Tag Archives: beloved

beloved…

04 Thursday Feb 2016

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missing my beloved today…

first thing the toilet was acting up… time was when I would just tell him about it and he would fix whatever the problem was…

not these days…

had to dig out the appropriate equipment and solve the problem myself…

last weekend I had to go and find a different shovel so my shoveler can get down to the cement, and salt, so he could make sure the ground isn’t crazy slippery… also had to pick up a few bulbs so I could replace some burnt out ones…

I find choosing bulbs a very difficult job… there are so many and they seem to be similar but when you get them home they don’t throw the amount of light you expect, or are the wrong strength, or colour… arghhhh…

thankfully my son-in-law helped pick them and looks like they will all work…

many days I just do whatever needs doing, but other days I can barely keep from crying because he isn’t here…

today I happened to read a blog I wrote a year ago… it was all about flowers and how they have always lifted my spirits… also talked about how my beloved made sure there were lots around during January and February…

took this picture today…

  
beautiful… does make me feel better…

starting…

23 Saturday Jan 2016

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spent the morning at MBlog 2016 with a room full of bloggers wanting to grow… many great tips on organizing and content creation… a blog is a conversation advised Kyla Roma… we spent time looking at our own blog and working through our brand and who we wanted to be having the conversation with…

  
as the speaker, Kyla kept us moving forward so that by the end we had lots of content to work with for the coming year… 

I spent time remembering that the reason I started to blog was to share some of my experiences following my husband’s death and my desire to share as I move forward in my life’s journey…

it was energizing to hear the sound of wisdom being shared and see the animated faces of the bloggers as everyone soaked up knowledge…

  
left the event filled with ideas floating around in my head…

once home I watched figure skating on tv and had a nap… hadn’t slept well last night… snow started just after I arrived home… 

  dreamt of my beloved coming in after shovelling and when I woke up thought he was in the basement watching tv… took a few moments to realize that he wasn’t… 

maybe a combination of thinking of his loss, snow falling, and the skating, brought on the dream… my neighbour and I would call one another whenever skating was on to be sure the other didn’t miss any programs… I would watch upstairs while George would watch his programs in the basement… shook me up a little…

beloved…

09 Saturday Jan 2016

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this morning I spent a bit of time in the kitchen… while I was cleaning the stove I was thinking of my beloved…

he had the strongest hands and arms… anything that needed serious scrubbing ended up as his job… that stove would have been spotless had he cleaned it, lol… he could also wring things out so there was no water at all left in them…

 
for breakfast I cooked some spinach in my new cute purple steamer… second time using it and it worked much better than the first time… cleaned up nicely as well… also used some of the frozen spinach for my lunch smoothie… came out great, so I can use frozen next time I run out of fresh, lol…

sun was shining all day, although it was -34 with the wind chill… got a nice shot of a couple of garage roofs which have squirrel paths all over them… not sure I’ve seen tracks on the neighbour’s garage before… 

  
while I was doing laundry I also went through all of the tops in my closet… filled a box with things that are too big… a friend is going to pick them up for a swap event they are having…

  
always happy when I’ve been able to do a bit of decluttering… George would have been proud…

lobster…

31 Thursday Dec 2015

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for most of our married life we would celebrate New Year’s Eve with steak and lobster… started this tradition when we were newly married with a couple of longtime friends…

I can remember the first year, before we had kids, when we were in their yard and the old style charcoal bbq melted the snow all around it… the guys were in their shirtsleeves, it was giving off so much heat…

what great fun we had… over the years we kept up the tradition with appetizers early on, and then the steak and lobster very late in the evening, usually with at least one other couple… for much of the time the girls didn’t participate as New Year’s was our adult celebration…

when the girls were adults, they started to come for the dinner before going out with their friends, so we began eating earlier so it would fit with their plans…

the last few years before George died we would spend the remainder of the evening reading or watching tv and heading to bed after the midnight glass of bubbly…

last year I decided not to have steak and lobster on New Year’s Eve and instead had it on New Year’s Day with the family… I spent a quiet evening, watched fireworks at our community club from the dining room window… tonight I could hear the fireworks at The Forks…

  

I roasted a Cornish hen with mashed potatoes and cauliflower, with a carrot and raisin salad… a lovely remembrance… for years having a Cornish hen was a special treat for the two of us… a tasty reminder of my beloved…

  
the lobster is thawing in preparation for tomorrow’s dinner… 

  
everyone in the family loves it now… not sure why we ever fed it to the little boys, lol…

likely I will be asleep at midnight…

companions…

23 Wednesday Dec 2015

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it was so beautiful outside this morning…

  
even though it was overcast the snow covering everything made it a wonderland…

love to get shots of the pergola which my beloved built along the neighbour’s garage many years ago… there are often beautiful sculptures there…

  
so pretty…

today both kids left for Ottawa, one flying commercial and the other via a military Christmas flight… we had a wonderful five days together but I am always sad to see them go…

  
heading off to Ottawa…

my BS companions came by tonight for our Christmas celebration… there were snacks, baking and gifts galore… a wonderful evening that certainly helped perk me up after the kids had gone…

