Category Archives: loss

mothering…

07 Saturday May 2016

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been thinking of my mom…


for the majority of our lives we did not do well together… she wasn’t able to mother my brother and I due to illness… not sure I understood at the time…


we connected much better during my adult years, and had an extraordinary four months at the end of her life as we travelled her final journey together… 


I was fortunate to be with her every day during that time and learned so much about her… we came to be good friends… 

such a difficult time, but also a blessing…

it appears that Mother’s Day has gone from a day to treat your mom, to a weekend, even week, of excess… all I want is time with my children…

these days, with all this hype about Mother’s Day, I am thinking of all those who don’t necessarily get along with their mothers… or those who mother people but are not considered mothers… 

life is short… give someone a hug… you never know what tomorrow will bring… besides, it feels good;-)…

growth…

06 Friday May 2016

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took out the recycling and garbage this morning and had to come back in and get my camera to take some close ups of the stunning apricot tree…

   
 
beautiful…

was back at the dentist for a filling, sigh… am certainty getting better but still find the whole thing stressful… the dentist was worried about my gag reflex (which is quite special, lol) due to the position of the cavity, but it went well… 

as I walked back to the car I took some shots of the hedges as the leaves are bursting forth with new growth…

  

mid-morning the downtown streets were fairly quiet, so no one looked at me oddly as I stopped to take these pictures…

  

noticed these flowers at the side of the house and thought of all the times my girls brought me bouquets of them…  

my grandsons have also brought me similar bouquets, lol…

as part of my Fridays off I have been trying to meet friends for a meal… today I met up with a very special young woman and her daughter… we rarely have a chance to get together, so it was a great treat…

had those big girl pants on as I went to the restaurant half an hour early and sat enjoying a cup of tea while I waited for them…

  

lots of personal growth taking place… was comfortable being there on my own, which is a huge step…

met my daughter and showed her a fire table that might work in the garden…

  
been looking for just the right one for a long time… this might be it…

had a great call with my sister-in-law and am excited to see her over the weekend as she comes to town for Mother’s Day…

interesting how growth happens… all of a sudden it seems the leaves burst open and at other times it seems like nothing is changing at all… 

look forward to the changes in me as I move forward in this new reality… even after four years it still feels fresh…

hot…

05 Thursday May 2016

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just spent half an hour sitting on the deck reading… while I was there the delicious scent of the the apricot tree down the lane kept wafting over me… some years it has barely any, but this year it is filled with blooms…

  
the temperature at 8 pm was 30 Celsius…

  
crazy hot day… 

went for a walk around 2 and took this shot of one section of the pond by the Millennium Library …

  
was hoping there might be some ducks, but not so far…

happily my knee is feeling a bit better…

going to be hot for sleeping…

knee…

04 Wednesday May 2016

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slept fairly well last night considering how sore my knee was… woke up yesterday morning and it had a bit of a twinge… went to yoga and might have twisted it…

last night I iced it for a while and did wonder if I’d be able to walk on it this morning…

as I rolled out of bed carefully I was reminded of how difficult it was to maneuver after my surgery… and how much I missed George being there to look after me…

the knee was fairly sore but as long as I was on it, it was pretty good… decided I could do a bit on the treadmill but I walked rather slowly…

  
mainly sore when I stand up after sitting for a while… makes me limp a bit when I start moving, lol…

plan to take it easy for the next few days and get it back into shape…

so tonight I treated myself to fish and chips… been craving them for a couple of weeks…

  
sure do love SkiptheDishes… it was delicious and I have half left over for tomorrow’s dinner…

happily discovered that I had the short form census so got that completed in about five minutes…

blossoms…

03 Tuesday May 2016

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this morning I got a few shots of my new hibiscus… 

  
it is so lovely to see blossoms first thing in the morning…

  
flowers always make me happy…

recently someone mentioned that whenever there are flowers around, people notice and comment in a positive way… flowers add warmth to any space… maybe that’s why I like them so much…

another thing that makes me happy is seeing changes in nature…

as I walked up the street tonight I noticed the greening of one of the trees by the creek…

  
spent time tonight as well enjoying those hibiscus blossoms…

funk…

02 Monday May 2016

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been thinking of people I know who are struggling with health issues and loss…

brought back so many memories of when George died and the difficult period following…

makes me quiet and rather sad… not really how I like to be…

  
even the beautiful morning sky couldn’t bring me out of this little funk…

as I think of my friends I am also going to focus on the beauty around me…

  

gardens…

01 Sunday May 2016

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always great fun to turn my beautiful Chihuly calendar from one month to the next…

