four years ago today I went into surgery for a hysterectomy due to cancer, and a hernia repair… I had two different surgeons involved to get everything done, basically at the same time…

just four months after George died I had been to accountants, financial experts and lawyers to put my affairs in order… I wasn’t sure I would wake up…

I remember that morning, as I lay on the stretcher, my heart pounding, wondering if I had done everything needed so that my girls wouldn’t have too much trouble dealing with my stuff if I didn’t make it… I didn’t want them to struggle the way I had when my beloved died…

I was so thrilled to wake up and learn that the surgery had gone well and the prognosis was excellent…

my body has always reacted poorly to any drugs and the pain meds they gave me kept me from sleeping and made me slightly crazy… eventually (within 8 hours) I was able to convince the doctors and nurses to stop all medication… I have always felt it easier to deal with the pain than the side effects of medication…

so, it was painful for a while, but my head was clear and I knew the pain would subside as my body repaired itself… 

and I was so happy to be alive, that helped too…

every step of my recovery was supported by family and friends… people sent me flowers, brought me food, sat with me, walked with me, ate with me, called me every day, stayed with me, and did chores around the house and yard that I couldn’t manage – for the first six weeks I couldn’t lift anything over a pound… what an amazing group… 

fast forward to today… I am healthy, able to lift and carry, have lost around 40 pounds, walk regularly and eat carefully… I am managing my diabetes with diet and exercise and feel pretty darn good…

still have the most amazing group of people in my life… 

I just realized a few days ago that there are no morning glories in the garden this year… made me a bit sad… we’ve had them in the garden for many years… I just love their beauty, the surprise in the morning when they open, and the inner glow they seem to have… when I was in hospital in 2010 for a six week stint, I remember George taking pictures each morning before he came so he could show the blooms to me…

I miss my beloved each and every day but know I truly am blessed as I continue down this new path…

life is fleeting…   enjoy every moment…