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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Category Archives: loss

writing…

06 Monday Mar 2023

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anniversary, beloved, big girl pants, difficult, eleven, family, grandson, loss, memories, moments, remembering, struggling, time, widow, writing

this anniversary of my beloved’s death has been harder than usual…

not sure if it is having someone else in the house, going through so many boxes and letting go of things… maybe it’s been seeing his writing on papers as I’ve sorted through files… maybe it is realizing I’ve been without him for a quarter of the time we were together…

you’d think after eleven years it would be less difficult…

whatever the reason, I’ve been struggling…

eleven…

05 Sunday Mar 2023

Posted by sulis303 in business, family, life, loss, moments, Photography, retirement, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, bouquet, eleven, family, flowers, gone, memories, moments, Ottawa, purple, remembering, time, treat, widow

got a call from the florist Friday, advising they had a delivery for me…

not long after, the doorbell rang and a parcel was handed to me…

when I removed the packaging, I found a beautiful purple vase filled with flowers… what a treat…

they were from the kids in Ottawa… to celebrate my beloved… today will mark eleven years since he left us…

time has flown by and barely moved…

I am going to enjoy these beautiful flowers and take many, many, photos of them as I remember all the wonderful times we had together…

I have been, and continue to be, blessed…

doorknob…

03 Friday Mar 2023

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized, weather

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

big girl pants, door, doorknob, frozen, garage, garbage, handy, help, how to, moments, nature, neighbour, weather, widow, winter

for weeks now the side door to the garage has been stuck shut… kind of like the doorknob was frozen…

while we were working in the basement, there was lots of garbage which we ended up putting into the garage until the bin was empty… having to go through the side gate and then the main garage door was a pain…

yesterday I talked with my neighbour in the lane and mentioned the problem so today he came by and helped me remove the knob… fairly simple when you know how, lol…

now I will know for next time;-)…

so, a bungee cord will be the fastener for the next while… and, apparently a new door is in the future…

photography…

27 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in business, health, life, loss, moments, nature, Photography, retirement, technology, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

big girl pants, blessed, fun, iPhone, light, memories, moments, nature, Photography, pictures, red, shadows, sunshine, vase, widow

had some fun with shadow pictures… it reminded me of the great photography class I took with a colleague many years ago… we had so much fun…

the vase looks pretty cool in these photos…

enjoying the afternoon sunshine…

wires…

22 Wednesday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in business, life, loss, moments, retirement, technology, Uncategorized, weather

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

big girl pants, blessed, connecting, Google Home, grandson, internet, moments, Technology, tv, weather, widow, wires

my goodness, seemed like a very long day…

MTS came around noon and spent two hours outside (in the very cold weather)… going back and forth many times between a ladder up to wires in the back lane, through the snow, and up the side of the house… eventually, they made a connection which should double the speed of my internet….

then they spent over an hour in the house changing the router and the boxes for the TVs…

none of it seemed to go smoothly, lol…

after they left, we spent another hour updating all of the Google Home devices and we still have a few that are not cooperating…

grouped…

06 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, decorating, grouped, happy, hearts, memories, moments, plants, shelf, widow

hearts are turning up all over the place…

hanging in the front window, and looking so nice when the sun shines through them…

on a shelf, grouped together…

next to a plant to enjoy in the bathroom…

even on a shelf in the kitchen…

they make me smile…

virus…

05 Sunday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in business, family, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, celebrate, decorating, donation, family, health, heart, Life, memories, moments, remember, stairway, virus, widow

been doing a little decorating for February…

it is Heart month and I dug out the hearts from various spots around the house and put them out…

the stairway came out quite nicely;-)…

every time I go up or down the stairs, I am reminded of my beloved…he dealt with a number of heart issues over his last few years…

he had been in good health, until a virus caused serious cardiomyopathy and later he had a quadruple bypass… all of that before he was finally taken with a heart attack… his father also died from a heart attack…

this month I will be making a donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation in celebration of our wonderful life together…

LOVE…

04 Saturday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

big girl pants, blessed, decorating, drawers, February, living room table, love, moments, red, seasons, widow

emptied the living room table a few days ago…

today I brought the LOVE letters down and put them into the squares…

it looks okay, but I am not sure if I am happy with the result…

hmm, may need something else added in…

the orchids look quite nice on it although the O kind of gets lost, lol…

trajectory…

03 Friday Feb 2023

Posted by sulis303 in business, family, garden, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, family, fourteen, garden, grandson, hot tub, memories, moments, remembering, stress, time, trajectory, trauma, widow, work

my youngest grandson just turned fourteen…

brought back a number of memories as his birth changed the trajectory of my life…

because I refused to miss his birth, I ended up leaving a job I had been at for ten years, as the boss wasn’t pleased that I had taken away time from my position… a lot of trauma occurred over the next while and eventually I was walked out of the office…

one good thing that came out of that was the hot tub, as I was awarded a year’s salary due to my wrongful dismissal and purchased it with some of those funds…

there was huge stress and tension and the hot tub has helped with that for many years now;-)…

after a number of months I found the perfect position where I flourished for nearly ten years before my retirement…

lots of things to sift through…

this photo was taken in 2020, when I was still keeping my distance from everyone, but it does show him and the hot tub together, lol…

hard to believe it all began fourteen years ago…

blurry…

22 Sunday Jan 2023

Posted by sulis303 in garden, life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, technology, Uncategorized, weather

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Tags

big girl pants, blessed, blurry, fish, garage cam, goldfish, in the garden, moments, nature, pond, raccoon, tail, Technology, weather, widow

I was surprised to see this on the garage cam yesterday morning…

it is a bit blurry, and at first I thought it was a cat, but then I recognized the tail…

thought these guys were gone for the winter, lol… although I don’t care if they come by when there aren’t any fish in the pond for them to eat;-)…

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson grandsons happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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