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Tag Archives: George

memories…

08 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, George, memories, shrimp rolls, treat

yesterday for my lunch I had shrimp rolls…

they were a treat from one of my colleagues who knows how much I love them…

they were the person who introduced me to shrimp rolls in the first place…

when George died, everyone from work came to be with me… they came in groups of twos and threes, and always brought me food…

I had no appetite and hadn’t eaten for days and when I finally did eat something it was one of the shrimp rice rolls…

I’ve had them a few times since, but yesterday it brought back all the memories…

IMG_7122.JPGthey still taste yummy…

injured…

23 Wednesday Jul 2014

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bandaid, big girl pants, George, green beans, injured, thumb

first thing I went out and watered everything with my fabulous hose…

discovered some flowers in one of the pots on a plant that looked like a potato vine… very cute…

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stopped on the way home and picked up a few things for supper…

was very happy to see beautiful local green beans…

between getting the supper ready I did laundry…

as I was cutting the beans I sliced right into my thumb… ouch…

20140723-205611-75371087.jpgwas thinking of George as I put on the bandage… he always had a bandaid on some portion of his body… he even carried them in his pockets and wallet, lol…

surgery…

17 Thursday Jul 2014

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big girl pants, drugs, George, hernia, surgery, uterine cancer

what a difference two years makes… today at lunch we walked to a Farmers’ Market and I carried a bag full of produce back to the office… back then I hadn’t been able to walk much or carry anything due to the size of the hernia…

it is two years to the day since I had surgery for cancer of the uterus and a very large hernia repair…

I was terrified because George wasn’t with me… he had died four months before and I was still trying to work through the whole being on my own thing…

I had set up a schedule so that I had people with me in the hospital and when I got home… only my younger daughter was able to be here and my sister-in-law came from Calgary…

my body does not deal well with drugs of any kind… when I came to after the surgery, I was high as a kite… but not in a good way… it took five or six hours to settle down… the pain meds kept me from sleeping and I was very hyper… twelve hours after the surgery I stopped taking all medication… it was easier to work through the pain than to deal with all of the side effects…

they made a large incision but it was less painful than the one from gall bladder surgery two years earlier, which was at an angle across my abdomen…

my nephew brought in his iPad and got a movie playing to try to help me sleep, but nothing worked… usually the tv works like a great sleeping pill for me, lol…

I have been so blessed with friends and family who have been looking after me since I have been on my own…

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sandwich…

15 Tuesday Jul 2014

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George, parent, protected, sandwich, support, switch, taken care of

was talking with someone a while ago about so much illness around us…

reminded me of the switch when the girls went from being the ones we supported to the ones who supported us…

our final parent, George’s mom, died and we were all together at the hospital… we came home and the girls organized pizza for supper…

they then proceeded to see what we needed… how they could help us…

up till that time we had been there to support and protect them…

but we moved from being the protectors to being the protected…

both George and I saw and felt the change and we talked about it quite a bit…

from then on they took on the role of supporters…

we went from being the meat in the sandwich to being the bread, lol…

since then, they have been looking after us…

and now they are looking after me… from checking in and seeing how I am, where I am, what I’m doing, what I’m eating, to calling one another and sharing how they think I am doing…

I am one lucky woman to have such wonderful kids…

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construction…

12 Saturday Jul 2014

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bedside table, big girl pants, construction, dim sum, George, IKEA, Kum Koon Garden

went to IKEA with the kids this morning and they bought a bedside table for me that I’ve been looking at for a while… I saw it online but they didn’t have one put together in the store so that we could see what it really looked like… we’d searched for it last time we were there but couldn’t find it… today it jumped off the shelf as we walked by…

stopped at Rona for a few things for their kitchen and then on to Kum Koon Garden for dim sum with a young friend, who then dropped me at home…

had a nap and did a bit of housework…

20140712-185406-68046126.jpgafter which, this box and four hours produced a very cute bedside table…

20140712-185543-68143529.jpgwoo hoo, way to go me and my big girl pants…

20140712-185813-68293550.jpgthere are many tools in the garage and a couple of toolboxes in the basement, but I used my tools… this hammer, which was made by George in shop class, and a small pink screwdriver that has multiple heads… George wasn’t allowed to use them and so they never got lost, lol…

rather happy with my project… and it fits perfectly…

leaving…

11 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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cancer, cold turkey, George, leaving, mom, palliative care, valium

had a conversation recently with someone about my mom…

we weren’t very close as I grew up… she spent a lot of time in hospital and was on Valium for years which made her confused and disconnected…

she decided to stop taking the drugs when I was about sixteen and she quit cold turkey… not the way most people would stop, but she had made up her mind… it made a huge difference for all of us…

my dad died when the girls were eight and ten, and within months she was sick… eventually they discovered esophageal cancer and moved her to a palliative care facility which was across town from where she, and we, lived…

