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herbiggirlpants

~ the new reality of a "70 something"

herbiggirlpants

Tag Archives: beloved

beginnings…

01 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by sulis303 in health, life, loss, moments, Uncategorized

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beginnings, beloved, big girl pants, endings, life changes, moments, opportunities, widow

I’ve been thinking of beginnings and endings a lot lately…

a friend recently lost a loved one and it has reminded me of my own story…

the ending of my beloved’s time here was a very difficult matter to deal with…

and I think of the beginning of my new journey and how things have changed in my life…

I am slightly more independent… can even park in the garage with ease, lol… have been able to travel… so many positive changes…

everyday is a new opportunity…

milestone…

30 Monday Sep 2019

Posted by sulis303 in business, food, life, loss, moments, Uncategorized

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. soup, 10 years, beloved, big girl pants, family, flowers, memories, milestone, treats, widow, workplace

today marked ten years at my current workplace… a lot has happened in those ten years and these people are part of my family…

a big deal to me… and so I had lots of fun preparing for the day…

I wrote notes, distributed flowers, and made a lovely lunch of Thai Shrimp soup along with salad, fresh bread and tarts from La Belle Baguette for dessert…

not every day you can celebrate such a milestone…

it is such fun to walk around and see flowers everywhere;-)…

my beloved would have enjoyed helping me with this special event… I truly am blessed…

cane…

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, cane, family, friend, memories, parents, parties, widow

been thinking a lot of our dear friend Margaret…

she was my parents’ neighbour and our good friend since I was about fifteen…

I remember our Chinese food parties on payday Fridays… my beloved and I would go over and mom and dad would come from next door and we would have a delicious dinner…

she enjoyed the girls when they came along and loved spending time with them…

the cane I am using belonged to her…

I can remember saying to her later in her life “you have to put the cane on the ground, not just carry it”…

lovely memories…

2500…

19 Thursday Sep 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, life, loss, Photography, Uncategorized

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2500, beloved, big girl pants, blessed, blogs, Life, memories, missing, moments, moving forward, one step at a time, time, widow

today marks my 2,500th blog post…

seems like an amazing accomplishment for me…

hard to believe that on December 1st, 2012, I started writing this blog so that I could share about the changes to my life and the things I’ve had to do following the death of my beloved…

there was such a learning curve about all the issues I have had to deal with as a widow…

it has morphed into more of a daily journal of my life and what I see around me…

it is also hard to realize that my beloved has been gone for 7 1/2 years – that’s 90 months – 2,751 days… an instant… forever…

although I am truly blessed, I sure do miss him…

struggles…

21 Wednesday Aug 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, blessed, circles, cloud, friends, garden, moments, struggles, widow

was thinking of people I’ve known who always seemed to have a dark cloud hanging over them…

feels like that is happening to a few of those in my circles.. lots of struggles and loss…

missing my beloved… this photo reminds me of a place where we would always find peace and serenity together…

working on how best to be present for those struggling…

emotions…

15 Thursday Aug 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, travel, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, emotions, garden, hidden, house, iPhone, key, missing, safe, widow

the other night when I got dropped off at home I couldn’t find my house key…

stood at the back of my friend’s vehicle searching through my bag in the dark, dumping everything out, with no success…

they waited while I turned on my iPhone flashlight and headed to the back of the house to dig out the spare key…

brought back lots of emotions because when my beloved died I realized that I couldn’t just call him if I lost or forgot it… found a spot to stash it so I would be safe if I came home without a way to get in…

rather happy I was able to find it as I haven’t needed to use it since I put it in its hiding spot…

it was a bit dirty, but worked;-)…

and the next morning I put it right back to keep me safe…

trimming…

11 Sunday Aug 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, garden, hot tub, tidy, trimming, virginia creeper, widow

the Virginia creeper had completely taken over beside the hot tub… the tv room was basically always dark because the window was covered with vines…

I’ve tried to get it trimmed down by others, but timing hasn’t worked…

today I did it myself… put on those big girl pants and climbed onto the edge of the hot tub…

afterwards I went back into my photos to find some I knew were there of my beloved trimming the same area…

these photos were from July 2011… it is always bittersweet when I look through old pictures… fun to see and relive the memories, but missing him at the same time…

ciabatta…

10 Saturday Aug 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, bread, ciabatta, diabetes, Miracle Whip, tomato, treat, widow

since my diabetes diagnosis I have tried to stay away from bread except for rare occasions…

today I made a tomato sandwich on a mini olive ciabatta… the only other thing on it was Miracle Whip…

I picked up the bread yesterday and had a tomato from our CSA box this week…

it was a delicious treat…

reminded me of all the wonderful tomato sandwiches that my beloved made for me over the years… took the longest time to realize the reason they were so delicious was the amount of Miracle Whip slathered on them, lol…

bath…

09 Friday Aug 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, travel, Uncategorized

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bath, beloved, big girl pants, bugs, car wash, credit union, errands, eTransfer, Indi, insurance, shopping, widow

this morning I ran a number of errands…

paid for my house insurance… it had been in both our names, but after my beloved died and they changed it to my name only, the birthdate was still his… cost me more money when I advised that I wasn’t that age, lol…

also changed over my car insurance to have the payments come out of the bank automatically, as MPI has stopped taking the monthly amounts from credit cards…

went to the credit union where they put a cheque in and immediately made a payment onto my credit card… handy, as there was no need to wait any additional time… added a few accounts and discovered that I could send up to $3,000 via eTransfer, although I am still ticked that they charge for that service…

took Indi for a bath, which she really needed as she’s been driven to Kenora twice in the last while and was covered in bugs…

finally picked up a few groceries before heading home… nice to get all that over with…

then there was eating, tv watching and napping…

unplugged…

27 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by sulis303 in family, food, health, life, loss, nature, Photography, technology, Uncategorized

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beloved, big girl pants, droplets, garden, grass, hands, maintain, memories, pond, unplugged, widow

lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time thinking of my beloved…

the other day I was reminded of how strong his hands were… he could open a jar or wring out a cloth without the least bit of effort, lol…

he loved the garden and spent hours puttering in it… he was always working on the grass as well, to ensure there were no weeds in it… I have completely failed at that…

another one of his favourite things was the pond… he loved to maintain it and look after the fish…

my son-in-law and grandson love it as well, and happily have been helping maintain it…

today, I tried to clean the pump as it was clogged… I couldn’t lift it out of the pond, so I put one of my chair cushions on the deck and laid on it while pulling out the gunk… turned the power back on and there was a fair bit of water coming from the top of the pump… turned it off and pushed the pieces together after a conversation with my son-in-law… turned it back on again and all of a sudden the hose popped off and there was water spraying everywhere, lol…

eventually got it unplugged and am going to leave it alone until he stops by tomorrow… my beloved would have had it fixed in no time…

the droplets were refreshing, lol…

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