Tag Archives: missing my beloved

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01 Tuesday Apr 2014

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in the process of decluttering, I came across some sheet music books and the lovely recipe book from our cruise last May/June…

took them to work to share with my colleagues… always easier to let something go if you know it will have a good home…

reminded me of what a great time we had on the cruise and all the new experiences and fun we had…

just heard about my income taxes and I only owe a few hundred dollars this year… much less than last year when we had to file for George as well…

missing my beloved so much… some days it feels as though the pain is more than I can handle…

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need to focus on the positives… like the fact that I actually finished the hallway shelves…

Christmas Eve…

24 Tuesday Dec 2013

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had a very lovely Christmas eve… Crystal, Jeff and the boys arrived around 2 and we had fun playing together…

Sandi and I...

Sandi and I…

my sister-in-law Sandi, and her four boys and a girlfriend, arrived around 6 and we ate our way through quite a bit of food…

the spread...

the spread…

we had great conversations all around… can’t even remember the last time we were all in the same room…

space was filled up...

space was filled up…

stories were shared and higher learning discussed… the little boys watched movies and came and went for snacks while the adults had a great time… some of the stories were about the girls babysitting the boys, many years ago… lots of laughter… had to have been at least ten electronic devices in and around the room…

lots of electronics plugged in...

lots of electronics plugged in…

everyone left and Cyndi and Ron tidied up while I wrote this blog… we will be heading to bed shortly and going to Crystal’s in the morning…

a very different Christmas Eve than the usual ones we have had over the years… usually we would all get in our jammies and sit by the fire that George would have going, and there would be people sleeping everywhere as bedtime arrived…

I am missing my beloved today, thinking of all the wonderful Christmas Eves we have celebrated over the years…

but, today is a new day and those big girl pants must be worn…

 

getting ready…

26 Tuesday Nov 2013

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tonight I spent another hour searching through the Christmas boxes trying to find the Advent calendar that Cyndi sent to me two years ago…

it is made of two muffin baking pans and twenty-four magnetic covers… I saw them in July when I was gathering items for the Champagne Bubble Party…

Advent calendar 2012

Advent Calendar 2012…

now I’ve been through everything twice and still can’t find it… last year she sent a package to the office and my colleagues filled all the spots and put on the covers… it was fun for them as well as for me…

I’ve now decided that I can use some small paper bags that she had used and were left from her business because apparently I am not going to find it, sigh…

did find some other Advent things and set them aside… have organized a few gifts but need to deal with quite a few more…

technology is also being a bit difficult as my desktop computer has died and I have to take the time to figure out how to print on the printer that was hooked up to the desktop…

a big job I have is to get the computer room tidied and organized… this will also help with being able to sort out the printer problem, lol…

trying hard not to let myself wallow in the sad place… a friend had told me that often year two is worse than year one, and that is what I seem to be experiencing…

loss…

24 Sunday Nov 2013

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spent a quiet day at home and got some chores taken care of around the house…

spent quite a while trying to find my advent calendar – 2 muffin tins with magnetic covers – which was very frustrating as I had seen it over the summer… did find the reindeer calendar, lol…  will have to actually go through each of the Christmas boxes one night this week…

spent a lovely afternoon working on a project which is coming along very nicely…

thought about friends who have recently lost parents and remembering the loss of our parents… how slowly the process of dying can be, and then how quickly it happens… thinking you are prepared and discovering that you are not at all ready… the guilt of feeling relief that the process is over… the exhaustion…

I have been feeling a bit alone for the last while… missing my beloved more, rather than less, these days…  working hard to remember all the special times with him…

last year at this time we were all focused on our family vacation to Mexico right after Christmas, and I think it helped me keep my mind off Christmas without him… this year I don’t have that distraction, so I am trying to live each moment, whether happy or sad…

finished off my fishy weekend with a lovely dinner of shrimp, left-over garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad…

shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad...

shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad…

planning a remembrance…

20 Wednesday Nov 2013

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when we were together on Sunday we talked about how we would remember Grandpa’s birthday… Tavin and I had spent some time looking at the video from George’s memorial service… it was lovely as he was able to watch the pictures and think about Grandpa… he wasn’t able to do that at the service…

the boys decided on hamburgers and milkshakes from his favourite burger place and apple pie with ice cream… ice cream was included because some of us don’t really like apple pie, lol…

hopefully we will FaceTime or Skype with the kids in Ottawa… last year one of them was in Calgary and the other in Courtenay… it will be nice that they are together…

snowflake picture taken on George\s last birthday...

