• Background…
  • Here’s the Scoop!

herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: beloved

time…

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

beloved, commemorate, flies by, Grandpa, my beloved, time, very slow

sometimes time seems to fly by, particularly if you are trying to get something done in a certain period…

other times it is very, very slow, particularly when you are trying to get past something, lol…

and still other times, it goes by at a normal speed…

today, it seems to be going rather slowly… two years ago today, my beloved died…

can’t figure out how to go about commemorating the day… do I sit around and sob all day long… do I pretend to ignore the date and push my way through it…

hard to know what works best…

40 roses to celebrate 40 years...

40 roses to celebrate 40 years…

above is a picture of the flowers George brought me on our 40th anniversary… I was in the hospital with pancreatitis…he was a great romantic…

have had many Facebook messages and a few phone calls… I was fine until I saw one or heard the voice of someone thinking about me… then I burbled like a baby, lol…

tonight the kids here, and in Ottawa, were together by Skype and we had dinner together…

it was crazy… the weather was awful, the supper arrived early, we had trouble getting connected on Skype, the kids in Ottawa had to eat before we connected, Crystal had to leave early for a concert, Jeff arrived late and the little kids were all hyped up, lol… we spent a bit of time talking about things that Grandpa liked to do…

a young friend brought her newborn over for a few snuggles which was lovely…

I wonder how other people celebrate/remember the date of the passing of their beloved…

20140305-210354.jpg

little jobs…

28 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

beloved, big girl pants, garbage, little jobs, recycling

today was garbage and recycling day…

I’ve come to the place where I don’t put out the bins every week… partly because I don’t usually have that much garbage or recycling in one week, but also because it is difficult to get the bins into the back lane with all this snow…

my neighbour snow blows along his garage which is where three of us put our bins… my son-in-law also makes sure it is cleared out when he is over…

I leave the recycling on my side of the lane right in front of the gate so it makes it difficult to get in and out…

often when the kids are over, my grandson brings the bins in for me…

recently I put up a mirror and have been cleaning the bookshelves in the hall…

these are all little jobs that I never had to deal with… I’d come up with something that needed to be done and my beloved would make it happen… I miss that…

I also finally found some hooks that don’t have to be nailed or screwed in… finally got them hung up on the weekend and now can hang my towels on my new purple door…

looks rather pretty…

20140228-223720.jpg

health insurance…

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by sulis303 in life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

beloved, benefits, big girl pants, health insurance, Manulife, no waiting period, Rona, Sun Life

well, after weeks of waiting and comparisons I think I have a plan for my health insurance…

when my beloved left me, RONA provided me with two years of survivor benefits and they run out next Thursday…

I didn’t realize what a complicated process it was to get insurance…

for a while it looked as though I was going to have to wait for three months once I got the insurance…

I was also worried as to whether I would qualify if I had to go through a medical… although I am cancer free it was worrisome if having had uterine cancer would disqualify me from insurance…

I also had no idea about the cost… after speaking with the Sun Life people, where the RONA plan was, I discovered that it would cost me $200 a month for similar benefits to those I’ve had over these last two years… thanks RONA, for those benefits…

eventually I found a broker who was able to find a roll-over program which will cost about $117 a month… no more dental coverage, but medical/pharmaceutical which is more important…

good news, it will take effect next week and there isn’t a waiting period… AND there is no medical required…

those big girl pants have been well used recently…

20140226-220634.jpg

loss…

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

40 years of marriage, beloved, big girl pants, death, devastated, loss, one step at a time, stay positive

a friend lost her mom… it was shocking and awful… didn’t matter that she was in her nineties…

when you lose a loved one, you aren’t prepared, even if you think you are…

we talked for quite a while and she mentioned the most difficult part was sharing the information with her children, and then supporting them as they processed it…

me and my girls...

my girls and I this summer… they are such amazing young women…

brought to mind the very difficult phone calls I had to make when George died… one of my daughters lives here and the other lived at the coast…