  
I find I notice the emptiness after I’ve had company for a while… makes perfect sense, and after a few days it doesn’t feel empty… just normal:-)…

great moments have been made today and will be remembered…

door…

10 Thursday Dec 2015

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excited to see the deck covered in a fresh dusting of snow when I opened the back door this morning…

  
it always looks so beautiful when everything is white for that short period of time…

left work a bit early and drove to the edge of the city to take the car back to the dealership…

have been very impressed with their assistance since I purchased the car… 

on Sunday, when I was in a parking lot after shopping, the driver’s door wouldn’t open… at first I thought I was using the wrong button… now there is the key with the door open and close spots and the remote starter with open and close buttons…  

tried them all, many times, but nothing would open the driver’s door… eventually phoned my daughter who suggested I go in and open it from the other side… after that it seemed to work fine… of course the worry is that it might happen again…

called the next day and my sales guy suggested I bring it in so they could check it out…

he wasn’t there today, but the Sales Manager met with me and had a look… of course, everything worked perfectly… we also went over how the remote starter worked… I think I get it now, lol… he advised that I could use either of the buttons to open the door…

he gave me his direct phone number and email address and said if it happened again to call him personally and he would arrange for a rental car and they would test the car until it happened again so they knew what it was and could fix it…

they really do want everything to go well…

it was overcast all day and when I was walking back to the car Shadow really looked purple although the picture doesn’t show it quite as well…

  
thinking my beloved would be proud of me as I slip those big girl pants on more easily each day…

glitter…

06 Sunday Dec 2015

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excellent day…

found the cookies I’d been searching for… got a glittery outfit for an upcoming event… and spent a wonderful afternoon with a friend while we decorated the main floor…

  
so nice to have someone to work with and bringing another eye to the project…

having lived here for over forty years it had become a bit ho hum to put out the decorations… having a designer’s view brought new life to the space…

  
my Advent boxes have taken on a more prominent place, even though they are in the same space, lol…

put George’s stocking in the drawer in the living room table… I think this is a great place to display it and feel his presence…

  
as she was leaving my friend noticed all the glitter on her face and laughed as she described being covered in glitter the whole of the Christmas season when she had her shop…

as the afternoon has turned into evening and it is dark outside it is even more beautiful… I love the glitter of the lights everywhere…

  
these trees drop sequins and glitter everywhere… they go into a special bag so as not to distribute glitter throughout the whole house…

the kids came for supper and brought me cherry surprises – cookies our dear friend and neighbour made every year for our Christmas dinner…

after they headed home I spent time sitting in the living room enjoying the space, and listening to A Jann Arden Christmas while writing my post…

feeling peaceful as we move into the busy days of the season… happy my shopping is complete and the parcels wrapped… just need to add some ribbon to finish them off and see how many I can fit under the trees…

  
anticipating many gentle moments as I remember so many special Christmas seasons with my beloved… 

herbiggirlpants…

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

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today marks 3 years since I started herbiggirlpants… 

as I was sitting out in the hot tub tonight, gazing at the stars, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself… happy that I have kept up blogging on a regular basis, but feeling that I haven’t done as much to help others who are going through the loss of a loved one…

also missing my beloved…

the Advent fairy came this morning with a box full of boxes… spent a few minutes before leaving the house lining them up on the counter…

  
I love presents, which might be why I enjoy Advent so much, lol… day 1 was a lovely purple ball for the tree… which I haven’t put up yet… have plans with a friend to decorate this weekend… excited to see what suggestions she has to change things up…


this is a picture of what the missing magnetic covers looked like… I was able to download it from Facebook this morning…

thinking of so many who I know who are struggling with health issues these days… 

sad…

05 Thursday Nov 2015

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this morning I took this shot of the living room at ten to eight…

  
it is very sad how dark it is in the morning… this is partly due to the fact that the lights are turning off an hour early… will have my son-in-law reprogram them when he is here next, lol…

besides being dark, it has been cold, rainy and overcast, for what seems like forever…

  
been leaving the light on the stove on when I leave home so it isn’t dark when I come into the house after work… how sad is that…

have my S.A.D. light at work and turning it on for a while every morning… hope it will help with the blahs…

  
today I was struck with sadness over the loss of my beloved… it is three years and eight months since his death, but for some reason today it was like it was yesterday… the day jumped out at me…

thanksgiving…

12 Monday Oct 2015

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got picked up by the kids on their way home from a family dinner last night…

had a sleepover at their house and this morning my daughter, a friend of hers, and I, went to Thermea…

  
it was windy first thing when I woke up…

 trees swaying in the backyard…  

blowing in the front…

pouring as we drove there, but we went anyway… when we came out of the locker room the rain had stopped and there were few people around… wind was a bit strong but we had a great time and had most of the areas to ourselves… even got to sit around one of the fire pits…

lovely start to our Thanksgiving day…

from there we popped over to Ikea to take back a few surplus items from their kitchen reno… I usually try not to go to stores on holidays but this was the only time we could get there… 

picked up a couple of cushion covers and a lovely orchid…

 

reminded me of my beloved who was always bringing orchids home to me… seemed like a great thanksgiving treat…
ended the day with a wonderful turkey dinner…