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herbiggirlpants

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herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: beloved

romantic…

28 Saturday Jan 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, flowers, jacket, orchid, romantic, Valentine's Day, widow

been thinking a lot about Valentine’s Day and my beloved…

he was a romantic and always made sure that the day was special for me… he was also romantic the rest of the year…

been dealing with a few household issues lately and maybe that’s why I’ve been thinking of him so much…

on our last Valentine’s together he had a lovely card, a rose, cinnamon hearts and a jacket I’d been coveting from his work – all sitting on the kitchen counter when I came downstairs… he’d had to go through quite a process to get the jacket for me as they didn’t have the right size at his store, so he’d gone to another location to get it.. still one of my favourites…

every time I have flowers they remind me of all the individual roses, bouquets and orchids he brought me over the years… particularly during the winter months when I would often feel down… 

flowers have always been able to perk me up and bring a smile to my face…

driving…

06 Friday Jan 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, comfortable, driveway, driving, ice, pump, Shadow, widow

this morning as I was driving to work I ran into a patch of ice… 

had to work hard at leaving my foot on the brake… used to old school pumping…

reminded me of what an excellent driver George was… 

he always drove defensively… which also made me think of him as I was sliding on that ice patch…

this is the most recent picture of Shadow that I have… didn’t remember to take a photo of her this morning in her new parking spot at the office… it is a great one with a car on one side but not the other…

the other day, when I was backing out of the garage, my daughter commented on how well I maneuvered the tricky bend in the driveway…

made me think back to when my beloved left me and I had to get in and out of the garage… at first it was very stressful, but as time has gone on I’ve become comfortable with the process… I still would rather be the one to put her into the garage which makes getting her out simpler, lol…

this was a picture I took of the house, from the car, when I made it out of the driveway after one of the big storms recently… you can sort of see the jog by the garage…

I am getting more comfortable in those big girl pants…

hands…

30 Friday Dec 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, breakfast, hands, kids, the "A", walk, widow

the out-of-town kids have been staying elsewhere but a few days ago they slept over and in the morning we walked to the “A” for breakfast…

had to get a picture of them walking down the street holding hands…

my beloved and I held hands whenever we were out and about… it is one of the things I miss the most…

the “A” is my son-in-law’s favourite place for breakfast and George really liked it as well… we often had breakfast there on weekends….

breakfast was lovely and we enjoyed our walk back to the house…

with the cold and snowy weather I haven’t been out walking nearly as much as usual…

shine…

10 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, bunnies, comfortable, ornaments, purple, shine, star, sun, tracks

was up very early but excited to spot a star out the window… we have had little sunlight for over a week and the sky has been gray day and night… the star meant there was actual visible sky out there… yay…

kept stopping what I was doing to get some shots of the sunshine…

had to put my visor down because of the sun… woohoo…

had some fun with the ornaments on one of the trees…

lots of shine from outside…

it is so beautiful outside with all the snow… have to stop every time I go by a window… more fun from the inside as it has turned very chilly out there… -30 Celsius at the moment…

the critters are making lots of tracks in the garden… have spotted a few squirrels but no bunnies so far, although there are lots of bunny paw prints…

realizing how comfortable those big girl pants are much of the time… I’ve sorted out shovelling and looking after things like the hot tub without the blink of an eye…

but I sure do miss my beloved…

engagement…

04 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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21, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, engagement, inseparable, love at first sight, meeting, ring, widow

recently took part in a conversation about how people met their significant other… reminded me of how our life together began…

forty-seven years ago today my beloved and I got engaged… we took our parents to Rae and Jerry’s for dinner to celebrate his 21st birthday… and announced our engagement at the same time…

we met in the Spring, shared an instant connection and had seen one another every day since… it really was love at first sight… 

he had come over to visit a friend who was living with us at the time… the friend worked at the garage that George’s dad owned and where George also worked…

we found the perfect ring together…

it was actually an engagement ring and the wedding ring which we had joined together…

funny because he had an amount in mind about what it should cost and was insistent on getting something that fit that budget… we picked it and he went in every few weeks to put money down on it so it would be paid off by his birthday;-)… in those days people didn’t buy much on credit…

I haven’t worn it for a number of years but will wear it today as a reminder of our amazing life together…

