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herbiggirlpants

Category Archives: loss

trepidation…

25 Monday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, family, fish, garden, goldfish, grandsons, memories, moments, pond, pump, remembering, trepidation, waterfall, widow

with a bit of trepidation, a couple of days ago I put on my water shoes, climbed into the pond and removed a pail full of leaves and debris from around the sides and bottom…

I was worried about how slippery it might be and hoped I wouldn’t fall and bash my head on the rocks, lol… of course I didn’t, but I was also careful to move slowly and take breaks where I stood still, before moving on to the next area…

I cleaned around the pump and then added water to fill up the pond… it is still losing water, but at a much slower rate… now the problem seems to be the waterfall… it is not flowing as well as previously… possibly when I added the rock, the levelness might have changed, sigh…

the pond looks much better and I decided to try catching the fish in the tank and moving them outdoors… this isn’t a job I have ever done, as usually my beloved did it, with the help of the grandkids… since he’s been gone, my son-in-law has taken over this task, lol…

last night I caught one, and put it outside… took a while for it to find the hiding spot under the bridge, so I stayed and watched until it made it there… didn’t want a raccoon to come along and eat it…

today it took three tries to get the rest moved… when it came to the last, and largest, one, I got the big net from outside… when it was finally in the pail, it couldn’t swim straight because it is so big…

they are now all ensconced in the pond and I may not see them all summer if they decide to spend it all under the bridge…

had quite a mess to clean up in the house after the complicated catching process…

here are the last two joining their pals…

img_8257

img_8257

the pump stopped working so tomorrow I will have to pull it out and wash it down to clear out any bits and pieces… hopefully when it goes back in the waterfall will be stronger and fuller…

dandelions…

22 Friday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, dandelions, flowers, garden, gardening, leaves, moments, mowing, nature, pond, sunshine, widow, yard work

as I look at the dandelions blooming in the front yard and think about the yard work that needs to happen I am really missing my beloved…

he did not appreciate the dandelions and was often out digging or spraying to get rid of them, lol…

I don’t care and figure they will get cut down when the grass is mowed… I also remember all the times that kids and grandkids have brought them to me as gifts;-)…

he also spent hours in the garden, weeding and tidying and rearranging…

he loved playing in the pond;-)… it would not have near the number of leaves in it currently were he around, lol…

shady…

19 Tuesday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, nature, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, cutie, elm, flower, garden, memories, missing, moments, name, purple, shady, walk, widow

another great day…

while I was on a walking tour around my space, I spotted this little cutie in the shade garden…

of course the shade garden is no longer shady as the elm that provided that shade was removed a number of years ago…

I still miss it… and clearly I need a new name for this garden, lol…

losing…

16 Saturday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, family, garden, hose, losing, memories, moments, pond, vanishing, water, waterfall, widow

I’ve been watching the pond since a week ago Friday, when my son-in-law got it running…

for the last few years when the waterfall is going water vanishes from the pond in a slow but steady manner…

same thing this year… Tuesday it was quite low, but the temperature was near zero so I was afraid to use the outside hose to top it up, but I was also afraid to turn it off in case water froze in the pump and wrecked it…

it was still cold Wednesday, but I had to do something otherwise the pump was going to be sucking air and then die…

after removing a connector which had broken over the winter and reattaching the hose to the main tap, I was able to get the hose running slowly and then more quickly once I was sure it wasn’t full of ice…

took quite a while to fill the pond, but I sat in the sun with a jacket on and watched for birds, lol…

then I placed a thin rock behind the waterfall so that the water would fall directly into the pond and not onto the pads behind it…

I was very excited, because I think this might make a difference to the vanishing water…

yesterday I topped it up again, but it is losing water way more slowly…

going to watch and see what happens…

move…

15 Friday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in family, life, loss, moments, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, declutter, home, memories, move, neighbours, remembering, sugar cookies, treat, welcome, widow

I’ve spent a good part of the day watching the activity as the new neighbours move into the house next door…

looks like they are a young couple and they have been coming and going since around 7:30 this morning…

last Friday I watched the moving van arrive and take away all the belongings of the couple who had lived there for over 10 years… well he lived there for that time, and recently got married… since then they have come and gone a number of times to do the last bit of clean up and removal… his adult kids had all been by to fetch their bits and pieces and a couple of days ago a truck came and picked up the hot tub…

it made me think of a couple of things…

first was the day we moved into this house… it was in August of 1973… we had purchased the house from an older couple and on the day we were to move in, we arrived at nine in the morning to discover them sitting at their kitchen table having tea… it appears that they had forgotten they had to be out that day… we were freaking out at our end, because we had to be out of the apartment we had been living in by the end of that day… amazingly, their son arrived and they were out of the house by 3 pm…

second is the thought of what my kids will have to do when I leave the house… we have lived here for 47 years so there is a lot of stuff… I keep thinking about how I need to be decluttering more than I have, although right now isn’t really the time to do that, as organizations are not taking donations at this time, lol…

but it does remind me to get onto that project as soon as possible… we won’t even discuss the state of the garage, which has not been dealt with since my beloved’s death over eight years ago…

