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Tag Archives: beloved

clematis…

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, clematis, flowers, fun, garden, George, moments, purple, treat, widow

been thinking of some fun times with my beloved…

for years we tried to grow clematis… at one point we had one that grew for two years along the neighbour’s garage… then it died off…

we tried everything from putting rocks over the roots, to digging deeper holes, to trying different varieties… but nothing seemed to work…

we would laugh because one of our neighbours had one that took up the whole side of her garage, lol…

for the last seven years or so this clematis has grown up the side of the house… 

I’m always so excited when it comes up again… it is still rather scrawny looking…

but here it is with blossoms that are nearly ready to open… 

what a treat…

grief…

05 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, feelings, garden, grief, loss, moments, prepared, sadness, widow

had a conversation with someone who had recently lost a family member… we were comparing notes…

both of us talked about how slowly the person seemed to go downhill and then how fast the final moments were…

although you think you are prepared, you aren’t…

we talked about how the grief overcomes you at anytime… for sure not when you’d expect it, and the only way forward is to succumb to the feelings and walk through them…

for me, when the moments come, if I can figure out why I’m feeling that way, seems to make it easier to let it wash over me and then I am able to move forward…

sometimes though they just come with no explanation…

it’s been over five years and I can still drop to my knees with the pain on occasion…

for whatever reason I am going through a deep period of sadness… maybe because my beloved did so much of the work in the garden… maybe because it is Spring and a time for new beginnings… not sure, but it is certainly tough…

the garden, which is usually my favourite place to be, is not providing the usual peace and renewal…

one step at a time…

moon rising over the trees last night…

struggle…

02 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, dandelions, fish, frog, garden, neighbours, overwhelmed, planting, struggle, widow

not sure what is going on but I am really struggling with getting the garden planted and cleaned up…

feeling bad for the new neighbours who appear to be gardeners… at this point my yard is the bad one, sigh…

the front looks like a dandelion forest… got some feelers out to find someone to come and mow and whippersnip on a regular basis…

I’ve got all these lovely plants and have had to force myself to get them into the appropriate pot…

this is all I managed today… still have a number that need to be dealt with in the garden and haven’t even picked up plants for the front beds…

was nice to have my frog friend show up…

and tonight the fish even came out of hiding for a while…

feeling overwhelmed and missing my beloved… five years and it feels like yesterday…

orange…

31 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, bloom, garden, George, orange, poppies, widow

on the way out to the garage this morning I spotted orange…

the first two poppies were open… I was on a tight schedule but had to stop, get out my phone and take some pictures…

the poppies self-seed every year… such a welcome sign that spring is really here… many years there might only be five or six that bloom… the year George died there were probably forty… 

amazingly, when I looked at my Facebook feed today, it showed an album from 2012 with pictures of many of the poppies… that was definitely the most we have ever seen in one year… felt it was as though he was with us…

here is my favourite picture from this morning…

missing my beloved…

order…

13 Saturday May 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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bbq, beloved, big girl pants, chicken livers, dahlias, morning glories, order, Pancake House, plant, widow

started my day with Pancake House chicken livers, bacon and potato pancakes via SkipTheDishes… one of my favourite meals and I am so happy that I can just pick up my phone and order using the app…

they arrived within twenty minutes of ordering, were hot and delicious…. my own little Mother’s Day treat…

was waiting for my new BBQ to arrive so had to spend some time watching a few of my PVRed shows, lol… was a bit worried it might not arrive at all… when I ordered it last Saturday they advised they would put it together on Tuesday and then deliver it… called yesterday and they thought it should be delivered today…

pulled a few weeds in the driveway and cleaned up the clematis while waiting for the delivery truck… it arrived and they brought the BBQ into the yard… so cute…

and the sides fold down so it barely takes any room in the garage…

went wild and crazy and planted some dahlia tubers and included some of the morning glories that I started a few weeks ago… the planter will stay in the kitchen until it gets a bit warmer out…

then I’ll add the trellis once it goes outside… considering putting some of the morning glories in the planters that go around the deck… will need to put some filament up for them to climb…  just not sure they will get enough sunlight…

lots of yellow flowers in the front yard… kind of pretty but my beloved would not be pleased…

maybe when the kids are here tomorrow they can do something about them…

got a few things done, chatted with a neighbour and rested… 

another great day… life is good…

frozen…

01 Monday May 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, daughter, decisions, freezer, frozen, garbage, grandson, smell, strong hands, widow

or not…

Saturday was a good day… up at a reasonable time… made a lovely breakfast… I tend to have eggs on the weekend… 

got some laundry done… even scrubbed down the top of the stove… sure do miss George for some jobs and scrubbing is one of them… my arms are wussy but he had strong hands and arms… when he scrubbed a pot it was completely shiny when he was done;-)…

had a break and sat outside and read for a bit… texted with my daughter to see if they were coming for dinner on Sunday and when she advised they were, I headed down to the freezer to pull something out to thaw…

that is when the day took a turn… everything was thawed… as in not frozen, not even cold… bad… it smelled bad and all of it was bad…

