ten years since my beloved left this earth…

as the day has gotten closer I have felt less myself and more out of sorts…

when he died, I felt as though I didn’t love him enough, because why did I keep living without him…

now, this anniversary has come and I miss him so much… oddly, I know I will start to feel better now the day is here…

spent time recently going through and shredding documents from the weeks following his death… it was a treat to see his handwriting on pieces of paper… gave me a warm hug…

of course going through the reminders of all that happened during that time was difficult…

I know there are a few things in my life that would make him sad, but many others that would make him proud of me…

life goes on… those big girl pants, sigh…