Tag Archives: beloved

cane…

21 Saturday Sep 2019

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been thinking a lot of our dear friend Margaret…

she was my parents’ neighbour and our good friend since I was about fifteen…

I remember our Chinese food parties on payday Fridays… my beloved and I would go over and mom and dad would come from next door and we would have a delicious dinner…

she enjoyed the girls when they came along and loved spending time with them…

the cane I am using belonged to her…

I can remember saying to her later in her life “you have to put the cane on the ground, not just carry it”…

lovely memories…

2500…

19 Thursday Sep 2019

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today marks my 2,500th blog post…

seems like an amazing accomplishment for me…

hard to believe that on December 1st, 2012, I started writing this blog so that I could share about the changes to my life and the things I’ve had to do following the death of my beloved…

there was such a learning curve about all the issues I have had to deal with as a widow…

it has morphed into more of a daily journal of my life and what I see around me…

it is also hard to realize that my beloved has been gone for 7 1/2 years – that’s 90 months – 2,751 days… an instant… forever…

although I am truly blessed, I sure do miss him…

struggles…

21 Wednesday Aug 2019

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was thinking of people I’ve known who always seemed to have a dark cloud hanging over them…

feels like that is happening to a few of those in my circles.. lots of struggles and loss…

missing my beloved… this photo reminds me of a place where we would always find peace and serenity together…

working on how best to be present for those struggling…

emotions…

15 Thursday Aug 2019

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the other night when I got dropped off at home I couldn’t find my house key…

stood at the back of my friend’s vehicle searching through my bag in the dark, dumping everything out, with no success…

they waited while I turned on my iPhone flashlight and headed to the back of the house to dig out the spare key…

brought back lots of emotions because when my beloved died I realized that I couldn’t just call him if I lost or forgot it… found a spot to stash it so I would be safe if I came home without a way to get in…

rather happy I was able to find it as I haven’t needed to use it since I put it in its hiding spot…

it was a bit dirty, but worked;-)…

and the next morning I put it right back to keep me safe…

trimming…

11 Sunday Aug 2019

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the Virginia creeper had completely taken over beside the hot tub… the tv room was basically always dark because the window was covered with vines…

I’ve tried to get it trimmed down by others, but timing hasn’t worked…

today I did it myself… put on those big girl pants and climbed onto the edge of the hot tub…

afterwards I went back into my photos to find some I knew were there of my beloved trimming the same area…

these photos were from July 2011… it is always bittersweet when I look through old pictures… fun to see and relive the memories, but missing him at the same time…

ciabatta…

10 Saturday Aug 2019

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since my diabetes diagnosis I have tried to stay away from bread except for rare occasions…

today I made a tomato sandwich on a mini olive ciabatta… the only other thing on it was Miracle Whip…

I picked up the bread yesterday and had a tomato from our CSA box this week…

it was a delicious treat…

reminded me of all the wonderful tomato sandwiches that my beloved made for me over the years… took the longest time to realize the reason they were so delicious was the amount of Miracle Whip slathered on them, lol…

bath…

09 Friday Aug 2019

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this morning I ran a number of errands…

paid for my house insurance… it had been in both our names, but after my beloved died and they changed it to my name only, the birthdate was still his… cost me more money when I advised that I wasn’t that age, lol…

also changed over my car insurance to have the payments come out of the bank automatically, as MPI has stopped taking the monthly amounts from credit cards…

went to the credit union where they put a cheque in and immediately made a payment onto my credit card… handy, as there was no need to wait any additional time… added a few accounts and discovered that I could send up to $3,000 via eTransfer, although I am still ticked that they charge for that service…

took Indi for a bath, which she really needed as she’s been driven to Kenora twice in the last while and was covered in bugs…

finally picked up a few groceries before heading home… nice to get all that over with…

then there was eating, tv watching and napping…

unplugged…

27 Saturday Jul 2019

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lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time thinking of my beloved…

the other day I was reminded of how strong his hands were… he could open a jar or wring out a cloth without the least bit of effort, lol…

he loved the garden and spent hours puttering in it… he was always working on the grass as well, to ensure there were no weeds in it… I have completely failed at that…

another one of his favourite things was the pond… he loved to maintain it and look after the fish…

my son-in-law and grandson love it as well, and happily have been helping maintain it…

today, I tried to clean the pump as it was clogged… I couldn’t lift it out of the pond, so I put one of my chair cushions on the deck and laid on it while pulling out the gunk… turned the power back on and there was a fair bit of water coming from the top of the pump… turned it off and pushed the pieces together after a conversation with my son-in-law… turned it back on again and all of a sudden the hose popped off and there was water spraying everywhere, lol…

eventually got it unplugged and am going to leave it alone until he stops by tomorrow… my beloved would have had it fixed in no time…

the droplets were refreshing, lol…

fought…

26 Friday Jul 2019

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had a great few minutes this morning in the garden… checked out the flowers and watched for birds… lots of flowers, no birds…

as I waited for my ride, at least three squirrels fought over the feeder in the front yard…

I cannot explain how much I love spending time enjoying nature…

I miss being able to share this love with my beloved…

drugs…

24 Wednesday Jul 2019

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been thinking of illness and recovery lately…

unfortunately many of those I know are dealing with difficult life situations…

today I was reminded that nine years ago I began a 42 day stint in the hospital with pancreatitis…

waking up in the middle of a procedure and remembering how a nurse had said that if that happened they would put me under again quickly and I would be okay… and I was, but it sure was scary…

it really was the worst I have ever felt… medications caused numerous problems and confirmed my own knowledge that drugs do not play well in my body…

trying to convince medical staff of side effects which they had never heard of and hoping that down the road when someone else mentions a similar reaction they will remember my comments and maybe believe that the drug might have different effects on different people…

the difficulty in having the staff not give drugs that made me hallucinate and yank tubes out of my body…

and the amazing nursing staff who believed me and took such great care of me…

I remember how my beloved brought me pictures every day of the morning glories as they opened in the garden…

life can change in an instant… hug your loved ones and tell people you care…