Category Archives: loss

Dynasty…

01 Wednesday Jun 2022

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great wander around the garden before the rain a few days ago…

excited to discover the milkweed is growing in the ground and in the planter where it did very well last year…

it appears that one of the dahlias may be poking through the soil…

and most exciting of all, the Monarch Dark Dynasty Butterfly Bush has new growth on it… this is huge as I’ve tried to overwinter them before without success…

right now only one of the pair shows any signs of buds, although that one came outside earlier than the other… fingers crossed…

restaurant…

19 Tuesday Apr 2022

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today, I went to a restaurant… first time in over two years…

I wasn’t sure how I would feel… whether I’d be nervous or stressed out, lol… happily I didn’t feel either of those things…

we arrived and there were few people in the space, so that was good…

we were seated near the windows and watched many geese fly up and over the building…

our server, one of my favourites, was masked and pleasant… after breakfast I ordered a beet salad and some falafels to have for my lunch…

it was nice to do something semi-normal…

a bit later in the day a friend dropped by with a beautiful handmade birthday card and we had a brief chat on the steps…

a bit of shovelling, a nap, and reading took up the rest of the day…

own…

26 Saturday Mar 2022

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we’ve been out in the hot tub every night since my daughter arrived for this short vacation… I have been enjoying the company…

it has been great as I hadn’t been in it for quite a while… the deep snow had kept me from opening it up…

today has been quiet as she headed out to visit with friends and is spending the night away…

I must say that time in the hot tub before bed really improves my sleep, so I am going to go out on my own tonight, lol…

rime…

18 Friday Mar 2022

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I was surprised this morning when I looked out the window and spotted the hoarfrost on the trees…

it is such a gift of nature and looks so delicate (apparently like feathers)… I spent some time researching the difference between rime ice and hoarfrost, once I came across the term, lol… still not a hundred percent sure I understand…

hoarfrost always reminds me of my last drive with my beloved… he drove me around the Park and a few neighbourhoods so that I could take pictures of the beautiful designs that morning…

it was just a few days before his death…

but now, the sight of hoarfrost on the trees reminds me of wonderful times together;-)… I truly am blessed…

Build-A-Bear…

10 Thursday Mar 2022

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this morning I watched a couple of bunnies on the deck looking for something to eat, so I tossed out a few carrots that I broke up for them…

I checked back a bit later and discovered one enjoying the treat…

reminded me of the bunny in the den… it is one of those Build-A-Bear animals that the boys and I had made when my beloved had his heart surgery…

the staff in the cardiology unit had recommended a pillow for him to hold against his chest when he coughed and we thought the bunny would be great… it worked well and he liked it;-)…

it wears scrubs, although a few pieces of the clothing have gone missing, lol…

it is a sweet reminder of a difficult, but special, time…

tp-link…

07 Monday Mar 2022

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I am so happy…

over the last week more and more of my Google Home products have gone offline…

at first it was 2 tp- link plugs, then a switch, then more of the plugs and finally my Geeni cameras… made me crazy…

and then the printer stopped because it couldn’t find the wifi…

my grandson got the printer going… yay…

the suggestion was that I should delete and then add all of the products back in… I did not want to do that… my plan was to call my provider to see if there was an issue with my internet…

was waiting for another call so didn’t get around to contacting the provider…

just for fun, I went in and turned off my wifi and then turned it back on…

getting ready for bed, I went to turn one of the plugs off manually only to discover that its light was blue, not the orange that meant it wasn’t connected…

checked all the others and they were fine too…

yay 😀…

shredding…

05 Saturday Mar 2022

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ten years since my beloved left this earth…

as the day has gotten closer I have felt less myself and more out of sorts…

when he died, I felt as though I didn’t love him enough, because why did I keep living without him…

now, this anniversary has come and I miss him so much… oddly, I know I will start to feel better now the day is here…

spent time recently going through and shredding documents from the weeks following his death… it was a treat to see his handwriting on pieces of paper… gave me a warm hug…

of course going through the reminders of all that happened during that time was difficult…

I know there are a few things in my life that would make him sad, but many others that would make him proud of me…

life goes on… those big girl pants, sigh…

fallen…

21 Monday Feb 2022

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after all these days of snow I hadn’t felt like that much had fallen…

this was the garden Saturday at 3:06 pm…

and this was the same spot yesterday at 7:40 am… the gazing ball on its stand is no longer visible…

I guess more came down than I thought, lol…

the last few years we haven’t had much snow, but we appear to be making up for that now… a number of reports are suggesting that we’ve hit some records…

in this photo from yesterday, you can see how high the snow is on the railing… and the lovely drifts along the sidewalk…

knee-deep…

20 Sunday Feb 2022

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got up at 5:30 am to watch the Olympics closing ceremony…

while I was cozied up in the bed, I could hear the furnace turn on and then off, and on and off, and on and off… I knew immediately what the issue was…

for the last three days we have been under a blizzard warning… I hadn’t thought that much snow had fallen, but I was wrong…

put on leggings, socks and my outer gear and went out the front door with a shovel and a straightened coat hanger… over the last years I have learned how to clean out the vents and be sure there is no snow inside them…

the snow was knee-deep in many places and I didn’t shovel, I just climbed through…

the vents weren’t visible except for a small hole where the exhaust vent was still blowing out air… the intake was under about eight inches of snow…

only took about ten minutes to dig them out… the snow was tossed into the middle of the driveway because there isn’t anywhere else to put it… did a quick swipe with the hanger and headed back in…

once I was in the house I could hear the furnace working… yay…

climbed back under the covers and watched the rest of the show, although about half an hour later my legs started to feel cold…

another example of those big girl pants, lol…

goosebumps…

17 Thursday Feb 2022

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got a message today from someone who I had given a recommendation of places to visit on Vancouver island…

I had suggested Cathedral Grove in MacMillan Provincial Park… they thought it was amazing…

it is one of my favourite places ever…

within steps of the highway all traffic noises are gone and the walk through the giant trees is meditative and soul filling…

these pictures are from a visit with my beloved in the summer of 2011…

still gives me goosebumps when I remember what a special place it was…