  

these orbs make me very happy… remind me of the lovely purple ones that the kids gave me for Mother’s Day…

  

still have to put a bit of water in them and then silicone the small hole in each one so they will float… also think I might join the three of them together with some fishing line through the silicone…

had a decadent lunch… hard to believe that a chicken sandwich on flax bread with chips and a salad is decadent, lol… 

bread is really one of the most problematic foods for me… makes my sugar levels go up all of the next day so I have to be very careful how much of it I eat…

  
when I was shopping today the bread really jumped out… my favourite technique is to buy bread, have some, and then feed the rest to the kids when they come for dinner or take it to work the next day… that way I can have the treat but not overdo… the last few days have been quiet as I saw the kids and had dinner with them on Friday… bread’s going to work tomorrow, lol…

have been watching the information about the new Chihuly opening at the Atlanta Botanical Garden… today I came across a great article in Houzz showing pictures of a number of the installations… sure looks awesome…

  
my new frog friend is very talkative… there is a lot of noise coming from the pond area… not sure if there are more there, or whether it can throw its voice…

restful time in the garden…

  
loving the beautiful weather…

relaxing…

30 Saturday Apr 2016

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had a great sleep… yesterday my son-in-law fixed the flapping piece of siding on the house that has been loose for months…

  
it was amazing how noisy it was… the silence is lovely…

while they were cleaning out the pond, he discovered this little guy at the very bottom…

  
I am always excited when we come across critters in the garden… hope he hangs around for the summer…

  
spent the day reading and eating and napping after putting out all the cushions…  

  
moved from chair to lounger to chair throughout the day…

could have just vegged, but went for a walk in the sunshine while my dinner was cooking…

very relaxing day…

rocks…

29 Friday Apr 2016

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what a wonderful day…

met up with my son-in-law and we went in search of rocks for the pond…

we found some river stone for the bottom of the pond and eventually some nice sized fieldstone for around the perimeter as I haven’t felt the flat slate edge worked well…  
 

we also picked up a power washer…

   

came home and someone played with it for quite a while…

 

had lunch on the deck, put together the hammock, enjoyed looking at my new hibiscus, and headed out for more fun…
  

found a rain barrel on sale, some dahlias and three air plants…

  

very happy with the barrel as the garbage can I’d been using sprang a leak at the end of last year… this one is very fancy and can hold plants in the top…

picked up the boys from school and on our way back here, stopped for soft ice cream and found purple gazing balls – 3 different sizes which I think will float in the pond… and the kids bought them for me for Mother’s Day;-)… 

  

this was my first ice cream of the year… woo hoo… ordered Chinese food and while we were waiting for it to arrive, work began on cleaning and re-rocking the pond… 

  
finished filling the pond after they left and got the waterfall going… it sounds wonderful…

great to spend time in the garden… even got to sit out in the chairs for a bit…

bills…

28 Thursday Apr 2016

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seems like there have been a lot of bills that need to be paid lately…

one from the accounting folk who did my taxes… a big one for the taxes… thought we had it figured out and had the right amount being withheld to cover the taxes… not so much… maybe next year…

got my credit card statement and was surprised a bit by how much the exchange turned out to be on purchases in New York… 

spoke with the new cleaning people today and the good news is that I shouldn’t have to give them any more money until August… looking forward to seeing how the house will look when they are done…

have also had the other type of bills – money…

still have some American cash… haven’t quite decided what to do with it… maybe I should plan another trip over the border, lol…

always have some money in my purse because I don’t want to be caught without any cash on me if I need it…

received a postcard with Monet water lilies on it which we stood and admired in MoMA… 

  
I love water lilies… looking forward to seeing some in the pond this summer…