03 Sunday Aug 2025
Posted in family, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, body, family, gone, left, meltdown, memories, moments, remembering, widow
earlier this week I had a bit of a meltdown…
it wasn’t until Wednesday that I realized the reason for the meltdown was my body getting ready for Friday…
would have been our 55th wedding anniversary… we only made it to 42 together…
it is hard to believe that 13 years have gone by since my beloved left me…
01 Friday Aug 2025
Posted in family, health, life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, Uncategorized
Tags
55th, anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, garden, giggles, leaking, love, memories, moments, morning glories, nature, pond, remembering, squirrels, time, widow
today I’ve been giggling over a couple of things as I remember 42 years together, on what should have been our 55th wedding anniversary…
first thing I wandered the garden and took pictures of the morning glories…
some, where they were planted, and some that have just found a spot they like, lol…
I remember my beloved bringing me pictures of the ones blooming in the garden each day when he came to visit me in hospital around our fortieth anniversary…
he was just getting used to the camera on his phone, so it was a big deal for him to take the time to take pictures of flowers…
the second thing is the pond…
it has been leaking for ages, but only when the waterfall is running…
we had the leaking problem for a year or so before he died and it was driving him crazy, trying to figure out the problem…
finally, as I was reading on the back deck, two red squirrels were having a battle over one of the feeders… he and squirrels never got on, so it was funny to have them yelling at each other today…
15 Thursday May 2025
Posted in family, food, garden, health, life, moments, nature, retirement, Uncategorized, weather
Tags
anniversary, beautiful, big girl pants, blessed, consulting, cushions, enjoy, family, garden, happy, moments, nature, outdoor furniture, pots, shade, supper, umbrellas, weather, widow
Sunday was a glorious day… I was up early and put out all the cushions for the first time this year…
on Saturday all the umbrellas, hanging chair and planters made it out of the shed, so it is starting to look like a lovely place to be…
spent the majority of the day outside moving around, finding the shady spots…
eventually I ended up on the main deck…
after a very nice dinner of steak, baked potato and mushrooms, all cooked on the barbecue, I just couldn’t go inside, so I sat in the dark and enjoyed listening to the leaves as the warm wind blew and contemplated what else might happen in the garden…
throughout the day, had fun consulting with my kids in Ottawa about plants for their garden and chatted with them a few times… besides being Mother’s Day, it was also their anniversary;-)…
02 Friday Aug 2024
Posted in family, food, health, life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, Uncategorized, weather
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, furniture, garden, grandson, grass, irrigation, memories, moments, nature, pressure, remembering, sorry, supper, treat, weather, widow
yesterday I woke up feeling a bit sorry for myself…
it would have been our 54th wedding anniversary, but instead it is the 12th year without my beloved…
I went out early and watered the grass as we’ve been working on adding some to bald spots in the garden… my beloved loved it when the grass looked good, lol…
I also ran the irrigation system at the same time… first time I’ve done that and it worked fairly well… the pressure for the grass watering portion was not as strong as usual, but it meant that I could get all the watering done at once…
I turned the PVR on so I wouldn’t miss any Olympics, lol…
then I reorganized the lawn furniture… took a bit of effort to get the lounger where I wanted, but I think it should work for the next while… all of the cushions came out…
while there was still shade, I filled up the four bird feeders and then I sat on the back deck to read and enjoy the garden before it got too hot…
later we went out for supper as a treat from the Ottawa kids;-)…
was feeling much better by the end of the day…
06 Monday Mar 2023
Posted in family, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, difficult, eleven, family, grandson, loss, memories, moments, remembering, struggling, time, widow, writing
this anniversary of my beloved’s death has been harder than usual…
not sure if it is having someone else in the house, going through so many boxes and letting go of things… maybe it’s been seeing his writing on papers as I’ve sorted through files… maybe it is realizing I’ve been without him for a quarter of the time we were together…
you’d think after eleven years it would be less difficult…
whatever the reason, I’ve been struggling…
01 Monday Aug 2022
Posted in family, garden, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, car, family, garden, grandson, memories, moments, morphed, paper flowers, photos, pond, remembering, Technology, time, walk, widow
started the day looking at photos of my beloved…a few tears were shed in the process… we were married 52 years ago today… I still remember looking out the window of the apartment to see him dropping off the decorated car… in those days, getting the car turned out with paper flowers was the thing to do, lol…
