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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "60 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: grief

figure…

20 Saturday Jun 2020

Posted by sulis303 in family, life, loss, moments, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, father figure, Father's Day, figure, friends, grief, hard, memories, photos, remembering, support, traits, widow

Father’s Day… remembering my beloved…

I’ve been thinking a lot about all those who are missing that special person… the one who fits as the father figure… whether a father, husband, brother, son…

it is over eight years since I lost my beloved… you’d think that enough time had passed that it wouldn’t be hard, but today is hard… time doesn’t matter…

this picture popped out in my photos the last week… I’ve been going back to it ever since, lol…

he had many of the same traits as my dad… honest, accepting, caring, hard working, supportive, kind, generous…

good traits for everyone;-)…

if you know someone who has lost their special person, check in with them;-)…

EarthDay…

22 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, moments, nature, Uncategorized, weather

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big girl pants, blessed, deck, EarthDay, garden, grief, moments, nature, sunset, virus, widow, world

today, Earth Day 50, I’ve spent time thinking about our world and how blessed we are to be here…

and how this virus, which has made us all stay home, has given the earth a chance to rest and start recovering from all the grief we have given it…

in my little corner of the world, I spent time watching the birds and squirrels at the bird feeders… after I refilled them…

and also was able to spend some time on the deck in the garden, enjoying the balmy weather…

I’ve been thinking of a few small changes I’ve made at home… the one I am most pleased about is using cloth instead of paper towels… I put away the paper towel holder shortly after arriving back home in January… I’ve been using extra hand towels and facecloths and have a bin for the used ones on the kitchen counter… it has been amazingly simple and is encouraging me to see what other small, but helpful changes I can make…

apparent…

09 Thursday May 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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apparent, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, difficulties, grief, memories, Park, widow

I’ve been thinking of people who I know who are in the midst of difficult times…

sometimes it weighs heavy…

I’ve also been thinking of my beloved… as always the grief comes for no apparent reason… looking forward to getting to the other side…

this is the view from our bench at the Park… was happy to spend a few minutes there last week…

grief…

04 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, eloquent, flowers, grief, memories, reading, sick, walk, well, widow

thinking of so many who are not well these days…

also been doing some reading on grief… it is always comforting to see that others have similar feelings and many of them can express themselves much more eloquently than I…

grief…

05 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, feelings, garden, grief, loss, moments, prepared, sadness, widow

had a conversation with someone who had recently lost a family member… we were comparing notes…

both of us talked about how slowly the person seemed to go downhill and then how fast the final moments were…

although you think you are prepared, you aren’t…

we talked about how the grief overcomes you at anytime… for sure not when you’d expect it, and the only way forward is to succumb to the feelings and walk through them…

for me, when the moments come, if I can figure out why I’m feeling that way, seems to make it easier to let it wash over me and then I am able to move forward…

sometimes though they just come with no explanation…

it’s been over five years and I can still drop to my knees with the pain on occasion…

for whatever reason I am going through a deep period of sadness… maybe because my beloved did so much of the work in the garden… maybe because it is Spring and a time for new beginnings… not sure, but it is certainly tough…

the garden, which is usually my favourite place to be, is not providing the usual peace and renewal…

one step at a time…

moon rising over the trees last night…

elements

10 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, technology, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, Elements, Facebook, grief, Gwen Flowers, snow, swirling, thinking, widow

can’t believe it but it was snowing out again… the elements are not cooperating, sigh…

  
hard to tell from this picture but it was coming down and swirling around thanks to the wind…

no sunshine today…

  
lovely view out the bedroom window last evening…

yesterday I saw a post on Facebook about grief… searched a bit and found it was written by Gwen Flowers… it talked about grief never going away, just learning to incorporate it into your daily life…

in this poem she writes… Grief is not a task to finish and move on, but an element of yourself – an alteration of your being.

an interesting take on it and something that I will have to think about…

  

tears…

15 Saturday Aug 2015

Posted by sulis303 in health, life, nature

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beloved, big girl pants, birds, caterpillar, fish, flowers, garden, grief, pond, tears

day started with breakfast in the garden…

there were lots of birds… chickadees, goldfinches, sparrows, a woodpecker…

   
 
and I was very excited to discover a caterpillar on one of the parsley plants…

  
was enjoying the activity around me when all of a sudden I burst into tears… never know when the grief will hit you… must have sobbed for fifteen minutes before the sadness passed… miss my beloved so much…

did some gardening… one of the jobs was to take out many of the water hyacinth in the pond… couldn’t even tell if there were fish because it was completely covered over…

and discovered two baby fish… great news and they are both very pretty… moved too fast to get a good picture, lol…

got some nice shots of flowers…  

 
these are tiny ones in the pond…
  
morning glory ready to unfurl tomorrow… can’t believe it but the big morning glory didn’t open this morning…

  
love the shape of the mandevilla buds…

out in the garden for a good portion of the day, other than a nap and when it rained a bit…

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