I had to pull myself together and call them… I remember calling the one here in the city and praying that her husband was home because I knew she was going to dissolve into a million pieces… and thank goodness, he was home and answered the phone… I was able to know that he was beside her to hold her when she heard the news… I don’t even remember how she told our grandsons…

then I had to call my daughter at the coast… I knew that her husband was across the country and she had no one at home for support… I didn’t even have a friend’s number who I could call to go and be with her… we had to make decisions about whether she would come home right away or wait for the storm that was pounding the coast to abate… would she contact her husband who was writing an exam the following morning or wait until he was finished… would he come back to their home and travel with her here, or would he travel directly here from where he was…

the kids here came immediately to the hospital, although while I waited it seemed like it took forever… the daughter from away had to wait until the next day to come, and her husband did come directly here… finally we were all together…

and then we took one step at a time to get everything done that was needed…

speaking with my friend, I realized that I had blocked out making those phone calls…

in less than a month it will be two years since my beloved died… I am working very hard to stay positive and not fall into a funk… when I start to feel sorry for myself I put on those big girl pants and think about all the special times we had over 40 years… I am amazed that after this amount of time I can still feel devastated…

a young friend recently asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears… not that great I guess, lol… some days it feels as though everyone has moved on with their life… and I have too, until the gaping hole opens…

truly I have been blessed, and that helps me take the next step…

sunset…

09 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

beloved, gorgeous sunset, hand=me overs, no mitts or toques, savour the moment, sundogs, traffic bad, warmer day

got this shot of the sunset tonight… nice to see a blue sky that isn’t filled with sundogs, lol… was discussing with someone today about taking the time to enjoy the moment and not just rushing through the day, week, life, etc., and seeing this sunset reminded me of the importance of taking that moment and savouring it…

sunset tonight...

sunset tonight…

day started off fairly windy but quite warm… with the wind chill it was minus 16 Celsius… everyone was very happy… people even walked around without mitts and toques.. and the sun was shining as well for most of the day… it was lovely…

a bit sick that we think -16 is a heat wave but lovely none the less…

traffic has been brutal for the last number of weeks as the icy and rut-filled roads are causing accidents and everything is, and has been, moving at a snail’s pace…

my head is still full of cold, but I am feeling the slightest bit better… which is very good news… sadly there are many around me who are falling ill with this and I am hoping that they will all be feeling better very soon…

missing my beloved today as I gather up boxes of hand-me overs to go out on the step tomorrow… he would have helped me carry them from the various rooms so they would be ready at the front door in the morning, although he might have also wanted to go through them and save some of the items…

Christmas Day…

25 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

beloved, big girl pants, cake, Christmas Day, gifts

lovely day…

cake for breakfast, followed by a drive across town for presents… and there were lots and lots of them…

return trip home, and a short nap… then we prepared for our dinner and the kids arrived… took a picture of the table all set and ready…

games played while dinner cooked… Jeff arrived after working a 12 hour shift and we had our dinner…

with full tummies we watched as he opened his gifts… then it was home to bed for them and a quiet night of
movies here…

the big kids are already fast asleep… so dark that I couldn’t find the laptop to write this, lol…

made it through another Christmas without my beloved…

20131225-232911.jpg

65…

04 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

65, apple pie, beloved, big girl pants, FaceTimed, family all together, I Miss You, remembered George's birthday, remembering, snow blowing, snowed all day

George would have turned 65 today…

it snowed all day long… Crystal thought it was his revenge, lol…

this morning the snow had covered the steps and the sidewalk I had cleaned twice last night…

the drive home was slow, but steady… the kids came from two directions… Crystal from her work and Jeff and the boys from home…

family all together... Cyndi and Ron are on the phone in Jeff'hand...

family all together… Cyndi and Ron are on the phone in Jeff’s hand…

Cyndi and Ron FaceTimed us… they had burgers from Burger King and little individual apple pies… we had burgers and milkshakes from the Burger Place on Portage, which was George’s favourite…

we ate together and talked about our favourite George story…

apple pie...

apple pie…

Jeff picked up an apple pie from Perkins on the way over and we had that with ice cream for dessert… George did love apple pie…

ice cream and pie getting dished out...

ice cream and pie getting dished out…

after dinner Tavin found our I Miss You storybook and we read it and talked about how we were feeling…

cleared front yard...

cleared front yard…

while we read, Jeff was outside snow blowing… and he figured out why my outside tree wasn’t lit…

a number of people have talked about year two being more difficult than year one… today was hard, but also a day of remembering and celebrating my beloved… it was very good to be with my whole family…

 

a year of blogging…

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Alaska, beloved, blogging, Christmas, Christmas project, cleaned aquarium, George, gift, hand-made gift, lots of important changes, Mexico, one step at a time, Seattle, year of blogs

well, a year ago today I wrote my first blog… the time has both flown past and taken forever, lol…

