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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: alone

melancholy…

11 Tuesday Dec 2018

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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alone, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, Christmas, family, friends, help, many, melancholy, memories, poinsettias, sad, stocking, widow

this can be a melancholy time of year… often we think of those who are gone and won’t be with us to celebrate… I made sure to put my beloved’s stocking out where I could see it and remember the many wonderful celebrations we had…

it also seems to be a time when people are ill or feeling alone…

I was thinking of that when I took pictures of the poinsettias…

when you glance at them from one angle it appears there is only one, all alone… but when you look at them from another point of view you see there are many of them…

when I’m sad, I often get caught up in thinking I am all alone… good to think of the many who are there to support me…

the trick is to remember and be brave enough to tell them I need them… and then to accept the help, lol…

alone…

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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alone, big girl pants, chocolate nibs, food, Goldeye, home, smoothie, snow, sushi, Tea, widow

ate well today… started with smoothies… mine was the usual spinach, yogurt, avocado and almond milk… my daughter’s was banana, frozen red berries, coconut yogurt, a bit of spinach, almond milk, and chocolate nibs…
we made it out of the driveway… there was a good bit of snow in it but I didn’t get stuck…

did a bit of shopping, came home, picked up her luggage and went for sushi on the way to the airport…

yummy… and I didn’t eat too much…

got her to the airport and then went and picked up a few groceries…

made it home and into the garage without getting stuck…

my grandson and his girlfriend came over and he shovelled… 

made them pizza and I had goldeye, salad and radishes…

after supper they headed across town…

I am now home alone… 

with tea and the last two imperial cheese cookies from one of my Christmas gifts…

growth…

09 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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alone, big girl pants, dentist, Elements, growth, happy, lunch, Mona Lisa, restaurant, widow

yesterday and today I was out for lunch with wonderful women…

we were at Mona Lisa yesterday and it was a beautiful and sunny day… there was a little breeze but that kept it from being too hot…

my friend stepped away for a while and I was content to sit and enjoy the time on my own…

today I arrived at elements before my friend and happily sat and enjoyed a cup of tea while waiting for her…

this might not seem like such a big deal, but just four and a half years ago I hadn’t ever been in a restaurant on my own…

yesterday I also went back to the dentist because I thought that a filling from a few months ago still wasn’t quite right… I’d been a couple of weeks ago and they had trimmed the filling down a bit… it took a bit of proding from other people for me to go then, but I went this time on my own… apparently I’d cracked the tooth right next to the one that was just filled, lol… was the most calm I’d ever been as they went ahead and filled that one…
I made trips to the pharmacy and the Apple Store with no stress or desire to call someone to go with me…

feels like I am experiencing some growth… finally, lol…

apparently those big girl pants are getting more comfortable… well, at least some days…

loss…

24 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

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advent calendar, alone, big girl pants, death of parent, dying, loss, missing my beloved, project, remembering, ups and downs

spent a quiet day at home and got some chores taken care of around the house…

spent quite a while trying to find my advent calendar – 2 muffin tins with magnetic covers – which was very frustrating as I had seen it over the summer… did find the reindeer calendar, lol…  will have to actually go through each of the Christmas boxes one night this week…

spent a lovely afternoon working on a project which is coming along very nicely…

thought about friends who have recently lost parents and remembering the loss of our parents… how slowly the process of dying can be, and then how quickly it happens… thinking you are prepared and discovering that you are not at all ready… the guilt of feeling relief that the process is over… the exhaustion…

I have been feeling a bit alone for the last while… missing my beloved more, rather than less, these days…  working hard to remember all the special times with him…

last year at this time we were all focused on our family vacation to Mexico right after Christmas, and I think it helped me keep my mind off Christmas without him… this year I don’t have that distraction, so I am trying to live each moment, whether happy or sad…

finished off my fishy weekend with a lovely dinner of shrimp, left-over garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad…

shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad...

shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes and Caesar salad…

Preparing…

15 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by sulis303 in Uncategorized

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alone, busyness, journey, memories, nativity, sad, waiting

spent much of the day finding, sorting and putting up decorations…

while that was going on, someone from the cable company was in setting up PVRs on the TVs… he had lots of questions about where the cables ran, what computer was hooked up to the system, etc, etc… I was amazed at what I remembered about how George had done the set up and where all the wiring was… that was bittersweet, because it made me miss him more…

during the time he was working on that, I was cleaning the stained glass nativity figures that George made 4 or 5 years ago… they hadn’t been out for a few years

wise ones travelling...

wise ones travelling…

but I came across them while pulling out other Christmas “stuff”… sadly the cow has lost a leg, the bird on her back has fallen off, and the donkey is missing the piece that helps him stand… I will have to see if I can find someone to fix them for me … those darn big girl pants…

Mary and Joseph resting on the journey...

Mary and Joseph resting on the journey…

midway through all of that fun, the Norfolk Pine, which I had bought and decorated instead of bringing out our usual tree, fell over and a number of the ornaments broke… that was just as my son-in-law and grandsons walked in… it was a busy time sweeping up the broken glass and trying to keep the boys away from the mess:-)…

next thing I knew everyone was gone, and I was alone… I miss having George there to discuss all the busyness of the morning… he would have gone out and got the groceries, picked up the last minute items for Christmas and maybe brought back lunch for us… sigh… I know that I am going to be fine, but the season is bringing lots of memories with it and some days those memories seem sadder than others…

shepherd and sheep waiting...

shepherd and sheep waiting…

it’s been one of our (shall we say, my) traditions to put the various participants of the nativity in different places around the room as they travel toward their destination… as times goes on they get closer together and eventually all land in the same spot…  I will miss George checking to see where they might be, but will make sure that the little boys understand the journey this year, and maybe they will be the ones to check the movements when they come to visit…

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson grandsons happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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