Tag Archives: beloved

sentiments…

18 Wednesday Apr 2018

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very early this morning, as I was waking up, I heard the geese fly overhead… what a lovely way to begin my birthday…

sunshine and warm temperatures also contributed to a great day…

had a rose and balloons and a card filled with lovely sentiments…

throughout the day texts came, phone calls of people singing happy birthday, emails, Facebook posts, a gift card…

all of which made me feel very special…

missing my beloved but wearing those big girl pants, lol…

and as I write this, more geese are flying overhead…

I truly am blessed…

complicated…

17 Tuesday Apr 2018

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was talking with someone who recently lost a parent…

we were commiserating on the steps and costs of dealing with a death…

it has been a reminder of all the difficult times that we went through when my beloved died…

on the weekend relived a bit of the trauma around the car… after he died, it had to be repaired and detailed following the accident and then I had to have it safetied so that my name could go on the lease instead of his…

so many complicated steps… hard…

iced…

14 Saturday Apr 2018

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the silly hot tub is still not working properly… spent some time at the store and have a few more things to try… the temperature was 101 when I left home and when I returned it was 98… not really the direction I was hoping for, sigh…

spent some time with my leg up and iced it before being picked up to go to our last PTE play of the year…

leg is feeling good and the play was funny…

deal…

10 Tuesday Apr 2018

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the recent problem with my knee has reminded me of some of the health issues I’ve overcome in the last ten years…

in 2010 I spent six weeks in hospital with pancreatitis and gall bladder surgery… during that time I was constantly throwing up – one of the things I most hate to do… I remember being so scared when we drove away from the hospital, wondering if I would ever feel better… at that time I still had a drainage tube in my side and felt nauseated all the time… but I had my beloved by my side as I slowly recovered…

in 2012 I spent 3 days in hospital when I had a combined hysterectomy and hernia repair… within eight hours of the surgery I had stopped taking any medications… the pain was easier to deal with than the crazy reactions I had to the drugs… this was just a few months after the loss of my beloved… I remember the drive home which was excruciating as we drove over potholes… I couldn’t lift anything for six weeks, had moved into the main floor bedroom and had friends come to stay to look after me… recovery was a slow painful process…

thinking of the events above has pointed out to me that this knee business is really not a big deal, lol…

sometimes looking back can help deal with the present…

what I have learned is that I need to take care of myself when I am not 100%…

rearranged…

19 Monday Mar 2018

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bought a bouquet on March 5th…

yesterday I tossed out some of the spent flowers and rearranged it…

amazing how long they have lasted and how good they still look…

on Friday I picked up this orchid…

left it in the plastic over the weekend to carry it to the office…

and here it is in its new home…

haven’t had an orchid for ages… they always remind me of my beloved… he brought them home for me all the time…

flowers sure do improve my days;-)…

replicate…

17 Saturday Mar 2018

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thinking of my beloved a lot recently… for the past few days I’ve been thinking of his fried egg sandwiches…

this morning I made an open-faced version using some of the French bread from La Belle Baguette that I picked up yesterday…

I can’t replicate what he did… they were always especially yummy… although that might have to do with how much butter he would add to the bread, lol… and the eggs were always perfectly cooked with soft yolks…

I picked up a few hyacinths the other day… left one at work and brought one home for the bedroom… just love the scent as they open… as it bloomed, discovered that it was pink… I usually get the purple ones…

made me realize how much pink there is currently in the bedroom… I held the hyacinth up to the new curtains which have purples and pinks in them… then realized that my afghan has pink in it as well… and when I put away some laundry in the closet – which I recently hung by colour – I spotted some pink as well…

very interesting as pink has never really been one of my colours…

bandaid…

12 Monday Mar 2018

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yesterday I picked up a new knife set… while I was preparing dinner the younger grandsons very carefully took them out of the packaging… with many admonishments to be careful as the knives were sharp…

they did a great job…

I took down the old set and put up the new ones on the magnetic strip…

as I was putting up the bread knife it slipped down and sliced my finger…

quite a cut… my grandson went to the bathroom to find a bandaid for me… although there were quite a few in the box there wasn’t really the size I needed…

made me laugh because my beloved was always putting a bandage on his fingers, hands, knees, whatever… there were always every kind to be sure he had just the right one to cover whatever cut he had… haven’t replaced them since he died…

guess I need to get some new ones…

icy…

11 Sunday Mar 2018

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been thinking a lot about people struggling with mental and physical health these days…

I usually feel down in February and March and I think it has to do with the lack of light and cold weather… of course this being the time of year that I lost my beloved has added to the negative feelings…

many of those I speak with at this time of year are having similar struggles…

maybe we focus on our aches and pain more because we are getting out and about less, lol…

my knee has been bothering me for about a week now and it is frustrating because I can’t figure out what I did to it…

I will be so happy when I can get out and walk to the Park again without having to worry about freezing temperatures and icy sidewalks… and be able to smell fresh air…

caramel…

10 Saturday Mar 2018

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spent some time this morning watching the Olympics… although there was hockey on for part of the time…

then it was off to PTE to see How the Heavens Go… on the way we stopped at Morden’s and I picked up a salted caramel dark chocolate, along with a few other items… the milk chocolate version was one of George’s favourites… it was six years ago today that we laid him to rest…

had also brought a few shortbread cookies that my friend had made for me after Christmas, which are in the freezer so I can have a treat now and then…

as I walked up the street on the way home, I had to stop and take this picture… the tree is so pretty even though it was gray out…

there are still many trees covered in snow… a number of my cedars have bent over branches and I am hopeful that they will recover…

six…

05 Monday Mar 2018

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two thousand one hundred and ninety-one days since my beloved left me…

you would think that six years would make it easier…

some days it does seem a little easier… many days it doesn’t…

I do things that I’d never done before and I do them well… those big girl pants and all… but I would much rather have him beside me…

I continue to try to remember the good times and focus on them rather than feel sorry for myself… although there are certainly times when I wallow…

I’ve learned to feel those moments and sit in them and not push them aside… I believe that has helped me move forward…

as I write this the tears fall… over the last few weeks I’ve have been reminded of the days when George died and the memorial that followed… it has been very stress-filled as I have been reliving the hours and days immediately following his death…

thinking back to the police arriving at the door and my friends going with me to the hospital… not being told he had died, but walking into the room where his body was… calling my girls, and others… signing a form so that they could harvest his organs… going home to a house without him…

hard days… but today I got chocolate in the mail and bought myself a bouquet of flowers to make me smile;-)…

one step at a time on the journey…