Category Archives: loss

variety…

17 Wednesday Feb 2016

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over the last few days we have had a variety of weather… really cold days, with a nasty windchill, and slightly warmer ones… then there was time when the snow was melting… crazy…  

there has been quite a bit of overcast sky… on Sunday I caught this picture of the backyard… the bunny is just under the trees…

 
everything was covered in a dusting of snow and looked so pretty…

later in the day the bird feeders in the front yard took centre stage…

  
Monday, the sun was out and I got a couple of shots of it going down behind the clouds across the creek…

 

last evening as I was waiting for a ride to aquasize I spent a lovely few minutes watching the clouds scoot across the sky as the sun was travelling down…

often when I am waiting for a ride I have my phone in hand and am focussing on two or three things at the same time…

not this time… wonderful… 

dinner…

14 Sunday Feb 2016

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had a lovely time yesterday decorating the living room and dining room for Valentine’s Day dinner with the kids…

  
ran out to two different grocery stores in the cold and was home in just over an hour with all the goodies I needed…

instead of steak and lobster, which is our usual special dinner, I decided on a roast with a lobster salad… that way no one would have to go out and bbq the dinner, as I could do all of it inside…

prepared everything today and even had time to sit and read for a bit before the kids arrived… dressed in red, lol…

  
followed a new recipe for the roast which was a little rare, but we finished some of it in the microwave for those who like it a bit more done…  
came out very well… although the little boys weren’t fond of the lemon dressing in the lobster salad (another new recipe)… which was odd because they love lemons…

then we had chocolate mousse cake for dessert… it was a big hit…

  
this is one of my favourite recipes, but I haven’t made it in a very long time… still delicious… I was very good and only had a tiny slice… the boys all had two pieces… they really liked it, lol…

  
our Valentine bracelets…

lights…

13 Saturday Feb 2016

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recently heard a report on the radio about synchronization of the street lights in the city…

this was one of George’s pet peeves and he often commented on how the lights were out of kilter…

  
the commentators talked about the fact that our lights have never been synchronized…. apparently they will be by December, 2016… we are one of the last cities to make this happen…

made me laugh because George assumed they were on a system but just never worked right…

bet he’s chuckling over this, lol…

Valentine…

12 Friday Feb 2016

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I have celebrated all the special days of the year forever and I love doing that… miss my beloved who also enjoyed holidays, particularly Valentine’s Day… he always made sure that both of the girls and I got roses… I often wear the jacket that he gave me on our last Valentine’s day… 

had roses delivered to the office for my colleagues…

  
put them out so everyone could choose one… did it yesterday as four of them were not in today…

  
I enjoy surprising people with treats and they are an amazing group of individuals so it makes me very happy to show them how special each of them is…

  
it is always such fun to see which one each person chooses… makes me happy…

today after lunch when I got back to the office from yoga there was a card and gift on my desk…

  
the card was filled with lovely expressions of thanks from all my colleagues, and a gift certificate to Thermea…

  
what a wonderful surprise… brought me to tears… as I said, a special group of individuals…

a very special Valentine memory…

beloved…

04 Thursday Feb 2016

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missing my beloved today…

first thing the toilet was acting up… time was when I would just tell him about it and he would fix whatever the problem was…

not these days…

had to dig out the appropriate equipment and solve the problem myself…

last weekend I had to go and find a different shovel so my shoveler can get down to the cement, and salt, so he could make sure the ground isn’t crazy slippery… also had to pick up a few bulbs so I could replace some burnt out ones…

I find choosing bulbs a very difficult job… there are so many and they seem to be similar but when you get them home they don’t throw the amount of light you expect, or are the wrong strength, or colour… arghhhh…

thankfully my son-in-law helped pick them and looks like they will all work…

many days I just do whatever needs doing, but other days I can barely keep from crying because he isn’t here…

today I happened to read a blog I wrote a year ago… it was all about flowers and how they have always lifted my spirits… also talked about how my beloved made sure there were lots around during January and February…

took this picture today…

  
beautiful… does make me feel better…

view…

28 Thursday Jan 2016

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woke up at 1:30 am to see the moon shining through the window… just above it and off to the side was a bright planet… a few seconds later it was covered by clouds… again, amazing to wake up at just the right moment to see the beautiful view…

then, on our way to the office, I got this view…

  
a Facebook memory this morning from four years back showed this lovely amaryllis… I had taken the picture looking out the window at the snow…

  
here is a picture of the amaryllis that I bought this year around Christmas… showed a beautiful pale pink flower on the box…

  
sadly, not a single blossom…

but the amazing thing is that the orchid continues to bloom… I so love flowers in the depths of winter…

  
more beautiful moments in my life…

CancerCare…

25 Monday Jan 2016

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was at CancerCare for a bit this afternoon… time for my six month check-up… been nine time for these appointments… will continue twice a year until I hit the fifth anniversary of my surgery… then it will be an annual visit to my own physician…

usually my daughter comes with me but I am getting braver and now can go on my own… usually I take a cab from and to the office so I don’t have to worry about finding a parking spot and getting there on time… seems like those big girl pants are fitting better every day…

only there for an hour today… sometimes it has been two or three hours… I often think about the others in the waiting room… 

are they going to hear a cancer diagnosis and be at the beginning of their care… are they getting news that their treatment isn’t working and they have a finite amount of time left… are they, like me, part way through their 5 year term…

hard to feel bad if I have to wait for a while… I am one of the very lucky ones… the surgery basically removed all of the cancer… but they will continue to check on it until I reach the magic five years out mark…

  
enjoyed this piece of art as I was waiting… produced by nurses who work with cancer patients right here… they are a special group of individuals…

excellent appointment and I will be back in six months…

life is pretty darn good…

starting…

23 Saturday Jan 2016

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spent the morning at MBlog 2016 with a room full of bloggers wanting to grow… many great tips on organizing and content creation… a blog is a conversation advised Kyla Roma… we spent time looking at our own blog and working through our brand and who we wanted to be having the conversation with…

  
as the speaker, Kyla kept us moving forward so that by the end we had lots of content to work with for the coming year… 

I spent time remembering that the reason I started to blog was to share some of my experiences following my husband’s death and my desire to share as I move forward in my life’s journey…

it was energizing to hear the sound of wisdom being shared and see the animated faces of the bloggers as everyone soaked up knowledge…

  
left the event filled with ideas floating around in my head…

once home I watched figure skating on tv and had a nap… hadn’t slept well last night… snow started just after I arrived home… 

  dreamt of my beloved coming in after shovelling and when I woke up thought he was in the basement watching tv… took a few moments to realize that he wasn’t… 

maybe a combination of thinking of his loss, snow falling, and the skating, brought on the dream… my neighbour and I would call one another whenever skating was on to be sure the other didn’t miss any programs… I would watch upstairs while George would watch his programs in the basement… shook me up a little…