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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: feeling

down…

26 Wednesday Oct 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, down, feeling, light, sad, sunrise, sunset, triggers, widow

for the last few weeks I have been feeling down… 

missing my beloved a lot… usually when I am struggling with missing him I can spot the triggers… a date… a particular activity…

can’t put my finger on anything in particular right now… and I think that makes it worse…

this morning it was dark when I left for work… and when I checked online it showed the sun rose at 8:09 am and set at 6:15 pm…

so it really is getting darker all the time, sigh… light affects me a lot, or lack of it…

and of course the overcast skies and rain don’t help much either…

find that I sleep more as it gets darker… maybe I want to hibernate, lol…

have been taking vitamin D for the last few weeks and think I need to start using my SAD light on a regular basis…

light and shadow on a lisianthus in the English Garden

feeling…

22 Sunday May 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, feeling, garden, journey, missing, sound, weeding, widow

lots done in the garden today… also fit in a nap and some sports on tv…


been thinking a lot of my journey lately and missing my beloved…

with over four years on my own some things are coming more easily… eating out on my own… something I would not do for any reason in the before time… getting more and more comfortable doing that… shopping on my own… doing things with the car, like taking it for gas and to get washed, lol…

working in the garden on my own… George was the one who executed so many of my ideas… he also did a lot of the work in the garden… I would do the planting in pots, but he would often do the digging and heavy work and the maintenance… I can mow the grass but also appreciate when others do it…

he was also the weeder… he’d spend time in the garage (lots of time!) and then vanish into an area of the garden and pull weeds… I did not realize how much time he spent doing that, lol…

I miss him in the morning, I miss him during the day, I miss him after work, I miss him in the hot tub and I miss him at night…

I miss talking to him, reviewing the day, getting his opinion… today I don’t think I spoke except on the phone with my daughter for a few minutes… I miss the sound of another person in the house…

the garden misses him too, I think…


maybe it is the season, or spending time in the garden… not sure exactly what it is, but missing him so much… will continue to feel my way through…

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