snowflake picture taken on George\s birthday, 2011…

not feeling well for the last few days has made me feel a bit sorry for myself, missing my beloved who always looked after me…

ready…

11 Sunday Aug 2013

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well I’m as ready as I’m going to be for tomorrow’s company for dinner and the evening…

it has taken quite a while to get everything cleaned up from the party… but it was fun as I remembered different things that took place while we prepared or during the party…

deck tidy and ready should we decide to eat out there...

deck tidy and ready should we decide to eat out there…

the dining room is ready, the kitchen is tidy and the deck and garden look lovely…

mirrors and bubbles hanging as a reminder of the party...

mirrors and bubbles hanging as a reminder of the party…

I spent a bit of time out there watering and reattaching some of the mirrors that had come down…

sadly I noticed one of the glass balls broken in the bottom of the pond…

pond beautiful for its debut with this group...

pond beautiful for its debut with this group…

got laundry done as well as napping and TV watching… lots of resting amongst the getting ready, lol…

the travellers have all arrived, some to a hotel in Ottawa and the others back home from camping…

tomorrow the cleaner comes so not only will it be tidy, it will be clean…

missing my beloved today… he would have helped me make sure everything was perfect for tomorrow and we would have talked about how great the party was as we put things away…

 

sadness…

16 Tuesday Jul 2013

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as I drove home from work tonight a wave of sadness overcame me…

I haven’t been able to shake it… I have been missing my beloved so much this last week or so… don’t know if it is the pond… he always gave me action about the ponds but he loved to look after them, and the fish, even as he complained…

was talking with someone about having the roof reshingled and thinking how he would have known who to talk to and sort out the best people to do the work, and even whether we needed the work done…

even talking with my kids couldn’t lift the sadness…

well, I am going for a short hot tub and then to bed… tomorrow is another day and a great opportunity to remember good times and let the sadness float away…

smiling as I was taking his picture...

smiling as I was taking his picture…

weeding…

29 Saturday Jun 2013

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spent a good portion of this beautiful day in the side garden…

started weeding just after nine… worked for a bit, had a rest, worked a bit more, and so on and so on…

before weeding...

before weeding…

at one point I stopped to show someone the closet that needs doors… nice to have a little break… set out a chair and cushion on the back deck which has been moved forward about a foot and a half… wasn’t going to sit out there, but decided it would be lovely to sit in the shade…

after weeding for half an hour...

after weeding for half an hour…

filled three pails with weeds… probably have another three to go…

after an hour of weeding...

after an hour of weeding…

George worked really hard in that garden, sigh…

DSCN0519after an hour and a half

I was missing him all day as I was wearing those big girl pants…

ran to Rona and got a few more things to plant… there are two planters on the wall that need something in them and a couple of other things jumped off the shelves into my cart, lol…

then I had the water tested, ran a few errands, came home and added the necessary chemicals to the hot tub…

snow…

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

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so, had in my mind that I would Google whether it has ever snowed here on April 18th… seemed like a simple thing, but I have now spent an hour trying to get the information…

found a nice chart on weatherspark.com but couldn’t copy it into the blog… anyway, it basically said that it should be way warmer than it is… nothing about snow, lol…

tomorrow is supposed to be sunny with a few clouds with the temperature going to plus 3 Celsius… let’s hope there is no snow…

flowers for the three birthday celebrants...

flowers for the three birthday celebrants…

I will be sixty-two… today at work we celebrated three birthdays… it is quite amazing to me that with only 12 people on staff, 3 of us have our birthdays in one week… there was singing, icing topped muffins and cute little flower arrangements for each of us…

my lovely birthday flowers...

my lovely birthday flowers…

later I went for a birthday lunch with another friend who shares an April birthday… it was very pleasant to spend time with them and enjoy lunch at Bistro Dansk in Wolseley…

at the end of the day on our way home we stopped by Rona for a few items for the office and I think I found a lounge chair for the deck so will have to go back in the next few days to pick that up…

missing my beloved… he always made my birthday a special event…