today I was reminded of the couple of times that I was off work for a few months at a time, and another when George died…

once was four years ago when I ended up in hospital with pancreatitis and then had my gall bladder removed… we were supposed to have flown to BC but instead I spent six weeks in the hospital and eight weeks recovering at home… George was with me throughout the whole process and supported me as I dealt with all of the paperwork as I struggled to get some benefits from Service Canada… eventually I jumped through all of the hoops and got a little support… we celebrated our 40th anniversary while I was in the hospital…

then, when he died I went through the process of filling out numerous forms, terrified that I might do something wrong which would mean I wouldn’t get his insurance benefits…

two years ago next week I went through another serious surgery… this time without George… besides having to get through the surgery and recovery on my own, I had to go through the process again to get funding… it was not any easier the second time around…

all of those experiences were very stressful… particularly when already going through a difficult situation…

as I look back on them I realize how strong I actually was… but still remember the fear every time I had to fill out one of those forms…