Tag Archives: death

whacked…

05 Wednesday Mar 2025

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I’ve been a bit off, and grumpy, for the last little while, and it wasn’t until I was talking with my daughter that I realized the cause…

I hadn’t been paying much attention to the calendar as most of the time feels like Saturday or Sunday now that I am retired, lol…

it has been thirteen years to the day since my beloved passed…

feels a bit like it snuck up on me although in the past month I have had several dreams about finding him in the hospital with a disconnected breathing tube in his mouth… no one had told me he was dead…

seems strange that after all this time I can still be whacked with the grief…

the good news is that once I figure out what has been causing the discomfort, it usually passes and I am able to move forward in a more positive frame of mind…

I don’t forget him, but can get back to remembering all of the wonderful times we had together and make new memories of the wonderful life that I do have…

this photo of trees is one of the last I took with him… we had taken a drive through the park to see the hoarfrost…

so many wonderful memories;-)…

swallowed…

21 Wednesday Sep 2022

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I got swallowed up in the events around the Queen’s death and eventual funeral…

reminded me of the way I fall into the Olympics, lol… I always want to watch everything as it happens…

the good news is that these days I am able to be up in the middle of the night and sleep during the day if needed…

now to catch up on a bit of missed sleep…

magic…

11 Monday Apr 2016

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been thinking about cancer quite a bit lately…

  
picked these daffodil pins up on Thursday and left them at the office for my colleagues to wear during April… the daffodil is a symbol of strength and courage in the fight against cancer… 

the colleague we recently lost had her birthday in April and I’ve been thinking of her a lot…

also, the many others in my life who have succumbed to the disease… my mom, mother-in-law, family friends… and those who have survived…

it has been nearly four years since my surgery… the cancer is all tied up with George’s death as the diagnosis was just weeks after… 

I am doing very well but the magic number is five years… wonder how I will feel when that last appointment at CancerCare happens… 

I remember how shocked I was at the relief when the doctor called to advise that there was no cancer left following the surgery… I had thought that I wasn’t worried about it at all, lol… wrong…

orchid bloom opening…

 

cards…

28 Monday Mar 2016

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saw a memory on Facebook a few days ago about my writing thank you cards after George died…

so many people did so many kind things for all of us during those difficult days…

didn’t know what to do with all the beautiful words and cards that were sent to us…

my son-in-law took all of them and scanned the fronts and backs into the computer… what a clever idea…

was able to keep the memories and not have piles of paper gathering dust… and I can go in and look at them now and again… which I did tonight when I was taking a picture of the scans… 

 

lovely to read the heartfelt comments… cried for quite a while…  

was reminded of this a few days ago when I was changing out the drawers in the living room table as I was getting ready for Easter…

the sweet valentine card that my colleagues presented to me was there and I wasn’t prepared to just throw it out…

  
took a few photos, after reading it again, and then scanned it into the computer…  makes putting the original into the recycling so much easier…

  

we write notes of appreciation for our colleagues on a fairly regular basis and pop them into their box… I wrote one for a colleague a few days ago… 

it is wonderful to go into your own box and read a great note… particularly on a day when things aren’t going as well as they could, lol…

I write one for each staff person each year on the anniversary of my starting… I know how much I appreciate hearing their kind words and want them to know how much I appreciate them individually… 

as a society I don’t think we write near the number of cards that we used to…
 

 

anniversary…

04 Friday Mar 2016

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took a few pictures of the orchid this morning…

  
the blossoms are now falling each day…

  
still beautiful in their own way…

wore my new jeans today and everyone loved them…

  
some of the detail on the back…

  
all day I kept trying to figure out what was making my hands blue… must have washed them a dozen times to get the colour off…

finally mentioned it, only to learn that I should have washed the jeans with salt or vinegar before wearing them the first time… it was the dye that was rubbing off on my hands, lol… clear that I am not a jean connoisseur… good thing I learned this before sitting on my couch, lol…

been thinking of my beloved more than usual… tomorrow marks four years since his death… seems to me that the week or so before the anniversary is more difficult than the actual day…

looking through photos I decided on this one for my Facebook profile picture…

  
we had spent a lovely time at the zoo with our youngest grandson and just came out of the butterfly garden… he was tired and had a seat on the lovely bench while trying to convince the little guy to join him… doesn’t he look like an angel…

I miss him…

health…

03 Thursday Mar 2016

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been thinking a lot about folks who have been dealing with health issues, either sick or injured…

so many people I know have struggled with miserable colds and flu… both of my girls were ill and got sent home on Monday… many friends are just beginning to get over various issues…

the beginning of March is a difficult time for me… can’t help but think back to the loss of my beloved… I’ve been inundated with Facebook memories of things we did in the days just before his death…

have also been working on a project where I’ve been looking through my photographs… am always surprised at how much I have forgotten and the pictures are great reminders of special moments…

  
came across this picture of a Chihuly glass fixture at 295 York… George and I had dinner there a few times when it was still the Lobby on York…

lost my parents when they were both just over 65… George’s dad died around that age and he didn’t make it to 65… for a while I have been wondering if I will make it to 65… looks like I will, lol…

I am feeling healthy and in better shape than I’ve been for years…

although there is sadness, life is good…

pain…

11 Monday Jan 2016

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took a picture of my Japanese maple this morning… wanted a baseline for the next few months as the leaves start to produce again… poor little thing struggles every fall when it comes into the house…

  
lots of conversation tonight about some of the things I learned after George’s death… the discussion brought back some of the pain from those early days… 

we talked about the importance of sharing our thoughts about our final wishes with our family and friends – if and when to pull the plug – what we would hope for in a funeral/memorial/ gathering – where needed information is located… made me think that I should review the when mom dies file that I’ve prepared for the girls… when the time comes it should be as easy as possible for them…

  

on our way home caught this great shot of the sky… excellent to have things to remind me of my wonderful life…

goodbye…

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

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this morning I read an article that touched me…

it mentioned a quote from Paulo Coelho:

If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

made me wonder if I have to let go of George… and exactly how I would do that…

not sure I want to let him go, but maybe it is the sadness that I must let go…

how do I remember the special times and not feel the sad moments…

thought that I’ve been doing fairly well…

tomorrow marks three years since his death… trying to figure out how to deal with the day…

for the last few years I have had dinner with all of my kids… this year they have things happening and we can’t gather without a lot of complex organizing, so I said we wouldn’t… 

I am sure I will speak with my daughters at some point in the evening but felt I/we needed to be moving forward…

maybe that’s why the quote touched me…

Monday was a very bad day… he died on a Monday… 

we will see what tomorrow brings…



memories…

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

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had a conversation recently about someone who had lost their partner a few months ago…

brought back all kinds of memories…

thought about the requirements that had to be sorted out… the documents I had to complete… the money grabs that seemed to be part of the process… the feeling of drowning in paperwork and worry…

for the last few months I’ve been thinking about getting the house in order… getting rid of stuff that I don’t want or need… I want to make it as easy as possible for my girls when the time comes for them to deal with my stuff…

I sure do miss my beloved…

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