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herbiggirlpants

Category Archives: loss

vacillating…

25 Saturday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, technology, Uncategorized, weather

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, Christmas, family, food, garage, gifts, happy, joy, memories, moments, remembering, sadness, sleigh, vacillating, weather, widow

today I’ve been vacillating between joy and sadness…

joy at spending time this morning online with the kids in Ottawa as we opened our gifts;-)… they were in the sleigh, lol…

sadness that I am here alone, even if at my own choice…

joy, at spending time with my grandson and his girlfriend in the garage around the fire pit exchanging presents…

sadness that my beloved isn’t here…

joy, that my dinner was delicious… my favourite roast chicken, homemade stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy and turnip…

it looked a little beige, but tasted delicious…

sadness that I wasn’t able to see the rest of my Winnipeg family…

and back to joy as I remember I am home safe and healthy on this Christmas Day…

yup, up and down…

fairy…

23 Thursday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, technology, Uncategorized, weather

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big girl pants, blessed, Christmas, fairy, garage, garden, grandson, hose, hot tub, moments, nature, neighbour, shovel, snow, snowblower, Technology, treat, water, weather, widow

it snowed quite a bit overnight and when I looked out the bedroom window this morning I thought I had best get out and clear the sidewalk… particularly after my learning earlier about not leaving the snow to get stuck, lol…

when I arrived in the living room the sidewalk was clear;-)… obviously the snow clearing fairy had come by…

that was nice and I sent a text to my neighbour, who may have been that fairy…

later I went and shovelled the deck and hot tub area as the tub needed water… I hadn’t realized how much snow had fallen…

I am so pleased with my extendible hose as it makes adding water much easier…now the hose runs up the stairs and out the back door, instead of through a vent in the wall…

then, while the tub was filling, I shovelled as far back as the garbage can…

a bit later, while I was eating lunch, I heard a snowblower going and thought it was the neighbour behind doing his driveway, but when I checked my garage camera discovered it was the snow clearing fairy cleaning my driveway…

what a generous gift;-)… the driveway is long and this will save my grandson’s back when he stops by for a short garage visit in a few days…

what a kind Christmas gift…

lockdown…

19 Sunday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in business, family, food, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized, weather

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big girl pants, blessed, Christmas, COVID, dinner, family, food, friends, grandson, health, lockdown, moments, time, widow

yesterday I made the decision to go into my own personal lockdown…

it was a very hard decision at this time of year, but I have been struggling with the worry of getting sick after all these months of taking such care…

so, my Monday/Tuesday group will meet by Skype tomorrow for our Christmas celebration… I’d ordered a charcuterie board and I will divide it up with some veggies… two of my friends will pick up gifts and then drop off the snack packages before our call…

lunch and goodies via Skype… just like we’ve done before, lol…

and I won’t be having my grandson over for lunch on Christmas Day, although possibly he will stop by for a short visit in the garage… or go to my daughter’s for Christmas dinner…

presents will be picked up, phone and video calls made…

I have all the things I need in the freezer (I think) to make a lovely chicken dinner on Saturday…

another solo Christmas, and although I will miss everyone, I feel I will be safe…

and at this point that seems the most important thing;-)…

fortunate…

15 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, Uncategorized, weather

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Advent, big girl pants, birds, blessed, Christmas, fortunate, happy, living room, moments, nature, reading, weather, widow

I’ve been thinking a lot about how blessed and fortunate I am… and I’ve been taking time to focus on gratitude…

yesterday I spent a few minutes enjoying this sunrise from the bedroom window…

it was so pretty and the fact that I had the time to enjoy it is such a gift…

today I spent a good portion of the day sitting in the living room, beside the Christmas tree, reading a book by one of my favourite authors, and watching the various birds come and go from the feeders… even though it was foggy outside it was a lovely way to spend time…

