Tag Archives: widow

miss…

05 Saturday Dec 2020

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sitting in the hot tub last night, remembering my beloved on what would have been his 72nd birthday, I was reminded of all the fun things we have done together during our forty plus years…

I’d been wanting a hot tub since our anniversary many years ago when he rented one for a weekend, but we couldn’t afford one until 2009…

once I chose the one I wanted, he built a deck to put it on, and then a deck to go in front of it… easy to get to, it is now perfect for dips… he never loved the hot tub the way I did, but wanted me to be happy…

when we had friends over (you remember that, right?) for a hot tub, if we needed a drink or towel or anything, we’d bang on the wall of the house and he would come out to see what was required, lol… he’d also take photos when I wanted them…

with the new security light/camera on the garage, I have to go to the side door of the garage and turn off the power so that the light doesn’t keep coming on while I’m in the tub… thankfully the deck goes right there so it is easy to get to and from…

some of our best talks happened late at night in this hot tub… I sure do miss him…

connecting…

04 Friday Dec 2020

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with everyone learning how to connect with family and friends over the last six months or so, my daughter reminded me that we have been doing this for years…

just today, a Facebook memory was of a gathering we had eight years ago… my daughter was in BC, my son-in-law was in northern Alberta, and the rest of us were here…

technology has come a long way since then and there are many ways to connect… the main ones I currently use are Skype, Google Duo and FaceTime… I’ve been using Skype Organize a Conference Call without going through my Skype account, but over the last few weeks going through my account is working much better… I think I need to learn a bit about Zoom…

still, always happy when it works fine…

61st…

03 Thursday Dec 2020

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it would have been my beloved’s 72nd birthday tomorrow… we’ve commemorated it a number of ways over the years and this year I plan on dinner from Modern Plate Catering, with my Ottawa kids on Google Duo…

we’ve had some wonderful birthday celebrations over the years…

one of my favourites was his 61st birthday… he was recovering from quadruple bypass on his 60th, so we couldn’t do anything special, lol… on his 61st we had dinner out at Fusion Grill with his boy friends and their partners…

during his illness he had three particular friends who went for walks, coffee, talks and visits with him on a regular basis… it was such fun to spend time with them all together… it was a great surprise for him and everyone had a lovely time…

last night I spent ages searching for this picture and did not find it… this morning it came up in my Facebook memories, lol…

fun to remember some of those special times… makes the days happier;-)…

eighth…

02 Wednesday Dec 2020

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yesterday marked eight years as a blogger and WordPress reminded me in the evening…

kind of amazing to think I have been writing nearly every day for all that time… it started with information about all the challenges and things I learned after my beloved died… from needing numerous death certificates, to knowing the right answers for insurance forms, to how to get the car transferred to my name, to setting up an estate account at the bank… there were so many things that I didn’t know I didn’t know and had to figure out…

I wanted to help others who might be going through similar circumstances…

it has moved from that to sharing a view of my journey as I move through life without my other half…

those big girl pants continue to be difficult to get into some days…

swag…

30 Monday Nov 2020

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had a lovely front yard visit with a friend who dropped off some items from an online fundraiser…

before she arrived I put one of the deck chairs out by the bird feeders… she sat there and I sat on the steps… luckily, we each had our own tea, so that kept us warm…

got two poinsettias and a swag for the front door…

after she left, I spent quite some time hanging the swag on the door… there is quite a bit of fishing line holding it up, lol…

it was nice to have a face-to-face with another person…

freezer…

29 Sunday Nov 2020

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yesterday, I had two deliveries…

the first was from La Belle Baguette and included croissants, butter tarts and sourdough bread… I was hoping for scones, but they aren’t baking those just now…

I am so happy that they are doing deliveries on Fridays and Saturdays now that we have been shut down again… I shared the croissants and enjoyed my chocolate one… it was delicious, as always…

I had other things planned for dinner, but decided on a grilled cheese with onion and bacon… yum… the rest of that loaf will be cut up for stuffing and popped into the freezer…

the butter tarts were put into the freezer, either as a treat for me, or something to have should anyone drop anything off and I want to send something home with them…

a bit later in the day, my groceries from Save-On-Foods arrived… these days it takes four or five days for delivery and more items are out of stock… but, nearly everything gets here…

I am blessed to have these options available… and happy to do a bit of local purchasing where I can…

woes…

28 Saturday Nov 2020

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technology woes…

I consulted with my son-in-law about my printer, which says it wants to talk to a technician, lol… sadly, it is dead and I need to replace it… that exact one isn’t available and there are so many options which I have to decide on, and most importantly, will I be able to connect a new one… on to the homework…

recently I’ve been using my landline number on purchases as I am basically always in the house…

a few days ago I received a call and none of my portable phones worked… they all say “out of range”… I tried unplugging and replugging them in, but to no avail…

luckily, I have two phones upstairs that actually connect with a phone plug and so I brought one down to the main floor while I try to figure this out…

technology is such a gift when it is working, but a pain when it isn’t, particularly when no one can come into the house…

timer…

27 Friday Nov 2020

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I’ve been laughing to myself off and on over the last few weeks whenever I looked at the lights in the front window…

I set up the timer twice, but of course, not correctly… I have watched it come on and go off at the oddest times… instead of going off at 11:30 pm, it might come on then… or just stay off… or just stay on… or…

so, yesterday morning, once again I reset the time and tried to get it set to the schedule where it comes on at 4 pm and goes off at 11:30 pm… this time I ignored the directions and just tried to figure it out…

so far, fingers crossed, it has come on and gone off at the correct time…

I am so proud, lol… and my son-in-law will be astonished…

silver…

26 Thursday Nov 2020

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I added more silver and white ornaments to the tree and a bit of garland to give it depth, although I don’t like garland on the whole… many of the ornaments marked special Christmas times…

I also hung up some wreaths and brought up a teddy bear from the basement that I have always loved…

I was reminded of many previous Christmas trees and decorations… when my daughter moved away she promised to come home for Christmas and she did for many years… the first year she wasn’t able to come home she sent all of us a dragonfly glittery ornament to put on our trees… since then it has gone on the tree each year… for the rest of the year it is clipped onto a chocolate hanging in the hall… she loves chocolate;-)…

I also hung three wreaths… one I made the year my mom was in palliative care and at the same time my sister-in-law was losing her unborn baby… I spent hours at two different hospitals hand sewing the teddy bears and wreath they went on… amazingly stress filled weeks…

now I think back to those times and find great comfort in the memories;-)…