I baked sugar cookies to deliver next door and share with a few others…

 

 

 

tank…

02 Saturday May 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, fish, fish tank, garden, moments, murky, pond, pump, sad, tank, widow

a very sad morning here…

three days ago I unplugged the pump on the fish tank as I was on a Zoom call and it was very noisy… I have often done this…

when I plugged it back in, nothing happened… I tried different outlets to no avail…

I decided to put the fish into the pond but had to do some cleaning of it first… got some done, but hurt my back so waited a bit…

they seemed fine while waiting… in the middle of the night it occurred to me that one of the smaller pond pumps might work in the tank…

first thing this morning I was out in the garage finding a pump… brought it in, tested it in the sink and put it into the tank… think it is going to work in the meantime…

the water is murky, which will not likely clear up as currently there is no filter… the fish seem to be swimming about and appear much happier… this pump is even noisier than the last one, lol…

unfortunately, the biggest fish died during the night;-(…

dirty…

30 Thursday Apr 2020

Posted by sulis303 in life, loss, moments, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, Birchwood Toyota, birthday, blessed, car wash, dirty, grandson, halt, Indi, memories, moments, purple, weather, widow

I started this post many weeks ago after Indi had a second bath in just over a week… that was all before the world came to a grinding halt…

after the first bath, she spent a few days with my grandson and I’m not sure what happened, but when I got back into her she was so dirty I couldn’t see out the windows, lol…

she looked beautiful afterwards and I anticipated that the mucky weather would get her dirtied up fairly quickly…

I haven’t been out of the house for 43 days so she’s been hunkered down in the garage although a few weeks ago I did move her onto the driveway for a short time as I cooked steak on the grill…

today I was reminded by Facebook, and an email from Nelson at Birchwood Toyota, that it is her second birthday;-)…

pruning…

19 Sunday Apr 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, fence, garden, growing, happy, lilac, lilac bush, memories, moments, neighbour, pruning, remembering, story, surveyors, widow

today I spent hours sitting in the living room reading and watching the neighbour across the street working on the lilac bush… this is how it looked a few weeks back…

here is how it looked a few years ago when it was blooming…

yesterday they had surveyors out measuring the edges of the property, so I am assuming they are going to put up a fence… the surveyors had to dig into the bush to set their mark…

this morning I spotted him chopping down a bunch of the branches and wondered if he was removing the whole thing…

eventually I went outside and shared the story of that particular bush… maybe twenty-five years ago we removed a lilac from the backyard… we gave a tiny piece to our neighbour who lived in that house…

I shared how her teenage son would take out his frustrations with a golf club on the little bush… so was amazed that it grew up, lol…

the new neighbour advised that he is putting in a fence along the side, but was just pruning the bush so he could work with it without needing a ladder…

here’s a final shot of how it looks now…

glad it is remaining and looking forward to watching it grow;-)…

ready-to-eat…

14 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by sulis303 in business, food, health, life, loss, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, fridge, friends, La Belle Baguette, leftovers, meals, moments, ready-to-eat, shopping, variety, widow

had some excellent meals yesterday…

started with an almond croissant and cheese for breakfast… lunch was a delicious chicken, stuffing and cranberry jelly sandwich on La Belle Baguette sourdough bread… ended the day with ham and scalloped potatoes that a dear friend dropped off…

and I made chicken broth from the chicken carcass…

there is still a great variety of leftovers and ready-to-eat items in the fridge;-)…

breadboard…

11 Saturday Apr 2020

Posted by sulis303 in business, food, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blood sugar, bread, breadboard, delicious, delivery, French toast, hot cross buns, left-handed, memories, stay home, widow

the doorbell rang again today… second day in a row… I was expecting this one;-)…

it was a delivery of bread, croissants and hot cross buns from La Belle Baguette… the hot cross buns were still warm;-)…

I am going to be in trouble with my doctor if I keep eating bread at this rate because it raises my blood sugar… but I had to have a couple of the buns with cheese for my breakfast… very tasty…

then, for supper I made French toast using the bread knife and board that my beloved and I purchased at Victoria Beach many years ago…

the knife is made for left-handed people and fits into the tray portion of the cutting board… it is very cool…

delicious things to eat and fun memories…

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