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drinking a cup of tea and thinking about our family traditions over the years… I like to celebrate everything I can, lol… holidays, birthdays, special events in our lives… usually with a family dinner…

  
one tradition has been around birthdays… on your birthday you get to choose what to have for dinner, and the family gathers to celebrate… on the day and always with gifts of course… 

used to involve making the favourite food – roast chicken, mashed potatoes and stuffing; homemade macaroni and cheese; all the way to steak and lobster…  but over the years we have also brought in favourites, or even gone out for dinner… 

  
tomorrow marks the fourth birthday celebration for George since he died…

the tradition for his birthday now involves burgers from a local joint topped off with milkshakes and apple pie… all of which were his favourite foods… the kids who aren’t here join us by skype or FaceTime and we share memories over dinner…

you’d think after nearly four years that it would be easier, but I have felt myself moving into a sad place over the last few days… I make sure to focus on the good times as much as I can, but I still miss him so much and have moments of deep sadness… I embrace them as well as the good ones…

tonight both of my girls have checked in to see what our plan is and to let me know, in their own way, that they know it is hard for me… and I know it is hard for them