our lost partners… I was mentioning how I had no tears on Friday and that felt surprising, but good…

but I am wondering if this might also be a response to getting through another anniversary…

had the kids for bison steak dinner with new potatoes, mushrooms and Caesar salad… it was lovely, although the youngest felt they had just been here for dinner, and that they should only come once a week, lol…

IMG_6925.JPGone day at a time…

today…

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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anniversary, beloved, outdoor movies, pond, string algae, today, whipper snipper

today marked 44 years since I married my beloved… I decided to spend the day at home and remember the fun times we enjoyed over the years…

spent a good portion of the day in the garden… mowed the grass and then took an hour to research and wrap the cord on the spool for the whipper snipper… not sure if it is right but will have Jeff check it out on Monday…

20140801-215846-79126441.jpgspent some time reading and even did a bit of weeding…

20140801-220014-79214750.jpgthink I have found something to get rid of the string algae, so ran out and picked up the powder from Pet Traders and put some of it into the far end of the pond… will see how it looks tomorrow…

Crystal and the three boys came over after she got off work and we picked up pizza and chicken wings, took it to the Park and had our supper as we waited for Friday night movies at the Lyric…

20140801-220451-79491475.jpgafter we watched The Croods, we headed home and I read outside in the garden until it was dark and then came in…

a lovely day filled with good memories and no tears…

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dragonfly…

19 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, nature, Uncategorized

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barbecue, beloved, big girl pants, dragonfly, garden, goldfish, nature

spent a good portion of the day in the garden…

20140719-200950-72590820.jpgit was lovely and not too hot… another batch of plants are blooming… they could be the same as the purple ones, only smaller… dark pink/red, not sure how I feel about the colour…

first thing this morning a dragonfly landed on the screen and posed for a few pictures…

20140719-201526-72926223.jpgmoved my chair so I was sitting right beside the pond… saw lots of babies… white and red, white and black, and gold ones, which look black in the pond… sadly I’m having issues with algae, not sure the fancy uv filter is doing its job… frustrating because putting it in caused the waterfall flow to be less powerful…

did a bit of weeding and had a lovely nap…

read most of a paper book and also put on my big girl pants and barbecued steak and zucchini, with potatoes, onions and mushrooms…

20140719-202300-73380961.jpgrestful day, but missing my beloved…

Canada Day…

01 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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beloved, Canada Day, goldfinch, grackles, hot tub, neighbours, popcorn, quiet

been a very quiet Canada Day here…

it was overcast when I got up and then it started to mist… put out a box of pass-me-overs and made tea…

I saw this goldfinch come to the feeder a number of times throughout the day, once with the missus…

Goldfinch snacking in the rain...

Goldfinch snacking in the rain…

when I was out in the hot tub, he went to one of the feeders in the back corner of the garden… I also thought I saw two of them fly over the house… am wondering if maybe there is a baby boy in their life, although last year there were at least five pairs living in the area…

the grackles have been coming to the feeders a lot… this is very unusual, and they seem to be coming when it is raining… don’t have the heart to shoo them away because they also have a baby in their midst, although it is the same size as the parents, but lighter coloured and bushier…

watched tv, read a bit and napped… my legs are both stiff from the fall, but I don’t have any visible bruising… talked with my girls, and my son-in-law stopped by on his way home from work to stand up some plants in the pond… after my little fall yesterday, I was a bit nervous to get down close to the pond… who would save me if I fell in, lol… he counted four baby fish in the pond as well…

usually the kids would come over and we would watch the fireworks that go off at the Park, but no one was feeling that great and the weather has been rainy and overcast all day so they decided not to come…

spent a bit of time remembering all the gatherings on Canada Day on the front street as neighbours, friends and family would put chairs out on the road, make gallons of popcorn, spray everyone within an inch of their life with bug spray and oooo and ahhhh at the fireworks… some years they would be amazing, and other years not so great… the view is not quite as good now, as the trees have grown so they can interfere depending on where the fireworks have been set up… one year we went over to the Park to watch them and almost died of smoke inhalation, lol…

since talking with the kids the sky has finally turned blue, so I might walk out to the street when they start… or not… missing my beloved today…

scattered…

14 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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ashes, beloved, big girl pants, breakfast, dinner, family, memories, scattered, the "A"

this morning we laid my beloved to rest for the final time…

lovely place by the creek to rest...

lovely place by the creek to rest…

with family we walked down to a spot by the creek just across from our home of over forty years, and deposited his ashes to move out to the two rivers it joins, and then Lake Winnipeg…

I was amazed at how difficult this was… we have been working toward this event since last August when we had the discussion that Dad needed to have a place…

a few of his ashes had been placed into necklaces… a date was chosen, flights were booked… a brick from around the pond was engraved… the spot for the scattering was decided… the house and yard were cleaned and tidied for the event…

the plan had been to have a bonfire in the garden last night, and over wieners, baked potatoes and s’mores, share some of our memories of dad/grandpa… unfortunately the weather was uncooperative and we ended up crowded around in the living room looking through old photo albums… the boys were quite surprised at the photos and how different grandpa looked as a younger man, lol…

all the kids slept over and we got up early, met with the rest of the group and walked to the chosen spot… my grandson and I had decided not to have any readings, just send grandpa on his way… I shared how we had made our decisions about what we would do… told the story about how we were going to make a paper box for his remains and then discovered yesterday it wouldn’t dissolve, the last minute conversations with various professionals to decide on plan B…

scattering complete, now on to breakfast...

scattering complete, now on to breakfast…

George loved the creek, and had spent many hours there with our girls and then the grandkids, finding frogs and checking out critters, so it was a fitting place for him…

once his ashes were scattered in the creek, everyone dropped a daisy or two into the stream to travel with him… then we walked over to the “A” for breakfast, which used to be one of our weekend activities, particularly over the last three or four years… nearly everyone had the special – George’s favourite – and we had a great visit with one another…

we all had breakfast, sort of together...

we all had breakfast, sort of together…

home for a last few minutes and then folks moved on to the rest of their day… although we did have a few dad memories before they all left…

gathered tonight for a celebratory dinner…

celebratory dinner, steak and lobster with a "dad" salad...

celebratory dinner, steak and lobster with a “Dad” salad…

feeling a bit scattered myself… many memories came flooding back about the day of his memorial service, at which I was going through some serious health issues and had blocked out much of the events that took place…

the final step has been taken… my beloved…

the first poppies of the year, today...

the first poppies of the year, today…

 

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson grandsons happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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