then I had a walk around the garden… in the 49 years we’ve been in this space, it has morphed from a square green grass covered area, to a swing set with some cedars, to a small swimming pool space, to a huge sandbox with a two story playhouse, to a parking area for a camper trailer… to a space filled with ponds and lovely gardens…
thanks to the help of Hilda the Gardener, a lawn service, and the kids, it is looking wonderful and I know that he would be pleased…
I am truly blessed, but I miss him every day…
01 Sunday Aug 2021
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, everyday, family, garden, George, hands, happy, health, memories, moments, morning glories, pond, purple, remembering, widow
the Olympics have been a distraction as this day has come closer – what would have been our 51st wedding anniversary…
I’ve spent the day thinking of some moments with my beloved…
the everyday things: changing up the configuration of the ponds; working in the garden as it changed over the years; caring for his lawn, trimming the Virginia creeper, fixing whatever needed attention; making the world’s best French fries, fried egg sandwiches and salads; driving the girls and I everywhere; reading and playing with our grandsons; cleaning the garage, packing the car, barbecuing; the strength of his hands that could wring out a cloth so it was dry, massage a sore neck, scrub a pot perfectly clean, and gently hold my hand when we were out walking…
so many little things…
I’ve been remembering our 40th anniversary… I was in the hospital for an extended period of time and he came every day and brought me pictures he had taken of whatever morning glories had opened on that particular day… I took this photo just yesterday…
he also sent me a basket filled with 40 roses… each night they had to be moved into the hall because their scent was so strong I couldn’t sleep with them in the room, lol…
a friend recently lost his partner and has decided to refer to their anniversary as the first celebration of their 41 years together… what a lovely way to describe it…
today I am also enjoying the sentiment of this beautiful card which I recently received in the mail…
what a blessed life I have lived;-)…
01 Saturday Aug 2020
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, fifty, flowers, George, Locals, memories, moments, remembering, special times, widow
fifty years ago today at 4:30 pm I married the love of my life…
I have been without him for the past nine… below is a photo of our last anniversary together… we had a wonderful dinner at Locals in Courtenay;-)…
those were quite the amazing and wonder-filled forty-two (less four months) years…
I wandered through various files and binders in search of our wedding invitation… it was kind of fun to look at all of these memories… came across a few anniversary cards in the process…
on our fortieth anniversary he brought me forty roses to the hospital… we were supposed to have flown to Courtenay for our vacation just a few days before…
they were amazing and the scent was delightful, although each night they had to be moved into the hall because the perfume overpowered the entire room and it was difficult to sleep, lol…
I have so blessed…
01 Thursday Aug 2019
Posted in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized
Tags
anniversary, barbecue, big girl pants, butterflies, commemorate, family, forty-nine, grandsons, lobster, Memory Stone, stingrays, widow, zoo
I spent the day with my youngest grandson and we had lots of fun… we also talked a fair bit about Grandpa…
he was just three when my beloved died so it is quite amazing what he remembers, although I do try to talk about him often…
hard to figure out how to commemorate what would have been our forty-ninth wedding anniversary…
one of the things we did was find the memory stones that my eldest daughter had put into one of the walkways at Assiniboine Park…
he was even happy to do some selfies which doesn’t always happen…
we saw the butterflies, stingrays, snow leopards, and had a wagon ride… it was hot out… we remembered visits to the zoo with Grandpa and the fun we had…
my eldest grandson arrived after work and we barbecued steak and lobster for our supper…
great way to spend this special day…
05 Tuesday Mar 2019
Posted in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized
Tags
anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, colleagues, flowers, lunch, memories, orchid, potato pancakes, Safeway, samosas, Shrove Tuesday, widow
on this seventh anniversary of losing my beloved, I started the day by going to Safeway and buying flowers and an orchid for work… flowers for the front of the office and some for my space…
was very happy that they had orchids because the last few times I’ve been there haven’t been any…
my beloved always bought me flowers and orchids, particularly in the winter which has often been a difficult time for me…
at noon, I ran out and picked up samosas to share for our lunch… this was something he would do every now and then… seemed like a lovely way to remember him and what made him so special…
it was a great meal, with salad, veggies, hummus, cheese and grapes added by my colleagues…
as it is Shrove Tuesday, pancakes were on the menu for supper and I made potato pancakes, a nod to the world’s best hash brown patties that he would make…
a good day with many lovely memories…
herbiggirlpants 