clematis…

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

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beloved, big girl pants, clematis, flowers, fun, garden, George, moments, purple, treat, widow

been thinking of some fun times with my beloved…

for years we tried to grow clematis… at one point we had one that grew for two years along the neighbour’s garage… then it died off…

we tried everything from putting rocks over the roots, to digging deeper holes, to trying different varieties… but nothing seemed to work…

we would laugh because one of our neighbours had one that took up the whole side of her garage, lol…

for the last seven years or so this clematis has grown up the side of the house…

I’m always so excited when it comes up again… it is still rather scrawny looking…

but here it is with blossoms that are nearly ready to open…

what a treat…

muskrat…

06 Tuesday Jun 2017

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big girl pants, critter, dandelions, garden, grandson, muskrat, widow

on Sunday when my grandson was finishing up mowing the dandelion patch that was the front yard, he came and got us to say something was walking across the yard, maybe a beaver…

we spotted the critter and think it was a muskrat… although it did not stop long enough for me to get a picture…

but we googled and the pictures came up looking like our guest…

since then I keep hearing Muskrat Love in my head…

this is how the front looks now…

grief…

05 Monday Jun 2017

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beloved, big girl pants, feelings, garden, grief, loss, moments, prepared, sadness, widow

had a conversation with someone who had recently lost a family member… we were comparing notes…

both of us talked about how slowly the person seemed to go downhill and then how fast the final moments were…

although you think you are prepared, you aren’t…

we talked about how the grief overcomes you at anytime… for sure not when you’d expect it, and the only way forward is to succumb to the feelings and walk through them…

for me, when the moments come, if I can figure out why I’m feeling that way, seems to make it easier to let it wash over me and then I am able to move forward…

sometimes though they just come with no explanation…

it’s been over five years and I can still drop to my knees with the pain on occasion…

for whatever reason I am going through a deep period of sadness… maybe because my beloved did so much of the work in the garden… maybe because it is Spring and a time for new beginnings… not sure, but it is certainly tough…

the garden, which is usually my favourite place to be, is not providing the usual peace and renewal…

one step at a time…

moon rising over the trees last night…

struggle…

02 Friday Jun 2017

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beloved, big girl pants, dandelions, fish, frog, garden, neighbours, overwhelmed, planting, struggle, widow

not sure what is going on but I am really struggling with getting the garden planted and cleaned up…

feeling bad for the new neighbours who appear to be gardeners… at this point my yard is the bad one, sigh…

the front looks like a dandelion forest… got some feelers out to find someone to come and mow and whippersnip on a regular basis…

I’ve got all these lovely plants and have had to force myself to get them into the appropriate pot…

this is all I managed today… still have a number that need to be dealt with in the garden and haven’t even picked up plants for the front beds…

was nice to have my frog friend show up…

and tonight the fish even came out of hiding for a while…

feeling overwhelmed and missing my beloved… five years and it feels like yesterday…

orange…

31 Wednesday May 2017

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beloved, big girl pants, bloom, garden, George, orange, poppies, widow

on the way out to the garage this morning I spotted orange…

the first two poppies were open… I was on a tight schedule but had to stop, get out my phone and take some pictures…

the poppies self-seed every year… such a welcome sign that spring is really here… many years there might only be five or six that bloom… the year George died there were probably forty…

amazingly, when I looked at my Facebook feed today, it showed an album from 2012 with pictures of many of the poppies… that was definitely the most we have ever seen in one year… felt it was as though he was with us…

here is my favourite picture from this morning…

missing my beloved…

moisture…

28 Sunday May 2017

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big girl pants, garden, moisture, plants, purple, rain, sun, widow

another moisture laden day…

ended up outside for three different planting periods…

first time around got quite a bit planted although it always takes longer when trying new things or using new pots…

decided to put the four varieties of tomatoes into one pot on the deck… only one full size tomato… another is a patio size, which is a bit smaller and finally two types of small ones…

happy with all the purple pots… think they are going to brighten up the garden…

the rain came again so took a break and did some tv watching and napping…

bit more done when there was another break in the weather… just taking off my jacket as the sun was very warm and it started to rain again… moved the morning glories outside but didn’t get them into the planters…

looking pretty nice out there, even in the rain…

still quite a few plants to pot… this weather will give me a little time to think about where to put them… one problem is that I’ve bought mostly small plants, so may have to go out and get a few more taller ones;-)…

mowing…

27 Saturday May 2017

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big girl pants, dandelions, fish, garden, mowimg, plants, read, shopping, widow

spent some time in the garden this morning… the dandelions were so tall that I couldn’t bear to sit outside looking at them so I mowed the grass…

then I pulled weeds and set out the cushions before I sat and read for quite a while…

this robin came to visit a few times while I was reading… didn’t mind my being in the garden at all, lol…

the most exciting thing was that I saw the fish for the first time since they moved outside… the water is so high in the pond that I can’t look under the bridge and that is where they usually hang out… been worried that something had got them because I haven’t seen a single one of them for weeks… all of a sudden, there they were at the base of the waterfall searching for something to eat… and then they were gone again…

it was lovely… and then it started to spit so I ran around putting everything back into the garage… by the time I’d done all that, the rain had stopped but I went in and had a nap, lol… seemed like the thing to do…

got up and went plant shopping with my daughter… we went to a few places and found a couple of plants…

hung the baskets, had supper on the deck and finished my book…

planning on doing some planting in the morning… not supposed to be too warm or sunny but will set up in the garage and work on pots and planters…

really…

20 Saturday May 2017

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big girl pants, Chicago, colours, garden, mug, mussels, plants, purple, really, shopping, widow

started my day with tea in my newest mug… it’s the one my grandson brought me from Chicago…

feels nice in my hand and keeps the tea warm…

out for lunch with my daughter…

had spicy mussels with flash fried Brussels sprouts… yummy…

went window shopping for plants for the garden… did pick up a couple of butterfly bushes… they are white and will smell like vanilla… not exactly the type I was wanting but these are supposed to be perennials… we will see… also got two water hyacinth… will keep them in the house till it is just a bit warmer…

have decided that I am going to focus on white, purple and blue for the colours in the garden…

thanks to both of my girls I found some purple pots… been looking for a while and haven’t seen any… on the phone this morning with my Ottawa daughter she mentioned that she’d seen some at Loblaws… my Winnipeg daughter took me to Superstore this afternoon while we were out and about and I found a bunch…

very happy because my pots have been cracking and breaking for the last year or so…

now to fill them up… as soon as the weather makes up its mind that it really is Spring, lol…

emerging…

05 Friday May 2017

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big girl pants, breakfast, daffodils, emerging, garden, hot tub, nap, Park, walk, widow, wonderful

had the most wonderful day off…

got up early, had a cup of tea, and went for a walk to the Park… it was a beautiful morning…

I’ve never seen debris up against the bridge before…

had breakfast on my own and watched geese and ducks while I enjoyed my meal…

then I wandered through the English and Leo Mol Gardens with my camera in hand…

plants are springing up and the daffodils were blooming… haven’t been for a while and happy to spend time in the Gardens and see the life emerging…