my daughter and grandson came over and he – who has a strong stomach and weak nose – unlike his mother and grandmother – took out five bags to the garbage…

then he hosed down and rinsed out the freezer a few times and moved the – now very heavy and completely full – garbage can to the back of the yard… of course Friday was garbage day, so the disgusting smell will be around all week… likely we will need to put some bleach in it for a few days after it gets dumped to get rid of the odour…

so, here’s my freezer today…

waiting to be picked up and taken to the scrap yard…

starting to research a replacement… should I get another chest freezer or go for an upright one…

decisions, decisions…

chores…

21 Friday Apr 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, chores, garden, grocery shopping, recycling, widow, yard waste

the ordinary chores of life are becoming easier…

putting out the garbage and recycling, and even the yard waste, is now just another item on the list of things to do on Thursday evening… or sometimes on Thursday morning when I’m really organized…

I’m already making plans with my grandson for work we need to do in the garden… he has been a great help with the maintenance of the yard…

even making all the meals is getting easier as I am much more organized with shopping for groceries and being sure to have what I need in the fridge and pantry…

still there are days that I don’t want to wear those big girl pants… 

miss my beloved…

bunnies…

16 Sunday Apr 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, bunnies, dinner, Easter, family, grandson, help, moments, treats, widow

this afternoon I watched a bunny run across the neighbour’s yard… it looked tired, lol…

when the kids arrived my son-in-law fixed the floppy siding – which makes so much noise when it comes loose… which happens every now and then… and the garage door which had shifted and wouldn’t stay closed… for the last week I’ve had a stool up against it on the inside of the garage and had to come and go from the front of the house using the rolling door… been a bit of a pain… but, now it is fixed… yay…

the youngest brought me a picture he’d made for grandparents’ day at his school… he shared that he had traced the flower pot which was used as a template by the rest of his classmates;-)…

had picked up chocolate bunnies, gift cards for some of their favourite places, and fancy cookies… 

and the Easter bunny had dropped off some mini eggs in the living and dining rooms…

had a lovely dinner… everyone lent a hand to get the last minute jobs done… my daughter is the meat/poultry carver… my oldest grandson now does the potato mashing, the two younger ones carry things out to the table… after dinner my son-in-law leads the clean-up brigade… by the time they leave the kitchen looks great and there is nothing left for me to do…

here’s how the table looked tonight…

and here’s how it looked last year…

always try to have lots of flowers, and bunnies…

my beloved has been gone five years but this is the sixth Easter without him… and for whatever reason I was missing him especially today…

spent some time thinking of the fun we had over the years as we celebrated Easter together and with the kids…

moments…

camaraderie…

15 Saturday Apr 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, camaraderie, candy, dad, family, flowers, Good Friday, prep, screen, widow

been thinking of my dad a lot over the last few days…

he was ill my entire life and his last four years were really a gift… 

he died on Good Friday nearly thirty years ago… I don’t remember the date but it was in March that year… I had been called to the hospital and realized he really was dying… I left for a short while to pull myself together and after talking with a friend went back and sat with him as he moved from this world to the next… a privilege to share those moments with him…

always amazes me how something brings back the sadness and grief, even after all this time…

he was a special man and taught me so much about being a kind and gentle person and always seeing the good in people…

I remember the times he would sit on the deck and enjoy visiting with family and friends…

today I put the screen into the upstairs hall window, which looks out on that deck… over the winter I take it out so that I can take better pictures, lol…

feels like it is Spring now that the screen is in and the window is open… had the screen door open and enjoyed the gorgeous weather while I was cooking and doing prep work for tomorrow’s Easter dinner…

dad always had candy in his pocket… you could almost hear the wrappers rubbing against one another when he walked, lol…

and as I prepared the space and table I was missing my beloved… he was so good at helping me get ready for special meals… he would have picked up the flowers and anything else needed and looked after a good portion of the cleaning as I worked in the kitchen…

I miss that camaraderie… 

I have been, and continue to be, blessed with the men in my life…

momentous…

05 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, change, children, grandchildren, momentous, moments, parents, tulips, widow

been thinking of the momentous moments in one’s life… and how they change everything…

for me those moments have included…

the moment I met my beloved… he walked into my parents’ house with a friend who was staying with us… from that instant my life changed forever…we were inseparable from that day forward…

the moment we got married… and began our life together… although we were young it felt like the perfect step and started a lifetime of great happiness…

the moment we became parents, both times... and how our lives changed again in the most amazing and wonderful way…

the moment we became grandparents… and how life changing that has been as each one of our grandchildren has come into the world and added joy to our lives…

the moment we became the seniors in our family…when we returned from the hospital after his mom (our last parent) died and our children began looking after us…

the moment my beloved left me… 

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beloved big girl pants birds blessed chocolate Christmas cold delicious dinner family fish flowers food friends fun garden George grandson happy health hibiscus hot tub light lunch memories moments morning glories nature orchid photos pictures plants pond purple rain remembering shopping sky snow sun sunshine supper Technology time treat trees walk water weather widow

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