I took this photo this evening…

most presents are wrapped, nearly all cards are written, and advent treats have been opened for the day…

now it is off to bed I go;-)…

topple…

08 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in business, life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, elm, moments, nature, pictures, sad, sky, topple, tree, widow

the other day, four trucks took over the street…

I went to look out the window to see what was going on and discovered they were cutting down one of the elm trees on the boulevard…

I watched most of the process…

they had a bucket and the person in it cut down the small branches at the top and they moved it down bit by bit… between cuts, people on the ground gathered up the pieces and put them through the chipper…

finally they put a rope around what was left and there were a number of final cuts as they tried to pull the last 20 feet of it over…

it took quite a few tries to get it to topple over and the ground shook when it landed…

another hole in the sky…

steps…

04 Saturday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, family, memories, moments, remembering, steps, stocking, trees, widow

had a quiet day… spent it remembering all the wonderful Christmas and birthday memories with my beloved… he would have turned 73 today;-)…

just last night I hung up his stocking at the top of the stairs once the small trees were on the steps…

I did giggle a bit, because he had trouble with his balance and he always felt the stuff on the stairs took up all the space on the steps…

I made burgers and fries for dinner which was one of his favourite meals…

it was delicious…

lots of wonderful memories;-)…

magnets…

01 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by sulis303 in family, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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Advent, big girl pants, blessed, Christmas, family, found, fridge, get ready, happy, list, magnets, memories, moments, purple, remembering, widow

a week or so ago, I cleaned all of the various bits and pieces off the front of the fridge…

put the container with the 24 magnets on it ready for Advent… my daughter sent them to me years ago… they covered two muffin tins and each held a tiny treat as they were opened daily during Advent…

then I put them away carefully🤪… and I didn’t find them until last year, lol… I am happy to use them this year, especially as I still knew where they were…

I think I might start with the 24th and then count back until Christmas;-)…

guess I better turn the magnets around, lol…

this morning I put up the first one…

bags…

12 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by sulis303 in business, garden, life, loss, moments, nature, retirement, technology, Uncategorized, weather

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bags, big girl pants, blessed, dahlias, flowers, garden, memories, moments, nature, plants, purple, Technology, tubers, widow

spent time this morning with the dahlia tubers…

when I dug them up a while back, I put them in different containers so I would remember which was which…

I think I got them right, lol…

I’ve read a lot of blogs and watched many videos on how to overwinter the tubers… of course the information is all slightly different…

last year only one of the ones I saved was usable, so we will see what happens with this year’s batch…

each type is in a paper bag and the bags are all in a bin that will go into a cool dark place in the basement…

I’ve left a bit of soil around them and not separated any… and I should check on them a few times to be sure they aren’t getting mouldy… maybe I will be able to find the eyes better in the spring…

fingers crossed…

poppy…

11 Thursday Nov 2021

Posted by sulis303 in family, life, loss, moments, technology, Uncategorized

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big girl pants, blessed, family, memories, moments, poppy, remembering, time, widow

many in my family have served… both my parents, my father-in-law, uncles and my son-in-law… as I watched the service on Parliament Hill, as I have done for many years, I was remembering the sacrifices made by Canadians to make my life safe…

last year I put my poppy on the door as I didn’t leave the house at all…

this year I’ve worn it a few times when I’ve been outside…

then I put it back on the door…

I should have made a larger one for the door…

a moment to remember…

domain…

16 Saturday Oct 2021

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, life, loss, moments, retirement, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, bones, clean, domain, empty, family, fish, fish tank, memories, moments, widow

I have spent a good portion of the day working on the fish tank… it was always my beloved’s domain…

the rocks have been removed… and there were a lot of them…

before supper, there was just a little bit of water in the bottom and I finally got that soaked up… it is empty;-)…

I fried pickerel for my dinner and found two or three bones in it, which made me think of my beloved again…

if there were any bones at all, they would be in his fish, lol…

and he would have made the world’s best French fries to go with it;-)…

funny that I would make fish after working on the tank all day, lol…

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson grandsons happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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