I have been, and continue to be, blessed…

shower…

02 Friday Dec 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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Baby, beloved, big girl pants, friends, gifts, party, shower, special people, widow

what a lovely time tonight… a group of sixteen gathered to celebrate the coming birth of a baby… pretty cool timing, eh…
had a cup of tea and looked over the space before everyone arrived…

we had lots of fun, conversation, good food and there were some great gifts as well…

this was the first big party that I’ve hosted since my beloved left me…

it might have been here, but there were many others who helped make it a success… from the planning team who decided on each step of preparation, to the friends who came and helped with Christmas decorating, to the ones who set up the planter, to the ones who made the centrepieces, to the ones who came at noon and helped with salad prep, to the ones who picked up the pasta and organized the kitchen… to the ones who brought various bits and pieces of yummy treats and gifts, to the ones who cleaned up and left the house the same as it was before anyone arrived…

my life is filled with such special people… 

down…

26 Wednesday Oct 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, down, feeling, light, sad, sunrise, sunset, triggers, widow

for the last few weeks I have been feeling down… 

missing my beloved a lot… usually when I am struggling with missing him I can spot the triggers… a date… a particular activity…

can’t put my finger on anything in particular right now… and I think that makes it worse…

this morning it was dark when I left for work… and when I checked online it showed the sun rose at 8:09 am and set at 6:15 pm…

so it really is getting darker all the time, sigh… light affects me a lot, or lack of it…

and of course the overcast skies and rain don’t help much either…

find that I sleep more as it gets darker… maybe I want to hibernate, lol…

have been taking vitamin D for the last few weeks and think I need to start using my SAD light on a regular basis…

light and shadow on a lisianthus in the English Garden

dreams…

23 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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alzheimer's, beloved, big girl pants, cancer, cookies, dreams, dying, family, help, memories, play, widow

yesterday we went to a play in the afternoon…

it was about a woman and her adult children and how they dealt with her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s…

I am always amazed at how they can take a few inanimate objects and make them appear to be different things throughout the play…

there were a few moments that brought back memories for me…

they talked about the loss of the husband a year previous and how difficult that and the intervening time had been…

the mother told one of her daughters that she was going to take her own life when she felt the disease was overtaking her… 

that reminded me of my own mother asking me to help her die… she was in palliative care in the end stages of esophageal cancer… nowadays there are some options if a person wants to end their life when they have a terminal illness… there wasn’t anything to help a person when my mom asked me… she also asked if she could come home to die… it was difficult to say I couldn’t help her or bring her home to die… at the time she would have been staying in my daughter’s room and I wasn’t sure my daughter would be able to move back into the room if her grandmother died there…

it was a very powerful play and certainly opened up opportunities for people to discuss these difficult situations…

slept very poorly last night… kept having strange dreams with my beloved in them and then waking up… don’t usually remember dreams… thinking the play triggered them…

we did have these cute pumpkin pie cookies my friend picked up and which were very tasty…

dark…

11 Tuesday Oct 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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aquasize, beloved, big girl pants, conversation, dark, fish and chips, light, widow

yesterday was in a conversation with someone about how dark it is getting in the evening…

they mentioned that by 8 pm the light was fading… sadly tonight as we were coming home from aquasize at 7:25 it was already dark…

was also thinking about how my beloved would make fish and chips for when I’d get home from swimming… I miss that…

this was the light at 7:48 this morning… just getting light out…

addition…

30 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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addition, anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, fun, George, hot tub, kids, Mother's Day, widow

last night I was sitting in the hot tub remembering when my beloved and I would sit out and watch the stars…

for a few years we would rent a hot tub on our anniversary… I was always the one who did this as I liked hot tubs way more than George did, lol… one of my all time favourite pictures is of my oldest grandson in one of the rented tubs… adorable, isn’t it…


brought to mind the fact that we’ve had it for just over seven years… when I was dismissed from my previous employment I received a settlement and used some of that money to buy it…

I think we bought it in March but didn’t get it home and going until Mother’s Day that Spring, partly because we had to fill in a pond and build a deck for it to sit on… 

first time in our hot tub…

I have loved every minute… and often think about what it took to get it…

George grew to enjoy it over time and the kids have all had great fun in it, on their own, or with friends…

it has certainly been a wonderful addition to our garden…

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold delicious dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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