I’ve posted nearly every day since then… lots of things have taken place over this year…

commemorated George’s birthday for the first time without him… first Christmas without George and with Cyndi and Ron not coming home… took my kids to Mexico for a winter vacation… went on an Alaskan cruise… had two unforgettable days in Seattle… spent some wonderful time on Vancouver Island… had the pond rebuilt… spent some great time in/on the water over the summer… celebrated Cyndi and Ron’s trip through Winnipeg with a fabulous Champagne Bubble Party…

today I finished the Christmas project I’ve been working on with help from a lovely young woman at a local store… then Crystal and all the boys came over early and helped me with a number of jobs around the house… we put up and decorated some small trees, and put up the snow people…

cleaaning the aquarium... took 4 boys to get the job done...

cleaaning the aquarium… took 4 boys to get the job done…

finally, the boys changed the water in the aquarium and cleaned the pump… oh my, it was dirty… George would not be pleased with me, lol… still need to get a new filter but it is already looking much better…

for the last few weeks I have been struggling much more with the loss of my beloved, but today I may have turned the corner…

I’ve been working on a small gift for family and friends… George and I often produced hand-made gifts over the years… we would design them together, and he would usually be the one to make them… I decided to do one this year and enjoyed the process, but was also missing his input… the project is complete and may have helped me realize that he was with me throughout the process…

I have been wearing those big girl pants more and more and some days they fit very nicely… other days they feel enormous…

I will continue to take one step at a time on this new journey…

the leaking pond…

13 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

beloved, big girl pants, leaking pond, memorial, plans to fix problem, pond, reference, swail, waterfall

on Friday I wrote the email that had been sitting waiting for me to make a decision about…

I had been asked to provide a reference to the people who built my new pond…

pump out...

pump out…

the pond is still leaking and I finally took the pump out of the water as I didn’t want it to freeze…

wasn’t sure how to respond to this request, so spent nearly a month thinking about it… finally wrote to the owner mentioning the things that hadn’t gone well, beside the fact that the pond was still leaking…

I copied the person who had sent the reference request, as well as the person who has been trying diligently to fix the leak…

both the owner and the worker were back in touch with me in about half an hour and we set up a meeting…

this afternoon I met with the owner and the person who has been doing most of the work trying to sort out the leakiness…

area where swail will be built...

area where swail will be built…

they plan to put a swail in so that rain water will run toward the cedar and away from the pond… they will over seed the low spots and put in additional pieces of slate if necessary to make sure the path is flat… they are coming tomorrow to get this done…

waterfall in pieces...

waterfall in pieces…

they are hoping to re-position the waterfall and add water tomorrow and check the leak… if they can’t do proper testing because of the cold, they will come back in the spring to open the pond and make sure the fix has worked…

I am feeling much more hopeful and sorry that I wasn’t in touch with them sooner so the weather would have been better for them to get the work done… that water is very cold, and quite hard in some places…

this pond is supposed to be a bit of a memorial to my beloved… I will be happy when it is fixed…

currency…

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

beloved, big girl pants, blessed, currency, life insurance, money, peace of mind, pension, RSP

had a few conversations about money recently…

brought back some memories of when George died and I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep the house or have a life…

George did a good job of ensuring there was sufficient money available for me… there was life insurance money and RSP money and pension money… all of which enabled me to continue my life without any great difficulty… truly I have been blessed…

like others, I am more likely to spend some of it now, as opposed to waiting till I retire, because who knows whether I will be healthy in five or ten years, or even alive…

in January I took all of the kids to Mexico, thanks to some of the life insurance money that I received… I was able to take the Alaskan cruise with some of those funds as well…

now I have slowed the spending pace down a bit, but am thinking about what trip I will take next…

I think about all I learned after he died and I had to deal with insurance companies, credit card companies and government agencies… sadly, if you make any mistakes in the process it can take a very long time to get things sorted out…

but money isn’t everything, as I have seen with a few friends who have lots of it… it doesn’t really bring happiness or health, although it does provide some peace of mind…

there is also the currency of friendship, and health and caring for others…

remember...

remember…

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 515 other subscribers

Previous

Tags

beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold delicious dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    herbiggirlpants
    Join 515 other subscribers

    Have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.

  • herbiggirlpants
    View site in Reader
    Manage subscriptionsSign upLog in
    Report this content
    Collapse this bar
Loading Comments...