had a conversation with someone who had recently lost a family member… we were comparing notes…

both of us talked about how slowly the person seemed to go downhill and then how fast the final moments were…

although you think you are prepared, you aren’t…

we talked about how the grief overcomes you at anytime… for sure not when you’d expect it, and the only way forward is to succumb to the feelings and walk through them…

for me, when the moments come, if I can figure out why I’m feeling that way, seems to make it easier to let it wash over me and then I am able to move forward…

sometimes though they just come with no explanation…

it’s been over five years and I can still drop to my knees with the pain on occasion…

for whatever reason I am going through a deep period of sadness… maybe because my beloved did so much of the work in the garden… maybe because it is Spring and a time for new beginnings… not sure, but it is certainly tough…

the garden, which is usually my favourite place to be, is not providing the usual peace and renewal…

one step at a time…

moon rising over the trees last night…