for four months I spent every day with her… we had the chance to work through all our differences and become good friends… at that time I was a stay-at-home mom and so was able to spend the time…

it was horrible and wonderful… not often does the opportunity come to spend such quality time with another person…

dying slowly is hard on everyone, the person who is dying and all those connected with them… it was a privilege to take that journey with her and know that we had sorted through all our difficulties… there was nothing left unsaid…

over the years George and I have supported a number of other family and friends as they left us slowly and as difficult as his death was, I was thankful that he didn’t go through days, weeks, months of pain and suffering…

if I think back, I can remember the last day, when I climbed into her bed and held her during the last hours… but mainly I remember the good times and how much she loved our girls…

she would have loved all our boys, old and young…

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paperwork…

09 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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benefits, George, insurance, paperwork, strong, surgery

today I was reminded of the couple of times that I was off work for a few months at a time, and another when George died…

once was four years ago when I ended up in hospital with pancreatitis and then had my gall bladder removed… we were supposed to have flown to BC but instead I spent six weeks in the hospital and eight weeks recovering at home… George was with me throughout the whole process and supported me as I dealt with all of the paperwork as I struggled to get some benefits from Service Canada… eventually I jumped through all of the hoops and got a little support… we celebrated our 40th anniversary while I was in the hospital…

then, when he died I went through the process of filling out numerous forms, terrified that I might do something wrong which would mean I wouldn’t get his insurance benefits…

two years ago next week I went through another serious surgery… this time without George… besides having to get through the surgery and recovery on my own, I had to go through the process again to get funding… it was not any easier the second time around…

all of those experiences were very stressful… particularly when already going through a difficult situation…

as I look back on them I realize how strong I actually was… but still remember the fear every time I had to fill out one of those forms…

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missing…

26 Thursday Jun 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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appointment, CancerCare, clematis, George, hard moments, missing, sadness

this morning as I was walking down the stairs a wave of sadness swept over me… I was missing George so much, I could hardly stand it…

as I was leaving the house I got some shots of the clematis… we were both so excited that it continued to return year after year and bloom so beautifully…

many blooms on the clematis this morning...

many blooms on the clematis this morning…

I felt his loss all day… I had an appointment at CancerCare and remembered how he was always there for any appointment I had, just as I was always there for his appointments… Crystal wasn’t able to go with me for this one, and I was a bit nervous as the last two times the examination had been extremely painful… happily, today it was a piece of cake… I was in and out within 20 minutes…

when I got home and was taking off my shoes I looked down and saw this…

Cyndi wore these while she was here and they were just sitting at the front door...

Cyndi wore these while she was here and they were just sitting at the front door…

hard to believe that there are such hard moments after 842 days…

great close up... took these before I even got into the car, lol...

great close up… took these before I even got into the car, lol…

 

rain…

15 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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empty, Father's Day, George, rain, tears

it has been raining since yesterday morning…

feels a bit like tears, of which I have been shedding many this weekend…

this morning I was checking Facebook and realized it was Father’s Day… rather funny because we had spent time planning a special dinner for Jeff…

I think I’ve been focused on getting through yesterday and was a bit taken aback this morning…

on our way to breakfast we watched some of the marathoners as they ran along Portage Avenue, in the pouring rain… for many years I have spent Father’s Day morning sitting/standing and cheering on the runners… for a number of years when the girls were in elementary school George would drive them to the U of Manitoba where they took part in one of the fun runs… talk about a dedicated dad, lol…

George was a great dad and grandpa and Father’s Day is just another reminder that he is gone…

this afternoon the eight of us went to the movies and came back for ribs for our supper… we’ve had lots of family time over the weekend which is wonderful…

after we ate, the Winnipeg family went home and the Ottawa family packed their bags and jumped on a plane…

house is feeling just a bit quiet and empty tonight…

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garden…

03 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, garden, George, leaking, peaceful, pond, swale

there are still lots of things to plant in the garden but I didn’t get anything done tonight…

on my way to the car this morning I realized the water in the pond was very low, I spent about five minutes filling it… that amount of time didn’t add very much water…

was worried that the fish might get in trouble if it got much lower…

20140603-211859-76739932.jpgtonight I am sitting here as it fills up, enjoying the beautiful evening… birds are singing and the sound of the water is soothing…

20140603-212110-76870849.jpgwe think it is leaking again due to something happening when the uv filter went in…

my pond guy is planning to stop by Thursday or Friday to sort out the problem…

I have noticed that when it rains the pond doesn’t get all murky like it was in the fall so I think the swale they built fixed that problem which is wonderful…

I think I am taking on some of George’s characteristics because now when I walk through an area in the garden I find myself pulling weeds as I go and then going back to pick them up off the ground later, lol… I kept trying to get him to carry a small pail so he didn’t have to retrace his steps…

what a serene and peaceful place I inhabit…

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