got home last night to discover a statement from MTS (Manitoba Telephone System)… it was for my internet service – and advised that I had not paid the November bill…

if you had been here you would probably have seen the steam escaping from my ears… I have now have phone calls with MTS for about 4 months trying to get this sorted out…

previously I shared the story of how they had to do a credit check on me less than 24 hours after George died…  a few months later I asked to have the main email address for the service changed from his email address to mine… seemed simple… 3 phone calls about that, being told each time that it was taken care of… then a bill arrived for the internet service… more calls, once again I was told it is fixed… then yesterday’s bill…

I felt a bit sorry for the woman that answered my call… it wasn’t her fault, but really people… after 20 minutes on the phone she assured me that it is fixed now… we shall see…  after a while it really is rather funny…

before George died, he looked after all the bills, often paying them in person, or by mail…

now, with the big girl pants, I have learned to use internet banking, bill paying, and credit card tracking… lots of it has been fun, because I do love technology (most days)… and the process has made bill payment much easier and quicker…

but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to wear the big girl pants, and could go back to being looked after…  George looked after me for all of those 41 plus years… he liked to grocery shop, pick up things we needed, fetch items for a variety of events I was participating in, shovel the snow when he was able, gather up and take out the garbage, ensure I had cash in my wallet, provide chocolate for my desk drawer, drive me to and from places… you know, just about anything you might want or need looked after…

it wasn’t that I couldn’t do those things, it was that he enjoyed doing them for me… George took good care of me and made sure that I would have sufficient income to live comfortably…  I have enough to pay the bills, maintain the house and buy the odd treat for myself and my kids…

as I walk through these days towards Christmas, I am working at letting the little frustrations go… because it really doesn’t matter about minor problems like incorrect bills…

I put up the forest a few days ago – I have a small tree collection – and was giggling to myself because George didn’t always love all the decorations that would go up around the house, and those memories are fun too…

trees and lights up the stairs…

I continue to focus on the wonderful Christmases we have enjoyed and the ones that are still to come… I miss him every day and expect I will do so until I take my last breath – I hope that is a long time coming… truly I am blessed…